Thoughts on a heartless NPD demon

[Values]

Learning and educating myself is one of the things that has kept me alive this year. Specifically, I am referring to finally figuring out why my ex gf did what she did to me and why. After seeing a therapist a few times and telling him all about her, our relationship, her past, and her childhood, he said she sounds like a narcissist. And a bad one. This thread is something I thought of today, as my overactive brain is always thinking - lately about bad things. Anyway it hit me how my evil-brained, heartless ex, thinks about a relationship.

 

Most of us are capable of giving and receiving love. Most importantly we care about the feelings of others even when they aren't around. We're honest and trustworthy. Women like my ex are not like this, AT ALL. Yes, thinking of her naked and giving it up to guys while with me is too much to take, but here is something I thought of today.

 

A narcissist sees a relationship as most people see a job. They don't love their partner they can't actually love anybody. They see being in a relationship like the rest of us see working for a living. We don't actually LOVE our work-that's way they call it work. N's don't actually love their partners because being "on" all the time is too much work. Most people are in a relationship to give and feel love. To give and get trust and honesty-otherwise what's the point? A "N" treats their partner as a source of narcisstic supply, like most people treat their employer or job as a source of money (supply). Most people don't leave one job without having another because the supply (money) would be cut off. N's can't leave one partner without having another because their nurturing supply of attention would be cut off. Some people work multiple jobs to make money, N's often cultivate multiple relationships at the same time to fill the hole in them left by their neglectful self-centered parents. (my ex gf has a father that's always treated her as 2nd rate) One thing that really makes this comparision is that when we look for a job, we look our best and are super polite and outgoing in the interview, then we start to work with a intensity that can never be withheld, but we want to make a good impression. N's do this by the book with a new guy, they act. They fake everything and eventually slack off and become terrible to be with. They drain you like a bad employee is a drain on a company. I know I'm going on too long, but if you have ever been scarred by an NPD whore, you can understand the comparision to the hiring and employment of a pathetic, company hurting worker who just shows up to get his check and worry only about themselves. Their feelings are no deeper than most people's fondness for thier office desk or boss or Captain. Just give me what I need and I'll give you a bare minimum in return if that.

[notmakingsense]

My ex has both NPD and Commitment Phobia traits... boy did I pick a winner! She's afraid to get into a serious commitment, yet she's also so full of herself (life is all about what *I* can get out of it), she can't understand why I'm not still begging after her like a puppy dog.

 

My radar for finding quality women is need of serious repair.

[In Sync]

Learning and educating myself is one of the things that has kept me alive this year. Specifically, I am referring to finally figuring out why my ex gf did what she did to me and why. After seeing a therapist a few times and telling him all about her, our relationship, her past, and her childhood, he said she sounds like a narcissist. And a bad one. This thread is something I thought of today, as my overactive brain is always thinking - lately about bad things. Anyway it hit me how my evil-brained, heartless ex, thinks about a relationship.

 

Most of us are capable of giving and receiving love. Most importantly we care about the feelings of others even when they aren't around. We're honest and trustworthy. Women like my ex are not like this, AT ALL. Yes, thinking of her naked and giving it up to guys while with me is too much to take, but here is something I thought of today.

 

A narcissist sees a relationship as most people see a job. They don't love their partner they can't actually love anybody. They see being in a relationship like the rest of us see working for a living. We don't actually LOVE our work-that's way they call it work. N's don't actually love their partners because being "on" all the time is too much work. Most people are in a relationship to give and feel love. To give and get trust and honesty-otherwise what's the point? A "N" treats their partner as a source of narcisstic supply, like most people treat their employer or job as a source of money (supply). Most people don't leave one job without having another because the supply (money) would be cut off. N's can't leave one partner without having another because their nurturing supply of attention would be cut off. Some people work multiple jobs to make money, N's often cultivate multiple relationships at the same time to fill the hole in them left by their neglectful self-centered parents. (my ex gf has a father that's always treated her as 2nd rate) One thing that really makes this comparision is that when we look for a job, we look our best and are super polite and outgoing in the interview, then we start to work with a intensity that can never be withheld, but we want to make a good impression. N's do this by the book with a new guy, they act. They fake everything and eventually slack off and become terrible to be with. They drain you like a bad employee is a drain on a company. I know I'm going on too long, but if you have ever been scarred by an NPD whore, you can understand the comparision to the hiring and employment of a pathetic, company hurting worker who just shows up to get his check and worry only about themselves. Their feelings are no deeper than most people's fondness for thier office desk or boss or Captain. Just give me what I need and I'll give you a bare minimum in return if that.

 

 

For myself it's been well over a year since my relationship with a narcissist came to an end..it left me distraught and emotional drained. Make no mistake a breakup is difficult enough to get over and heal from with a somewhat rational and reasonal person, but anyone involved with a narcissist lives with scars that run deep. I commend you that you are seeing a therapist...I would love to say that I came to a point of understanding why he was the way he was (which is exactly as you described ) because I still wonder what made him so void. But i am still comingt terms that i was in such denial that I endured being in such a mentally draining relationship. These relationship just in the mind loonng after their demise because as we come out the fog we feel like we were in an alternate universe, only our hearts paid the price.