frannie Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 I'm waiting until Dec. 31 as a courtesy to him. I know I won't hear the end of my "selfishness" if I choose to end the A before then. Then it's not a curtesy to him, but a case of you doing something that pleases him in order to avoid whatever he choses to do to you that will make your life feel bad..? You're not being 'selfish'. End it now, tomorrow, whenever you choose. What does 'not ending it' involve..? your still seeing him..? what..? Til a point in time when it's convenient for him? Why are you putting up with this? It's disgusting.
NoIDidn't Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Why are you putting up with this? It's disgusting. Frannie, Thanks for saying that. Because if I said it on my own, not being an OW/OM, it would be seen as "bashing". ------------------------------------------------ In all seriousness, you owe him nothing. End it today. You have nothing to lose. You are ending it, not waiting for a new phase. I had guys treat me like others have mentioned when I was a teen. Why put up with this as a grown woman when you already know better than to let ANYONE treat you with such obvious disrespect? (said for the other posters, not the OP). Tell them all to walk on, and then yell.........NEXT!!
frannie Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 Frannie, Thanks for saying that. Because if I said it on my own, not being an OW/OM, it would be seen as "bashing". Ah maybe, but maybe not. Seems like plain good sense to me. Besides... it's not bashing anyone... trying to help someone see where they're perhaps letting themselves down... I hope I'm not being judgmental about affairs, but about how someone is being treated, whatever the situation. (and you can always sign in as a guest, if you feel something strongly but don't want to be seen on one side or another)
Art_Critic Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 A deadline ?? In a loving relationship ?.... I think as long as the deadline is for you and not for him then good for you as long as you stick to it.. but if it is for him then you are losing self respect
redlynne Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 dont please stick to your guns ! i exstended so many deadlines in 5 years , i wished i would have did what i said i would the first time either way you will get your outcome. stop wasting your time .
Author IngenueMisnomer Posted December 23, 2006 Author Posted December 23, 2006 Get this, first he says the reason for the extension is so we won't have to uncomfortable around each other when we have to work so closely in January. But yesterday before he left for vacation he pleads with me to reconsider. So I tell him that if it's going to be so difficult for him to have to be around me and work with me then I'll just take my vacation around that time so we just won't have to deal with each other at all. Then he tells me that he doesn't want me to do that. What he really wants is for us to be able to have this time together since it's going to be for atleast a week so that he could build "good memories" to hold onto. He wants to make the best of every moment we have left until the last second he says and since due to scheduling conflicts and unforseen circumstances we didn't spend very much time together this month, January will be the perfect opportunity to do so. I told him I'd think about it. But the more I've thought of it, the more I realize that his reasons keep changing and conflicting with each other. In the end I think he's just stalling for time and I'm not going to stand for that. So when he gets back I'm going to tell him that it's over for good. I feel almost like he doesn't respect my words. I have to hang on to what little shred of dignity I have left. I don't even think he is fully cognizant of what he's doing. He's the type who try's not to deal with unpleasant situations unless he absolutely has to. Now that time is running out it seems that he's getting desperate and trying to come up with every way to keep me from leaving. However, this time I'm for real. He has to learn that he can't have things both ways. If he wants to be with me ever again it's going to be legitimately. One way or another, unpleasant or not he's going to have to deal with that.
puddleofmud Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 It is my opinion that he doesn't like the control and would rather things end the way he wishes. This should be convenient for HIM, period. I think it's a "man thang". Either that or he feels given time he could change your mind w/ perhaps some intense sex? Either way he seems to want a compliant mistress back on his terms. You so rock, girl, that you aren't giving in to that! You are my idol! Keep up the good work and keep rockin'!
bonehead Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 In the end I think he's just stalling for time and I'm not going to stand for that. So when he gets back I'm going to tell him that it's over for good. I feel almost like he doesn't respect my words. I have to hang on to what little shred of dignity I have left. You will be amazed at how much dignity you will gain when you take control.
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