silveris250 Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 alright guys, this is my first thread so bare with me. Two years ago, I got out of a relationship with my first love, it wasn't going to work out mainly because I moved to another state and we tried to keep it going but..to my suprise she cheated on me. We were together 3 years. I've had my time to heal so I got back into the dating scene and found a girl that I really like al ot. She's 21 and i'm 24. We've been dating for 8 months going on 9 and to my suprise I never knew that I'd experience feelings of love again. She's also was in a pretty messed up relationship for 4 years..and rebounded with a guy for 8 months until she met me...well..we actually met at work. But things have been great..we keep things very professional. Now, the thing is..I stil have some insecurites about this relationship. I know that I can trust her..but sometimes my mind floats towards the bad things like...what if she cheats on me like the last one did..or..what if its a phase for her mainly because..shes never had anyone treat her as well as I have..Shes the type of girl that would not open up to you because she's been hurt so bad that she kept up a wall..she did open up her wall to me until I talked about my feelings about trust..she then got pretty upset and told me that it did hurt her feelings and that she is putting back up her wall because shes scared that I can dump her in any second. Well, I showed her through my actions that I made the mistake of mistrusting her. But now this is the question, I really like this girl a lot..I'd like to marry her someday, and she did talk about wanting to marry me. Is this just a phase that she's going through? Does it seem like its too soon to know? She tells me that she wants to be together for a long time..? ANother question I told her the 3 special words..but she hasn't said it back to me..and its wierding me out..I'd be nice to hear her say that..but in a way I'm trying to hold back my feeilngs too. I don't know..help me out guys!
BlueEyedSarah Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 what if she cheats on me like the last one did.. You need to get out of the habit of thinking that every girl will be the same as your ex, because not every girl is like that . she did open up her wall to me until I talked about my feelings about trust..she then got pretty upset and told me that it did hurt her feelings and that she is putting back up her wall because shes scared that I can dump her in any second. She is insecure that you will dump her because you don't trust due to your past relationship. I told her the 3 special words..but she hasn't said it back to me..and its wierding me out..I'd be nice to hear her say that She doesn't want to fling out the 'I love you' because she is not ready to say it to you yet. It takes couples in a relationship time before they can say it because many see it as a commitment to the next stage which she is not ready for. It does not mean she doesn't love you or want to be with you in a relationship, she is just not ready for the commitment of saying I love you. Just give her time, she will say it . I think you just need to relax and not rush things with her. She got out of a very long relationship and it is still on her mind while she is dating you and your ex is still on your mind too because of the way she has hurt you. Has the girlfriend you are with now cheated on you? If not then I see no reason for you to mistrust her. Just remember she is not the same girl as your ex, so no reason to be insecure or mistrust her is there?
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