my boyfriend said he needs more excitement in bed

[Lauriebell82]

i have been with my boyfriend for 5 months and the other night we were talking and he said that things in bed are real good but he would like things to be more exciting. now i'm not the adventurous type and i'm not into all that kinky types of sex. we try different positions but i guess they are the same things over and over again. we still have real great sex but what can i do to "excite" him more? have any other girls had this problem? any guys insight would be great too cause i'm a little confused here, because i've never had a guy tell mem this before. thanks!

[kbah]

Ask him what excites him...and then try it out. Trying anything once doesn't hurt but just make sure it's safe and it is not going against your wishes or feelings or anything.

 

Do you feel that you are enthusiatic when you have sex? Meaning, does he always have to initiate the moment or are you "dying to get his clothes off" occasionally?

 

Maybe this is the excitement he speaks of....

[Guest]

YUP....there is nothing better than just knowing your lover craves you - nothing else is needed.

[Walk]

i'm not the adventurous type and i'm not into all that kinky types of sex

 

Unless you found a closet full of whips and chains in your bf's bedroom, then I don't think you'd have to get very "kinky" or adventurous to spice up sex.

 

I can't stress enough to you how important your mindset is regarding sex. Portraying the idea of the 'up for anything', wild in bed gf will get you further than not doing anything. In my experience, the majority of men don't actually want to do the "kinky" stuff, but they want the idea of being able to do it. That their gf wouldn't limit their sexual desires because she's locked into a vague belief that "good girls" don't do that stuff. Show him that you WANT to bring new elements into your sex life. That will do more toward making him a happy little clam then anything else you could ever do.

 

All right.. Ideas:

 

Talk dirty to him before and during sex. Doesn't even have to be very dirty. You could describe what you want to do to him, or how it feels when he does X thing to you, or talk him through exactly what you are feeling at that moment. Even something so simple as saying how you love the feel of his hand on your breast, or how wet you get thinking about (whatever sexual thing turns you on) with him.. Read some erotic literature for ideas, then adapt them to fit. Go out side your comfort level as much as you can. The more you push the comfort level on this, the more normal it seems to talk like that. I know I had an extremely hard time being vocal regarding sex. A lot of trial and error on my part, and my bf's promise that he wouldn't judge me for sounding stupid when I tried to talk dirty.

 

Initiate sex with him. If you don't normally do this, than this will really excite him. Instead of waiting for him to "get in the mood", create the mood. Then take his hand and lead him to the bedroom where you continue to take the lead in what you two are going to do in there. Dominate him, but in a gentle way. Like tell him: "Get on your back, I'm gonna ride you til I come.." blah blah.. You get the jist... say whatever you want him to do.

 

Initiate sex in new places. I'm not talking about exhibitionism, but if you don't have roommates, then next time things are getting hot and heavy lead him into the kitchen, bend over the counter, drop your panties and wiggle your ass. (If you do have roommates, then wait til you know they'll be gone for a couple hours and try it.)

 

Talk to your bf about what things turn him on most, what his fantasies are, what he'd like to try or do. Some things can be re-created in a less uncomfortable way with a little creativity and forethought. Like.. if his idea of exciting is to tie you up, then suggest he use his hands to hold your wrists instead. You have to understand the underlying desire beneath the act. In a situation like that, he basically wants the fantasy of being able to selfishly meet his sexual desires without caring how you feel. So re-create that idea in a way that would allow you to be comfortable with the situation, yet still creates the idea of what he wanted.

 

You can basically take that idea and use it for all areas of your sex life. If he's an ass guy, and you really don't want to ever try anal, then you can still create the idea of him having anal through words and some suggestive actions. The trick is to understand what about the act causes excitment in him. Most guys like anal because it's lodged in their brain that it's naughty. I'm sure it also feels good to a guy, but it's more then just the way it feels. So play off what creates the excitment. You can do a lot of things without ever having to actually have anal sex with him. Verbally walk him through a fantasy of anal sex with you.

 

Last suggestion.. If you aren't normally the type to be spontaneously sexual, then do so on occasion. (I'm still assuming you don't have roommates) If you two are sitting on the couch, then say something about being hot, take your shirt off and start fondling yourself, or rubbing yourself. Something completely out of character for what you would normally feel comfortable doing. Turn around on the couch and bend over the back of it, pull your pants down seductively and suggest how he could help you. He'll think he died and went to heaven.

 

These are things that are probably otuside some people's comfort level, but aren't going to cause you to cross any boundaries for mental/physical safety. You might be scared of rejection, but a little rejection never killed anyone. If you aren't up for a golden tea bag, then fine.. I'm not either. But there are a million ways to spice things up without having to be hurt or completely grossed out.

[ddnnee]

try this new sexual position. its called "the with-holder".

 

what you do is you with hold sex from him for 2 weeks. After two weeks, give him sex and ask him if it was exciting.