Would you be offended or flattered by this statement?

[Sand&Water]

Question: Would you be offended or flattered if a guy told you, you remind him of his first love?

 

That's what happened to me!

 

A friend said that I remind him of his first love [he was deeply in love with her]. The similarities in how I talk, interact with others/him. The way I express my thoughts, personal aura, and overall personality.

 

I thought to myself: "Wow! No. Do not compare me to another woman!"

 

I do not like to be matched, and associated with another woman -past love or not. I found it offensive, and disturbing in nature.

 

Why did he say that to me?

 

P.S. This is NOT about dating.

 

Sand&Water

[Porn_Guy]

first loves are usually special and seen in a positive light. if this is the case then take it as a compliment.

[Walk]

I understand where you're coming from by not wanting to be compared with another woman... but at the same time, I think he meant it as a compliment. Unless he said "You remind me of my first love, the bitch". haha

 

He probably spoke without thinking. One of those knee jerk reactions to something that strikes you, and it popped out of his mouth before his brain censored it. I think, if I were you, I'd take it as an opportunity to either learn more about his past, or to make your mark as an individual who is definitely NOT his first love. You could just tell him that you're flattered he thinks that way, but you aren't his old gf and you'd like to be seen for you, not as the ghost of some one else.

 

Unless you really don't like him... if that's the case, then just ditch him. I'd be worried he would compare me forever to some overblown memory of a person who was no longer in his life. And that's just setting yourself up for failure. No one can compare favorable to a idolized image of a past love. But it may have been that it just occured to him why certain things about you seemed familiar, and in the spark of recognition his mouth flew open and the thought came out.

 

If you like him, ask him.

[Buttaflyy]

I'd take it in stride. It was probably a compliment because he did at one time deeply love this person. And the more I think about it, I don't think it's him necessarily comparing you two, he said you reminded him of her because you have similar traits. At least it was someone he cared about and not someone he hated:p .

[blind_otter]

I believe he meant it as a compliment. A clumsy attempt at flattery.

[StayClose]

If he mentions it once and rarely talks about his first love after that, it's OK. Maybe you and she do look a little alike or like the same movies.

 

But if he constantly talking about her, then he's trying to find the other woman again through you. This is a BAD sign.

[whichwayisup]

I think he's meaning it in a good way, otherwise why would he mention it? Remember, men don't (most anyway that I know) purposely go out of their way to say insensitive things...He felt it (meaning, how great it is that you remind him of his first love) and said it outloud. Not too sure if there is any hidden meaning behind his words...Hope that makes sense.

[CaliGuy]

I'd take it as a compliment since that person is comparing you favorably to someone they deeply loved. It's only a negative if they are still hung up on their first love, at least IMHO.