DuRaS27 Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 They always come back. Once you stop talking to them, they always come crawling back, but the question is, do you really want them back? I knew I wanted my ex back, but the fact is, it was much more painful to let her back. It'd happened about four separate times. She broke up with me back in April and three times over the summer I'd started initiating no contact--each time she flipped and told me she loved me. A little back story: Her and I go to the same college, and live in the same town. He lives in our town, but he goes to a college four hours away. So school started, she told me she knew she wanted to be with a new guy. I flipped out, and told her I never wanted to see her again. She basically agreed to those terms and we weren't talking. That weekend he drove four hours to see her at our college. I honestly started feeling better. The breakup had lasted literally 6 months and I was sick of her crap. I was happy to finally be free and have a decision not to get back together. Exactly two days after he left to go back home, she called me 14 times in a row. She came to my dorm room, saw me, I slammed the door on her, and she slipped me a 4 page hand written note under the door explaining how she broke up with me because her father doesn't love her--ya, she's insane. She later wrote me an email explaining how much she misses and truly loves me. Keep in mind, she has a new boyfriend that she's been with for nearly 6 months--she started dating him literally 5 days after her and I broke up. So me being me, I decide to finally talk to her the next day. She comes back to my room with me, and we make out for a good four hours. Honestly, as much as I hated this guy that'd stolen her away from me, I felt bad for him. He'd just spent a fortune driving out to see her, and now she was laying on my bed making out with me. She explains that she's absolutely sure that she loves me and even wants to marry me, but she can't see us together for another five years. This all goes on for a couple of months. Each day I spend with her I hope that something will happen that forces her to make make a decision about me, but it doesn't. Finally one day I tell her that she must end it with the other guy or end it with me. She opts for a third option, saying she's messed up all her relationships; she goes after a new guy. Anyway, I think that if you've broken up, you've broken up for a good reason and shouldn't get back together. I honestly thought this girl was the exception to every rule in the book, but instead she was the girl that proves all those rules correct. I'm sure guys can do the same thing too. Just watch out, and be absolutely sure that your ex wants you back. You can't accept anything less than being together. I'm now not even talking to my ex. We're on worse terms than ever and the fact is, even if we wanted to get back together 4 years down the road, we can't because we've both said such horrible things to each other. We had ended on good terms with the no contact, but now we're on horrible terms. Don't make the same mistake I did.
Guest Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 my 2 cents i wouldn't be concerned about how many days had passed before your ex started seeing someone - but the 5 days u mentioned sounds to me that she and this person probably had something going on before she left u. that would be my only concern. as for her being with someone, thats her business not yours. the thing i would be concerned about is that she has said she loves u but wants to wait 5 years and didn't explain why. that is disrespectful. what i would do is tell her you love her too, but that you are not going to wait 5 years. tell her u are going to start dating as well and if in the future u are both single - then things might work out. but right now, she is not interested but has told u honest stuff. sounds ok to me.
pennyjosix Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 haha you admit to her being crazy, but you still made out with her for 4 hours. Crazy in love. Just move on dude. Easier said than done I know but you seem to have given yourself good advice.
Rooster_DAR Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 haha you admit to her being crazy, but you still made out with her for 4 hours. Crazy in love. Just move on dude. Easier said than done I know but you seem to have given yourself good advice. It's easy to give advice, but sometimes it's very hard to follow. When my EX starting sniffing around again, I fell back into the trap, and found myself contradicting all the advice I was giving other people. East to do.
Guest Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 "It's easy to give advice, but sometimes it's very hard to follow. When my EX starting sniffing around again, I fell back into the trap, and found myself contradicting all the advice I was giving other people." I AM WITH YOU on this one roosty, because i've done the same thing - but i don't beat myself up over it because if it felt right when u did it then that's ok. i'll give u an example - for over 6 months i swore i would never check out where my ex was living because i figured that would only lead to the tempatation to one day walk up and knock on her door. but, i broke that rule this morning and i went to see where she was living, more because i was curious about where she was and what kind of place she had bought. and thats what i did and i just a touch more, i left her a present at the address but had to decide was it A or B because two homes had the same address - see, nothing ever comes that easy for me - LOL. so, i left it at B and if she looks out her window she'll see a painting i did for her and she can go out and get it and take a chainsaw to it - hope really hope she likes it [lol]
Rooster_DAR Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 "It's easy to give advice, but sometimes it's very hard to follow. When my EX starting sniffing around again, I fell back into the trap, and found myself contradicting all the advice I was giving other people." I AM WITH YOU on this one roosty, because i've done the same thing - but i don't beat myself up over it because if it felt right when u did it then that's ok. i'll give u an example - for over 6 months i swore i would never check out where my ex was living because i figured that would only lead to the tempatation to one day walk up and knock on her door. but, i broke that rule this morning and i went to see where she was living, more because i was curious about where she was and what kind of place she had bought. and thats what i did and i just a touch more, i left her a present at the address but had to decide was it A or B because two homes had the same address - see, nothing ever comes that easy for me - LOL. so, i left it at B and if she looks out her window she'll see a painting i did for her and she can go out and get it and take a chainsaw to it - hope really hope she likes it [lol] :laugh:
gfto Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 You learned a valuable lesson. When a girl dumps you and you suddenly go NC, she'll start calling again. But, it's never because she's interested in you. She just wants to see if you'll chase after her like a stooge. Every guy wants to believe his ex is an exception to this.
D-Lish Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 I think I'm at that point where I wouldn't take my ex back. He's come sniffing around again after 5 months- and I have met someone else I want to pursue something with... so it's a little late as far as I'm concerned. I've spent too long lamenting over him, I don't have the time or inclination to stay in the game any longer. :-) D
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