Baltagi Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Hello All. I am new here. Let me give you a quick background. I have a beautiful son with a girl I met not even 2 years ago. In most senses she is the most perfect woman on earth for me. She has told me openly and honestly that she is/was a Lesbian and been in many relationships with other women. I am actually very ok with this and she hass always been interested in sex with me. Recently we go ton the discussion of threesomes, how she has always wanted to be in one and would like to have another girl live with us and be with us as a sister/companion to her and another wife to me. Well, as any normal guy would say, I am fine with that. I have actually been in a relationship like that for a while before and it was very rewarding. Here is the dilemma I have been having. Lately she has been telling me how I find this girl or that girl attractive and I should just go and have sex with them. I tell her, the threesome is supposed to be the 3 of us, not me having sex with other women. I feel as if she would rather I get sex from someone else. As if she doesnt want to have sex with me anymore. I told her I took offense to this and she says I should not be upset by it at all, that I should just go for it. I really dont know what I am saying anymore right now. I think I will repost after I cool down. Any input would be greeatly appreciated. ~Confused, Crazed and Upset
Girlygirl74 Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 She has told me openly and honestly that she is/was a Lesbian and been in many relationships with other women./quote] Ok, this sounds a bit convoluted, but I'm going to take a crack at this one. It sounds like she's "Bi" and not a lesbian. Although, I do know a woman that was married for over 10 years, had 2 kids, then left her husband for a woman. She knew she was gay the entire time, and couldn't fake the heterosexual lifestyle anymore. It sounds to me like she's pushing you away...and if you sleep with another woman, that may be a way to cause trouble in the relationship, and create an excuse for her to bail out. Then again, maybe she wants the best of both worlds...I know some women like that too. I think you need guys really need to talk about her "status". Is she gay or not? Then go from there. You also need to think about what's best for your child, and be sure to keep the drama to a minimum.
blind_otter Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 I agree with Girlygirl, it does sound like she's pushing you away. Have there been other issues in the relationship aside from this threesome issue?
Sup Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 She has told me openly and honestly that she is/was a Lesbian and been in many relationships with other women./quote] Ok, this sounds a bit convoluted, but I'm going to take a crack at this one. It sounds like she's "Bi" and not a lesbian. Although, I do know a woman that was married for over 10 years, had 2 kids, then left her husband for a woman. She knew she was gay the entire time, and couldn't fake the heterosexual lifestyle anymore. It sounds to me like she's pushing you away...and if you sleep with another woman, that may be a way to cause trouble in the relationship, and create an excuse for her to bail out. Then again, maybe she wants the best of both worlds...I know some women like that too. I think you need guys really need to talk about her "status". Is she gay or not? Then go from there. You also need to think about what's best for your child, and be sure to keep the drama to a minimum. This could be it, OR, maybe she has cheated on ya, and is trying to ease her mind about her cheating, but, I don't know if that's possible......
tanbark813 Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 It sounds to me like she's a lesbian but just went along with being bi to have a kid.
michelangelo Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 I'm thinking you got used as a human turkey baster.
Guest Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 i am not capable of threesomes - i know this for a fatg - i am a horrible multitasker. and no man should take it as a indiction of who he is if a woman leaves for another woman - she is just following her innate soul
Moose Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Well, as any normal guy would say, I am fine with that.This expains SOOOOO much.......I'm not normal! I'm not normal! I'm not normal!! Whew......ok.....continue..... I don't see this relationship blossoming into anything healthy....but then again....I"M NOT NORMAL!!! I'm going with Tan the Man on this one......
che_jesse Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 What is your relationship with this girl of yours? You have a kid together but your not married, not that theres anything wrong with it, my son came along before my guy and I got married, we were headed there anyway, it accedently happened the other way around for some reason though. But you dont even sound like your serious about each other. She certainly does not sound like shes serious about you, maybe its just me, but the person your dating should say "Hey hun, by the way, I think I cant just have sex with one person and I need to marry another swinger" in the first few weeks/months of the relationship. This isnt meant to sound harsh or anything but... It sounds like shes gotten bored with you. Shes certainly being very unfair to you, its not so much what she wants, lots of people live there lives that way and very happily, but that shes trying to force this on you out of no where.
Mr. Lucky Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 If you're already dealing with issues of insecurity and rejection (and you're just in the discussion stage!), think how chaotic the actual 3-way relationship would be. Don't like your chances... Also, you have brought a child into this mix. Do you honestly think that Mommy/Wife A and Mommy/Wife B is the best environment for him to grow up in? Mr. Lucky
Mz. Pixie Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 If you're already dealing with issues of insecurity and rejection (and you're just in the discussion stage!), think how chaotic the actual 3-way relationship would be. Don't like your chances... Also, you have brought a child into this mix. Do you honestly think that Mommy/Wife A and Mommy/Wife B is the best environment for him to grow up in? Mr. Lucky My best work friend is a gay female. She says mostly when it's the woman pursuing the threesome that she's more interested in the female and the man just kinda get's left out in the cold. There's a movie about this called "Sex Monster".
tanbark813 Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 My best work friend is a gay female. She says mostly when it's the woman pursuing the threesome that she's more interested in the female and the man just kinda get's left out in the cold. There's a movie about this called "Sex Monster". This also describes the situation with Ross's first wife in Friends.
Mr. Lucky Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 There's a movie about this called "Sex Monster". That was the best title they could come up with? I would reiterate my point that when you have a child involved, there is (or should be) a different basis for making these kinds of lifestyle decisions. Hopefully, Baltagi is keeping that it mind. His statement shouldn't be "as any normal guy would say", but rather "as any normal Father would say"... Mr. Lucky
stillafool Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 I'm thinking your wife doesn't want to have sex with you anymore and is giving you permission to sleep with someone else. She probably loves you but not in a sexual way. Any woman who suggests bringing in another woman for you doesn't love you the way she should. I would be upset if my husband wanted to bring another man in to help him out sexually. I think she wants the other wife not just for your needs but for hers as well.
Mz. Pixie Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 This also describes the situation with Ross's first wife in Friends. I forgot about that TB!!!!
Guest Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 actually i don't want anyone watching, filming, joining, taping, recording, painting my private time with my passionflower that is just ours
Guest Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 Speaking from experience, no matter how interesting it sounds, there is NO way that a threesome is going to work. My husband and I tried it, I got jealous when he paid more attention to her, he got jealous when I paid more attention to her too... Over time, I have realized that all we were doing was trying to find alternate ways to feel good about ourselves, without cheating (well...without partners consent) we wanted that new, butterfly feeling. It was great for two months (threesome) then it just got too strange.. I think the fantasizing about it before it all happened was way better than the actual "Threesome" dont get me wrong, the sex was AMAZING..but no matter what, there is always a third wheel, and I think everyone in the threesome feels like they are the third wheel..
RecordProducer Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 You are not enough for her and she wants to have sex with other women. That's why she encourages YOU to do the same. Read her lips: SHE IS A LESBIAN. Of course, she wants to have sex with other women.
alphamale Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 Read her lips: SHE IS A LESBIAN. Of course, she wants to have sex with other women. agreed...
StayClose Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 dont get me wrong, the sex was AMAZING..l.. For me, this one phrase negated everything else you said. It's been a long time since I've had sex I would describe as "AMAZING."
RecordProducer Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 For me, this one phrase negated everything else you said. It's been a long time since I've had sex I would describe as "AMAZING." I didn't know he was talking about YOU!
Topper Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Mariage de Trois, Works for some sucks for others. In many cultures polygamy is very much alive and well and very excepted. It is more then in Arab and Islamic cultures. So don't go to the subjugation of woman argument. In some Tribal cultures it is the woman who is in charge and she gets to have the say on who the new wife will be, or if there will even be a 2nd wife. I have Friend he was born and raised in Africa. his father is an Oxford educated Man with 57 wives! his father isa tribal leader a politician and a Medical Dr. My friend does not practise polygamy. he sees nothing wrong with it, says his childhood was very loving tons of brothers and sisters and more motherly then we could imagine. He has one wife and is very happy with just one loving wife. We in the Western world, We have been passed down Christian effects and morals. In other cultures they have a diffrent value system. In many polynesian societies Plural marriage was the norm. they had long lasting happy relationships for thousands of years. They had no idea they were sinning untill Christians told then they were. In our present culture it may not work. Moralist try very hard to make sure it won't.
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