Lemont Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 Hi, I'm 15 and have just asked someone out on an Instant Messenger, and she has said yes but it is still really akward. I hardly ever talk to her actually at my school and only really get to talk to her properly on an instant messenger. I find this easier, probably because i'm not very confident in my looks and get slightly shy when I know girls are looking at me close up. Anyway, I hardly ever talk to her at school and now am "going out" with her. We're yet to go anywhere together, and when we do I reckon It will be really akward, as I'll run out of things to say and hardly ever talk to her face to face. Its really difficult at school to walk up to her in her massive group of friends and properly talk, and even when I do get the chance, I usually fluff it. I think she Is also quite shy, so I probably will have to take the lead. On top of that I think one of her friends really dislikes me! Any advice would be great!!
brickaney Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 Are you in jr. high or high school? This is obviously your first dating experience and it's definitely going to be awkward. You're going out of your comfort zone and taking a risk. I applaud you for taking initiative to even admit to anyone that you're feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious. I personally found every guy I "went out with" awkward until I met my current boyfriend. I did get through all the awkwardness with my first couple of boyfriends by pushing myself out of my comfort zone and going on dates and calling the person (oh what a horror that was). There's a lot of sweat, butterflies, and anxiety when you're first starting out. They will disappear quicker depending on how much you can make yourself grow. Instant messanger is very impersonal and you're never going to start feeling comfortable around this girl until you can talk to her (at least on the phone). Taking babysteps may be your thing but I have to warn you that it will only make "getting rid of the awkwardness" more painful. Here's an analogy: would you rather tip toe your way into a cold pool and wait for the water to warm itself up or would you rather just jump in, get it over with, and adapt to your new environment? Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. This girl wouldn't have said yes if she didn't find you attractive and enjoy your company. Gain more self-confidence because it will help you expand the barriers of your comfort zone. You'll mature, people will notice and very likely encourage you, your confidence will boost again, and this cycle will happen (even if subtly) throughout your life. Do not make the mistake of assuming that confidence will come to you and comfort will just appear. These are things you have to work for. Take the initiative. Be yourself. And take risks.
Recommended Posts