reprise13 Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 Hi group... I just started to get the feeling that my gf is starting to take me for granted. Does anyone think this is a bad thing? If so, what can I do to change this? Also, lately she mentioned that "I have so much to offer her", which is true...but I'm not sure of what to think of that statement. Thoughts? Reprise
My Fair Katie Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 I'm fairly certain that the "you have so much to offer me" was intended as a compliment. Sort of a "you're the prefect package." It is worded a bit funny though. But to answer your question, yes, it's bad to take your partner for granted and a very easy habit to fall into. You need to let her know how you're feeling and how she can step up to the plate and make you feel more important to her.
Author reprise13 Posted December 21, 2006 Author Posted December 21, 2006 I'm fairly certain that the "you have so much to offer me" was intended as a compliment. Sort of a "you're the prefect package." It is worded a bit funny though. But to answer your question, yes, it's bad to take your partner for granted and a very easy habit to fall into. You need to let her know how you're feeling and how she can step up to the plate and make you feel more important to her. Well, maybe I'm not certain what "taking for granted means". She has been stepping it up a lot lately, such as inviting me to go places more often, offering to pick me up from work, and asking me to go on weekend getaways. It seems that I'm starting to lose control in the relationship almost...maybe that's why I feel she's taking me for granted...like I will bow to her every need. I'm just looking for recommendations on how to create that challenge again. Reprise.
Spinderella Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 It sounds as though the relationship is going through a natural progression. It has moved past the creating attraction stage and is now deepening and becoming more committed. Its neccessary to be a little bit vulnerable to get to this stage, I think. It sounds as though thats what you are feeling. Have you had many long term relationships?
Author reprise13 Posted December 21, 2006 Author Posted December 21, 2006 It sounds as though the relationship is going through a natural progression. It has moved past the creating attraction stage and is now deepening and becoming more committed. Its neccessary to be a little bit vulnerable to get to this stage, I think. It sounds as though thats what you are feeling. Have you had many long term relationships? I haven't had many long term relationships at all. I mean I created a challenge for the first 2 months we were dating...then it went exclusive for another 1-2 months. I always thought I should be putting up a challenge and not giving in at any point because it seems that's what creates attraction. I could be wrong, or maybe it's supposed to be like at the beginning. I'm definitely feeling vulnerable right now..is this supposed to happen?
Spinderella Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 I haven't had many long term relationships at all. I mean I created a challenge for the first 2 months we were dating...then it went exclusive for another 1-2 months. I always thought I should be putting up a challenge and not giving in at any point because it seems that's what creates attraction. I could be wrong, or maybe it's supposed to be like at the beginning. I'm definitely feeling vulnerable right now..is this supposed to happen? In my experience, it always happens. After all, with the creating attraction stage, you haven't usually invested too much into it. By the time it gets to getting serious stage, you have usually invested your emotions and some hopes. It is only natural to feel a little bit vulnerable. Don't hold back too much, this is also an exciting part of a relationship and if you keep it on the fairly superficial level, then that ceases to be attractive after a while IMO. I like to know that aswell as being a challenge, a guy also has depth to him, and emotion. I think thats what most women want too.
norajane Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 Well, maybe I'm not certain what "taking for granted means". She has been stepping it up a lot lately, such as inviting me to go places more often, offering to pick me up from work, and asking me to go on weekend getaways. It seems that I'm starting to lose control in the relationship almost...maybe that's why I feel she's taking me for granted...like I will bow to her every need. I'm just looking for recommendations on how to create that challenge again. Reprise. What do you mean by "bowing to her every need"? Is she asking you to do things you don't want to do but are doing them anyway? Do you feel you have the freedom to do things without her? Is there something you want to be doing that you aren't/can't?
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