Guest Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 I am worried about something in my marriage. i love my wife very much and i want her affection. and sex. she is less affectionate than i am. but what troubles me is that 9 out of 10 times she comes to me for affection and sex, she has been drinking. but the thing is, i don't think she has what most would call a drinking problem. she is a wonderful person and i would do anything for her. i want more to get more affection for her, but i realize that i cannot make anyone do something. any ideas on how i approach this topic with her? any other suggestions?
bab Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 I don't think this is that uncommon. Alcohol lowers ones inhibitions, therefore making it easier for them to realize when they want sex. The best thing I can suggest is to talk to her. Say something like: "Honey, I notice that when you've been drinking you get alot more affectionate and want sex more, and I love it! Anything we can do to make you feel like that even when you aren't drinking?"
blind_otter Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 but the thing is, i don't think she has what most would call a drinking problem. Why not? What is your definition of a "drinking problem"?
My Fair Katie Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Wow. Is that you dear? Anyway, for me personally, I feel more open after a beer, G&T or glass of wine. I'm less afraid to ask for things that "proper" girls wouldn't ask. And yeah, I'll be much more of a h3llcat in bed. I mean, I still like sober sex naturally, I'm just a tad more wild with a drink.
PandorasBox Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Why not? What is your definition of a "drinking problem"? This was my question as well. You don't have to be a fallen down drunk to be considered an alcoholic or having some kind of drinking problem. Does she never want sex unless she has been drinking? I say she might need to get into some counseling. For the drinking and for the deeper issue she may have for why she doesn't feel affectionate towards you much any other time.
Guest Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 This was my question as well. You don't have to be a fallen down drunk to be considered an alcoholic or having some kind of drinking problem. Does she never want sex unless she has been drinking? I say she might need to get into some counseling. For the drinking and for the deeper issue she may have for why she doesn't feel affectionate towards you much any other time. I guess that's what I'm wondering. Her drinking doesn't really affect other parts or our life. I just get frustrated with the affection part. I used to drink a lot with her. I just don't find in fun anymore. I guess from my experience with alcohol, I can see how it breaks down inhibitions. I just wish that there was more affection when alcohol wasn't involved. Thanks for the suggestions on how to approach this with my wife. The last thing I want to do is push her away.
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