Guest Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 Well my name is jonathan. Im in the US army and currently in Iraq. Let me get straight to the point. Ive been going out with my gf for about 20 mos. We have been a long distant relationship the whole time. She lived back in California and i was stationed in Alaska. I would come every 6 to 8 weeks and come see her for the weekend. Alot of times it got very hard and frustrating being away and all. We would argue but when i came home it was like perfect. NEver a dull moment and everything just went well. Both happy and excited with each others presence. Well to start off what happened was in begining in june she broke up with me and said we needed time apart and so we split up, but i have always been lonely being up there alone without friends and family. I started to date this girl we went on a few dates but i always felt abit guilty. It made me realize that i really loved my girl, in july i got block leave and came home for about 16 days. We worked it out fine and started goin out. I was happier then ever. The other girl had called me a few times but i stop everything with her. My girl at the time angie asked who it was and i lied about it. I said it was some friend i met at a club. I really didnt want to hurt my girls feelings or start somthing horrble. She later found out that we went out and she caught me in serveral lies about it but i finally admitted everything to her. So we pushed it aside and i went back to alaska did some training for iraq and i came back home in sept the issue came back up once we fought about it then just made up. everything seem so fine and i proposed to her and asked her to marry me she said yes.. She said she wait for me till i get back from Iraq and she would move up there in alaska with me. 3 weeks into my tour she wanted to break up with me well she did.. She said she realized what she is waiting for and made it seem like are whole realtion ship was horrble and bad. That just tore me up real badly then 2 weeks later she said she was pregnant.. we both dont belive in abortion at all and i'll be gone the whole time and she was finishing school. She said she would have kept it if i was closer at least in Alaska. So she had it. We were on the verge of fixing thing but she got the abortion day before thanksgiving.. but after that our last phone call she told me she dosnt love me and not give me another chance and that she wants to move on with her life and not havnt anything to do with me ever and hear from me.. Im so frustated and depressed because being here in Iraq and not able to do anything about it.. Being half way around the world.. I get to come home in June for midtour leave.. But she changed her number.. I havnt talked to her in 3 wks.. I need your help.. anyones help.. she was my motivation and inspiration to keep on everyday here.. and i lost concentration and feel so depressed and frustated.. What can i do? do you think were able to rekindle our love or when i come home in june sparks fly again? I hope to hear from you soon.. thank you .. jonathan
norajane Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 I'm sorry you're going through all this with her. However, if the sparks don't fly with her again, there will be other girls and other sparks!! Your situation doesn't make it easy on couples - lots of marriages don't even make it through that kind of long-term separation. It's even harder with a girlfriend, so don't think that you have failed or anything. Good luck to you.
quankanne Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 jonathan, I hate to say it, but I think in her mind the relationship is definitely over, and you wanting her back only makes things harder for both of you. Someone who is going back and forth between wanting to break up and get together with his/her partner is just delaying the inevitable break up. I know this isn't what you want to hear, because you really sound like you're in pain, but you shouldn't be setting your hopes on a relationship that she considers dead. As hard as it is, it's time to figure out how to move on without her in your life. And, as much as it sounds like a line of hokey BS, what you take from this relationship brings you that much closer to the love you're meant to have, I honestly believe (and have experienced) this ... this is not to say that maybe a couple of years down the road you two won't reunite, but for now, it's best to make a clean break even if it's a hard thing to do. Is there anyone in your unit that is a confidante, who you can talk to? A chaplain? A buddy? stay safe – my nephew is also on tour in Iraq right now with the 2-10th MT DIV LIGHT.
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