Why is life trying to throw everything at me?

[bella_girl]

Wow its been such an emotional time for me.. I feel like life is throwing everything it can at me at the moment to see if I'll crack.

 

My grandfather passed away last week, having been ill with cancer for around a month. I'm ok, I'm adjusted to this and though sad I'm happy that at least I got to see him when he was alive and spend quality time with him.

 

However on the same day that he died I had a job interview (a telephone interview). I had to put everything out of my mind for a few hours to be able to cope. The interview went ok, haven't heard yet and not sure I would accept the job. It was pretty stressful.

 

And then today my ex BF called... sheesh... I haven't spoken to him since July when I went NC. and in Sept I heard he had a new GF. He rang to tell me he's got a new job! I'm like 'congratulations'. We had a nice chat but my heart jumped straight into my mouth. I'd been thinking about calling him because I wanted support when my grandfather was ill, but thought 'no best to be strong enough by yourself.'

 

What I really wanted to say to him 'why wouldn't you come and meet him?' I told you my grandfather was important to me but you said there was enough time, which I said there wasn't... and well I was right and now you'll never meet him, and I feel like no significant BF in my life has been bothered to meet the people important to me.

 

And in amongst all that why do I feel these feelings for you, my heart racing etc when you've hurt me so much. And seriously I don't want you back but why does my head continue to entertain these thoughts.

 

He followed up this phone call with an email which I responded to politely and told him all the things i've achieved lately (and nothing from those 2 paragraphs above). Though it made me realise that it still too early to recommence contact with him. Not healed yet.

 

Geee - life can I please have a break now? I'm not coping so good and you keep throwing everything at me at once.

 

This was more a rant but any support will be gratefully accepted!!! Bella

[2020vision]

I know exactly how you feel. My dad passed away about a month ago, I got really sick, then my dog broke her leg. I have found myself asking lately, when will it stop?

 

This guy sounds extremley selfish. It sounds like he was just calling you to toot his own horn. Congratulations for not talking to him since July. Unfortunately, you accepted his call and email. But, now you know better. Just a minor set back.

 

I am very sorry to hear about your grandfather by the way..I wish you and your family well.

 

-2020

[quankanne]

bella, I'm truly sorry for your grandpa's loss, especially now with the holidays looming. My mother died three years ago this month ... right smack in the middle of our busy period at work, so between the stress of getting work done, driving across the state 2-3 times a month, dealing with my MiL also dying AND putting up with family drama, I felt like I was losing it because it was all just too much at once.

 

not sure if we're more hypersensitive at times like these, and things that would be otherwise handled without a blink of an eye suddenly grow to soap opera proportion, or if they actually do ... either way, it's a crappy feeling when those little compartments you keep work and family and love life and past times in lose their structure and start intruding on each other.

 

best I can advise is to just take it one step at a time, one day at a time. If you need to scream at the top of your voice or just have a free-for-all bawling session, do it: that's your safety valve for all this stress.

 

it gradually gets back to normal, even when it seems like it won't!

 

hugs,

quank

[blind_otter]

I know how you feel. My Dad passed away 2 months ago, I started freelance writing and started a new day job, and I've been dealing with a lot of crap in therapy and have been trying to get my finances in order. I feel like life is just weighing me down a lot and I feel liek I'm trying to walk through jello sometimes. It's so much pressure.

 

I think grief can make all the other things you would normally do OK with, overwhelming. So go easy on yourself. It is true, when it rains, it pours....

 

Anyways, forget about the ex. He does sound selfish and you really don't need toxic people in your life right now.

[Sassy]

Sorry to hear about your grandfather Bella! I know life can throw us curves just like when I miscarried 4 weeks and 3 days ago. It sucks I was going into my third month . The baby stopped growing. I lost my dad when i was 10 Blind sorry to hear about you losing yours. Losing a parent or child can be hard! God never gives us what we can't handle I have to keep reminding myself that everyday.

[CaliGuy]

Hey, I've been there. Lost my mom and my girlfriend within a span of two weeks, then crashed twice at the track, my business isn't doing as well as it was last year, I am still single and well, life has sucked basically from the end of 2005 to now.

 

However, I am NOT going to let the bad things that happen in my life rule me. I will make the best of what I have and am not going to let what happens to me dictate my happiness.

 

Life is truly what you make of it.

[D-Lish]

Just remember to worry about the things YOU CAN control- and not the things you can't. We can't control a lot of things that are thrown at us...and we certainly can't control our feelings. But we can control how we choose to react.

 

Muddling through the shi*ty times really does make us stronger in the long run.

 

It sucks to have everything thrown at you at once.

This forum, you're friends and family are all tools available to you to help you to make it through this hard time.

 

Vent away- we're here to listen!

D

[Teacher's Pet]

Thanks to a close friend of mine, I fully believe in karma.

 

If you can endure so much hardship and pain at once, a reward HAS to be around the corner.

 

Have faith that things will improve when you least expect it!

 

I once lost a gf of 5 1/2 years (and when we were together, we lost a child), AND a high paying job within 12 hours of each other. I felt like it was all over for me.

 

A week later I landed my first TV gig.

 

It happens.

 

This year I lost a fiance (if that's what I want to think of B as at this point), and almost lost a friend in a tragic automobile accident (he's now paralyzed from the waist down). My mother's best friend has been diagnosed with a form of skin cancer, and one of my cats is in very poor health. To top it all off, I missed out on an almost-certain promotion this year because I took a few days off from work following my breakup to TRY to get my head together, and in that time, they picked someone else for the position. And in a week from now, I have to be tested for glaucoma. I like being able to see. Keeps me from hooking up with the ugly chicks. lol

 

I'm sticking to my guns and saying something good is coming my way soon. Do I know what it is? A new love? Money? Success? I have no idea, except that I know I'm overdue for a turn of events, so to speak.

 

Positive thinking breeds positive results. And this is coming from someone who is mulling over the fact that his breakup was 6 months ago TODAY.

 

Hang in there, things usually get easier after the holidays. LoveShack is all about support... it's here.

 

-tp

mr. optimist.

[bella_girl]

Hi guys, thanks thanks so much...

 

Wow you've all been through so much, I'm really sorry for everyone that has lost someone, parents, children, miscarriages - I can't EVEN imagine how I would cope with these things, they are all so huge. My parents are incredibly important to me and when I think about how my Dad must be feeling at the moment having lost his father gee its tough and that scares me, makes me feel pretty mortal. So I wish each you all the love and support in the world to know that you will be ok.

 

I think everyone is right, it doesn't rain, it pours. You have certainly made me realise that everyone else is going through a lot of stuff too and perhaps I'm a little pre-occupied with me!

 

Thanks for the support, I feel much better today, don't worry about contact with the ex (and I'm glad everyone thinks he is selfish) all that yesterday reminded me why I DON'T want to be with him.

 

Plus there are LOADS of good things going on in my life too, like Christmas parties with good friends and having friends around to support me at the moment. D-Lish and Teachers Pet - I think you're right, control what you can, think positive and good things will happen.

 

many thanks Bella.

[CaliGuy]

If Karma is real, I'm due for some GOOD karma soon. This year has literally been full of bad luck for me.

[Sassy]

If Karma is real, I'm due for some GOOD karma soon. This year has literally been full of bad luck for me.

 

Me too Caliguy!!