HazeyCat Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Ok here we go Im orignaly a usa citicen..How ever I recently moved to a forin country to be with a man I met on line..We talked for about 3 years or so before hand..I knew he had issues before I came.. But it was already to late I had become attached to him..Not to mention his elderly mom whos 70 or so.. Who now treats me like and calls me her 3ed dauter..Ok skip to current time ever since we moved into this new flat..We have been up and down some times we can go for weeks with out fighting.. But then bam something seams to trigger it and we are back at eachother..The other night it got realy bad and lot of verry hurtful things were said on bouth ends..And in the end the cops came to our house..I left with his parents and stayed the night with them..Came back the next day and we talked.. And everythings been calm since then..But it some how feels cold for me hes been trying to get past it..He tryed to hug me today I just pulled away maybe im over reacting I dunno.. Something else I feel I have to say.. Normaly when I bring home a 12 pack he has 1 or 2 maybe a night..But soon as he gets depressed or stressed he can finish them all in a few hours..Dose that make him a drunk?? He seams to say and think that its normal for people in his country to drink alot.. And honestly from what I can see it is they cant take a p*ss with out a beer in there hand.. And it seams the mind set your not haveing fun unless ya 2 sheets to the wind..But any ways back to us..I supose were a couple I know hes not overly attracted to me we have been togher for 7 monthes or so now.. And only some what close to being intmate like twice other then huggeing and cuddlying and stuff..How ever he gets realy upset and jelous if he thinks im trying to hook up with any one else.. Now I know what ur going to say cut your losses and run.. And I was thinking about that and something his mom said had made me think even more.. She said to me one day after me and him had been fighting " you dont seam to have much luck with men" and honestly shes right the longest relashionship ive ever had has been about a year.. So with that I asked myself this is the standard american attitude of if it dosent work throw it away and go on to the next always the best?? When should you stick with it and make things work.. Today in the car we had a bit of a argurment.. I told him I dont want him drinking around me..He then went on to say the expected I will drink in my house if I want to.. But then later on he did admit that a 12 pack is way to much to have..And did say he needs to do something else about it..Isent that a good sighn Im wondering?? Ok well thats about it for now Oh yeah incase any one wanted to know im 29 and hes 32 Any advice is welcomed Thank you
Author HazeyCat Posted December 24, 2006 Author Posted December 24, 2006 Well I see over 30 something views and no one could bother to respond..Thanks every one realy reconfirms my faith in humanity..
BannaBee57 Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 It might have to do with the fact that the post is kind of hard to read. It's just one big block with strange punctuation. Breaking it up into smaller paragraphs gets a lot more responses. As for your problems... Do you even love this man? He tried to hug you and you pulled away. Is this because you were still mad about the fight or is it because you don't want to me intimate with him? You say you don't think he's very attracted to you and you've been together for 7 months but haven't been intimate. This doesn't speak well for a relationship. I knew the downfall of my relationship was coming when I no longer felt attracted to my ex. He does sound like he has alchohol and jealousy problems. He wants to get wasted whenever he's mad about something and he doesn't want to be a good bf to you, but he'll freak out if anyone else shows you attention. Sounds like he had the potential to become abusive...especaily sense the cops had to be called when you faught. I think you should seriously consider getting out of this situation. It doesn't seem like you're getting much out of the relationship anyway.
JCD Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I agree, he has alcohol problems. Plus, he acts a bit immature by saying it's his house and doesn't want to share it with you. I mean, when I'm in a relationship I try to make the woman happy and not miserable so we have even more arguments. So dump this guy and find someone nicer.
Author HazeyCat Posted December 24, 2006 Author Posted December 24, 2006 Yea I know some times my writeing isent the best.Plus I've been so stressed lately and getting no sleep what so ever. That prob dosent help much.Well today I told him im leaveing altho I have made that statement more times then I can count.And hes been pretty much blameing me for it not workeing out.And saying stuff like "Oh well its your fault for screwing up your life" Like some how leaveing is going to distroy my own life.Some how I just keep hopeing that this time it will all be ok.But I cant seam to get over the things he said that night the cops came.To answer one of the poasters questions.I do love him or I did im not sure any more to be honest.I dident want to hug him b/c he has caused me so much pain and hurt.. Oh well again thank you all
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