need advise

[mlmm]

hi:

I was in my relationship for 2 years an the 30th of november my bf broke up with me so as expected i sank in depression in my desperation i called him and texted him and each time he said he loved me and that he missed me allot so i felt some hope that we were going to be together so as i had lost him i had nothing else to loose so i called him and asked him if we would be together in some point and he said he didnt know so i started dealing with it 2 hours later i received a text message saying that he missed me, yesterday i received another one saying "good night you are an amazing person, lots of kissies ( our waY of sending kisses when we were together) so i decided to answer him an he didnt replaid.

he still has a picture of us two in his msn

so i dont know what to think!

does someone have any idea?

i will really apreciatte it

[Guest]

i have no idea as well. that is extremely confusing. sorry u are going thru this.

[D-Lish]

It sounds like you are getting a whole host of mixed signals here.

 

You may not want to hear this, but in order for him to figure out what he wants, you should give him space. No calling or texting or pressuring him about your relationship. This means no contact for a while.

 

You have to be noticeably absent from his life for him to miss you. Many people make the mistake of thinking they have to remain high profile in their ex's life in order to make them realize the mistake they have made. But the opposite is actually true. Being absent, having them see you moving on with your life is the best way to make them want you back.

 

If he's on the fence about what he wants, then backing off and giving him space is the best way to get him thinking. So start pulling away from him. Do things for yourself. Take this to work on the things you need to do in order to make yourself a better partner.

 

Remember, no pressure- it may push him away.

D

[Guest]

I agree with Dlish. If he texts you ignore until he is saying what you want to hear. I assume you want him back - if so his current text messages are just to make himself feel better about the break up. It does nothing to help you.

 

So ignore until he texts or rings with something sensible to say which makes it clear that he misses you AND wants to work on your relationship

[mlmm]

i really appreciatte the 3 comments they have really helped me see that if he really did love me he would be with me.

In that way i wont expect anything so maybe he will come back maybe he wont but i will try to keep moving on cause it really hurts

thank you to everyone if someone has any more comments i would love to hear them

[D-Lish]

I just think maybe he needs some space to figure out what he wants.

He's obviously a little confused- and the best way for YOU to handle this is to just work on yourself.

 

That's all I'm saying.

 

I can tell you're hurting. But it doesn't sound as if things are lost- only that things are up in the air right now.

 

The best way for you to handle things is to give him a little space and give him the opportunity to miss you.

 

:-)

D

[Double D]

You could always try to be brave and ask him what the heck is going on.

 

Does he love you and if so why doesnt he want to be with you. Communicate with him. Let him know how your feeling about it and then at least you know you did all you can then it be on him to sort himself out.

 

Wish you well!

[mlmm]

hi everyone thanks for the comments i started for complete using NC and it only went one day and he texted me : hi! how are you?! when are u leaving for christmas?

so i answered hi a little flu but ok u?

he answered hope u get well soon and i will surely see u before u leave

 

i am shocked

then a was at msn my status was offline he came online and never changed the picture he had of us and he asked one of my best friends that if she knew if i was at home she said surely yes. i never went online

but nothing happened he didnt call nor came this is really confusing what do u think?

thanks

[Virtual Mike]

I know just how it is, my ex-girlfriend is doing the same thing to me. Its sorta crazy, but your story is almost exactly the same as mine. Only advice I can give you is make yourself busy all the time and try to forget this person.(****ty dude advice;)

[Trialbyfire]

Yes, space is necessary. Let him come after you until you're convinced that he's serious this time. Be careful of the kind of guy who only wants you back for ego's sake.

[Guest]

its those early step periods - happens all the time PLUS remember what u already went thru, what's on yer plate, probably a ton of stuff - just chillax and give reassurance when needed - like hey, take some time,relax - focus on something less stressful for a bit [like me in your bed - lol] and things will be fine no matter what

[BlueEyedSarah]

hi:

I was in my relationship for 2 years an the 30th of november my bf broke up with me so as expected i sank in depression in my desperation i called him and texted him and each time he said he loved me and that he missed me allot so i felt some hope that we were going to be together so as i had lost him i had nothing else to loose so i called him and asked him if we would be together in some point and he said he didnt know so i started dealing with it 2 hours later i received a text message saying that he missed me, yesterday i received another one saying "good night you are an amazing person, lots of kissies ( our waY of sending kisses when we were together) so i decided to answer him an he didnt replaid.

he still has a picture of us two in his msn

so i dont know what to think!

does someone have any idea?

i will really apreciatte it

Have no connection with the guy, don't text, don't talk to him on MSN, don't reply to he's emails, don't pick up phone when he rings, let him wonder where you are.

[mlmm]

something really unexpected happened i was asleep at 330 am and my cell rang it was him he asked me if i wanted to get back with him i said yes an he said forget about me we are never going to be back

so i called him back in shock an asked what happened and he said it was all in my mail so i went to my mail an saw that there was a mail of my friend saying i should get out drink and get casual sex but those were her advise

so i explained to him that those were her advises and that i hadnt written that mail

in the past i once kissed i guy i told him about it and we worked it out

but yesterday he said that he didnt believe anything i said

i mean its not fair at the end of the conversation i told him that he could give me the oportunity to proove everything he said yes several times

so i called him this morning as i had obtained the opportunity and i asked him if we could do something to start things right as we said

and he said do what right? and i told him and he said he just said that to finish yesterday conversation and that he didnt want to get back with me

its not fair that because of that mail i didnt even right he changed the chances i had yesterday when he was going to come to bring me a gifdt and to tell me what i wanted!!!

 

what do i do¿?

[Guest]

Sorry but I think he is just playing with your head. He throws you crumbs and you fall for it each time. I don't think he means to be cruel but you are helping his ego to feel good with your actions and it leaves you feeling completely confused and slowly lowers your self esteem.

 

Please dont respond when he contacts you. Or if you cant resist contacting him give yourself a date eg 1 week before you will reply to any contact from him. Use the time instead for yourself.

 

You need time to digest what is going on and to decide what you really want. Yes you want him back but you should try and consider on what basis. Not at any price!

[mlmm]

i wont contact him cause as he said he doesnt want to be back with me but it is not fair that for something i didnt do he is deciding this i mean i was so near to being back with him and all the sudden everything changed dramatically

i really love him.

do u really think he will contact me after this

i dont know

[guin_girl]

Wow, I know you are hurting, but I would be so unbelievably upset that he just went through my email... That is so inexcusable to me, a lack of trust and respect. And then on top of that to call me up and lambaste me about it at 3AM? When he knew you were sick with the flu?

 

I wouldn't want someone back like that. I know I'm not in your shoes, but I hope that you take time for yourself with NC and find out what YOU really want without him around. It's the worst time at the holidays, boy do I know!!, but take care of yourself first.

[BlueEyedSarah]

something really unexpected happened i was asleep at 330 am and my cell rang it was him he asked me if i wanted to get back with him i said yes an he said forget about me we are never going to be back

so i called him back in shock an asked what happened and he said it was all in my mail so i went to my mail an saw that there was a mail of my friend saying i should get out drink and get casual sex but those were her advise

so i explained to him that those were her advises and that i hadnt written that mail

in the past i once kissed i guy i told him about it and we worked it out

but yesterday he said that he didnt believe anything i said

i mean its not fair at the end of the conversation i told him that he could give me the oportunity to proove everything he said yes several times

so i called him this morning as i had obtained the opportunity and i asked him if we could do something to start things right as we said

and he said do what right? and i told him and he said he just said that to finish yesterday conversation and that he didnt want to get back with me

its not fair that because of that mail i didnt even right he changed the chances i had yesterday when he was going to come to bring me a gifdt and to tell me what i wanted!!!

 

what do i do¿?

What a selfish guy to be ringing you at 3am, when you say you have flu, to accuse you of something you did not do. He is insecure and jealous. He clearly has no trust for you. change your passwords until he learns how to trust you, if he can't then he isn't worth it!

Though reading this post he does not sound like a guy to be wasting your love on.

[mlmm]

hi happy new year to all here is the updated info

after the morning call i received one at 630 it was him asking if there was anyone at my place i said i didnt think so so he said he wanted to give me back a sweatshirt and a phone number, i told him he could throw them over the fence we hang up and 5 sec later he sent a text messg saying that "he could see that i didnt care about getting the christmas hug that we said" i was shocked we never said anything about a christmas hug so well i came home and he arrived at 9 he apologized about the things he said that morning and the night before that he loved me and that this 2 years were the best of hes life and that i knew what he felt for me. he finished and he left.

i recieved a text at 11 saying i luv u like crazy.

next day was 22 and i was leaving the 23rd to mexico so the 22nd i went out for supper with my friends he sent me a texto saying dont leave i called him when i came back we talked very well he told me he was never going to let me go and that he never even thought about it

so i left we sent textos ocassionally the 24 he called me and said he was sad he missed me and loved me and so on we kept texting until the 30 that he sended a texto saying"i know that everyone has tried to brainwash you " so i called him to find out what was al that about i cleares it up an 30 min later he called me saying that he wanted to hear my voice we talked he told me the usual that he loved me, he missed me an that he was confused because of me . on new year i sent him a texto saying "make a wish it is never late" and he said something like "yes, we have to make our best to wish the best i hate not being with u cause ive spent the best time of my life with u, happy year i love you!

so i got no clue about anything any orientation?

thanks

[mlmm]

please someone i need orientation please!!!!