No Contact, it does work!!

[Lostandfound]

I have had a relationship with a beautiful lady of a different nationality, who for the first 5 months of the relationship claimed I was the best man she had met in every way, her children loved me, and I loved her and her children with all my heart, but something was missing, or should I say something was there but i hadnt spotted it.

I visited her in her hometown on several ocassions, and spent some fantastic times with her and her children.

Then out of the blue in September, after spending the whole summer togther, she said she needed space, and time as she had used so much energy in the realtionship, that work had suffered and that this was causing her financial problems.

She effectively ended it, but could not let go, nor could I, we tried NC, but lasted for the mnost a week, where she would contact me, or me her, and would talk or text about things.

Then one night about 3 months later it happened, she contacted me as she was having a difficult time work wise, and asked if i did not mind, I told her i did not mind (maybe the wrong thing in hindsight) and that I am always here for her which is what friends are always there for. She replied FRIENDS ONLY.

Of coure i tiold her that this is what she wanted, and what i want, and whenever she wants more to let me know, she immedaitely replied, I want more.

To cut a long post short, we met, and agreed to try again, but not where the relationship became overpowering for either of us, one where we could spend quality time with each other, and enjoy and build for the future.

Suffice to say this never happened, on her part, as she never met me again as agreed.

Today she has sent me a message to say she is thinking of me, and this is the key, At this moment we can nothing more than friends, she has no feelings of love for me At this moment .

To most people this would mean , a slow let down, or that there is a glimmer of hope in the future.

Well to me it tells me one thing, that breaking the NC rule is the worst thing that can ever happen, do not break it.

Had we kept the NC going, we would be togther by now, I know it, but when each ex knows too much of what is going on in the other ones life, it never works, keep the intrigue going, and in time, there will be curiosity, and desire from the who ended it. Its a law of emotion and desire.

I now have not responded to the message as she would expect me to reply with why, maybes, etc, but i will not react.

She obviously has a different agenda right now, but this will not last.

So please when someone suggests NC , DO IT, and you may be pleasantly surprised, for me this is not dead in the water, just the begining of the next phase of this relationship, In the meantime I get on with my life, and let natural karma take its course, because it will

[jusified]

I'm not contacting my ex not because i want to get back with her. I'm doing it because its over. I need to move on with life.

 

I think thats more important then some hope that not contacting will get an ex back. They are an Ex for a reason, life present many chances and there are plenty of genuine and nice people out there for you if you are genuine and nice.

[Lostandfound]

As an add to the above post, i received a message from this lady at 240am saying she had no feelings of love AT THIS MOMENT, and i have not replied, since then i have receieved 3 more messages from her, more today than in 3 or 4 weeks, the first saying thank you for the chrsitmas cards and pressnts that you have sent they are beautiful and i feel much for you, and secondly as i did not reply, "Well is everything ok" ???

And now getting a little agitated

 

This is exactly why NC works, it gets the intrigue and curiosity going, and i believe this will not be the last time i receive messages today.

 

I am not playing games with her, far from it, I want her to miss me for the person i really am, and she will

[Guest]

my 2 cents - i hope this helps. nc does work. it helped me and i hope it have helped her as well and even though my ex never told me why she broke off with me and has been in NC since 1988 [lol] i believe it is because:

 

1. at the time, she had lost her identity, who she was [not co-depend], see she lived in my house, i paid the bills, she really didn't get a chance to relax after the move - so it was like she was still in limbo because if she wanted to paint the cabinet, she felt she needed to ask me - so in a sense my care robbed her of her sense of self.

 

2. i got depressed and addicted and frightened the heck out of her and she believed i would never get better after she did all she could

3. she came out of a 10 year relastionship - hookup up with me without a real break - so she needed space

 

4. she is a single mom, was going to university, juggling jobs and a new love

 

5. she has health issues as does her daughter

 

6. i held her to close and also made her anxious

 

7. not enuff hummina hummina

 

so, while i would love to be with her - she needs, as i did, time to work out the kinks - whatever happens down the road - no one knows

 

she knows i care and love her and wish her happiness in whatever she does and that i cherish the time we had and hope she follows her dreams