guest Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 Ok so me and my boyfriend have been together for quite a while now and he was always kinda like this but its getting really bad. He'll come over or we'll go somewhere and he'll seem like he is in a really bad mood or he is sad or something but then when i ask what's wrong he'll be like nothing, i hate that question and ill say something like baby if somethings wrong tell me you seem sad or something and he just keeps saying nothing is wrong it really worries me because i always feel like its the end but it just keeps going on and i don't want to break up with him because when he is having a good day we have an awesome time together. If there is any secret behind this FILL ME IN PLEASE! Or if you have the same problem tell me so i have someone who can relate i really need someone to talk to even if you have nothing to do with this! PLEASE reply!
Storyrider Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 This sounds like a manipulative behavior to me, a way of getting attention from you, while simultaneously withholding what you want, which is to know what he is thinking and feeling. Kind of passive aggressive it seems to me. I would not ask him at all what is wrong next time he does this, or at least just ask him once. If he persists in moping for no apparent reason I would just cheerfully say, "Lets get together later when you're feeling more up to it," and go do something without him. He will get the idea that you're not going to play the game.
brickaney Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 Ok so me and my boyfriend have been together for quite a while now and he was always kinda like this but its getting really bad. He'll come over or we'll go somewhere and he'll seem like he is in a really bad mood or he is sad or something but then when i ask what's wrong he'll be like nothing, i hate that question and ill say something like baby if somethings wrong tell me you seem sad or something and he just keeps saying nothing is wrong it really worries me because i always feel like its the end but it just keeps going on and i don't want to break up with him because when he is having a good day we have an awesome time together. If there is any secret behind this FILL ME IN PLEASE! Or if you have the same problem tell me so i have someone who can relate i really need someone to talk to even if you have nothing to do with this! PLEASE reply! Maybe nothing is wrong. I used to think my boyfriend was in a bad mood quite often because of his tone of voice and how quiet he was. If he is in a bad mood then leave him alone about it. Guys don't talk out their problems like women do. They have to solve them by themselves and pestering them about it will only make him become more distant. He may be like my bf and not actually be in a bad mood. Ask him to use a different tone of voice with you since it's making you feel bad. You're taking the issue too personally. It's his problem so let him take care of it. Don't demand that he speak to you differently or even talk if he doesn't want to. He'll get over it himself. With my bf I've gotten used to it. Everytime we talk on the phone he sounds like he's mad so we keep talking on the phone to a minimum. Anytime he talks to me with his angry tone of voice I'll ask him "Are you in a bad mood?" which has become code to say "Please change your tone of voice" and he does. You need to figure out what works best for the two of you. Don't try to get him too involved in discussing the problem though because that may make him feel like you're accusing him of hurting you. It's most likely not a secret problem he's withholding (since guys don't generally do that). It's simple miscommunication and learning to understand one another.
My Fair Katie Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 When My Fair Husband acts like a turd I leave him alone with a very short, "I'll be doing XYZ, let me know if you need anything." Then the ball is in his court, if he wants to talk out his bad mood he knows where to find me, and if he'd rather stomp around a bit and find me when he's calmed down to hang out, well that's all good too. Personally when I'm in a foul mood I like to be left alone to stomp around and sulk, so I do have a bit of sympathy for your BF here. Once he says, "nothing" is wrong, you should take him at his word and not nag him, just say, "Okay, but if you need to talk, you know where to find me, I'm gonna go water the plants/change the bed linens/remove those little lint pills from my sweaters."
brickaney Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 ...remove those little lint pills from my sweaters." hahahahahahaha I can't stop laughing at this one hahahahaha I'm definitely using this sarcastic approach if needed. This quote made my day.
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