blueyes77 Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 I just wanted to know can a married man really love a another woman I know yall are wondering why I ask but I told him last week that we needed to talk about some things but we didnt cause things came up with me and I couldnt go so anyways he calls about 30 minutes ago and says he just called to tell me he loves me i just cant beleive it i think he knows what i want to talk about what do yall think
noforgiveness Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Why would you be with him at all if you need to ask this question?
MuffinMan Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 I just wanted to know can a married man really love a another woman I know yall are wondering why I ask but I told him last week that we needed to talk about some things but we didnt cause things came up with me and I couldnt go so anyways he calls about 30 minutes ago and says he just called to tell me he loves me i just cant beleive it i think he knows what i want to talk about what do yall think There is no doubt that a married man can love another woman. Has he ever told you this before? If he is thinking you are going to break it off, he might be telling you this to keep you around. The only way to know is to look at his eyes when he tells you. You can see it in his eyes if he loves you.
frannie Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Well yes, a married man can love another woman. There are quite a few men on this board at the moment who have fallen in love with someone else while they were married. But like MuffinMan says... sometimes people say 'I love you' when they think they're going to lose you. I think the only real way of knowing is watching how they change... how they look at you differently, do things differently, talk to you in a new way... all indications of their changing feelings. But the most important part about loving someone is how you treat them... that's the bit that really makes a difference in life, even beyond feelings.
BenThereDunThat Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Very well put, Frannie. Mine told me he loved me in the middle of one of my freak-outs. Coincidence? Absolutely nothing changed as far as the dynamics of our "relationship." In fact, he'd use it as a mind tool more than anything. He didn't love me. He just wanted to make sure I stuck around longer. He wasn't done getting his fix.
bonehead Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Why would you be with him at all if you need to ask this question? I have to agree with this. I wouldnt have stuck around if i didnt feel she really loved me.
GreenEyedLady Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 I have to agree with this. I wouldnt have stuck around if i didnt feel she really loved me. Me too...what's the point if they don't love you?
anatus Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 I think it is possible to love more than one person, however there are different forms of love. He is married and he is not divorced. It could be because he loves his wife. Maybe he truly is in a situation he cannot get out of but let's be realistic. What man does not want best of both worlds? Unfortunately sometimes we (women) get ourselves into a situation and talk ourselves out of sense. I know because I have been there. This MM I was with had his cake and ate it too. I could not leave him to save my life... it seems he could not officially leave his wife to save his life. Long story short, he moved with me to another state. I moved to escape the pain and unfortunately the pain followed. Sometimes we love for the pleasure of loving... sometimes things are too painful to let go.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Love to a man is always understood as a relative term, as in what it is compared to. For example, a MM will love his W, his children, his job, his house, his friends, his car, etc. He will "love" the OW, but she is probably pretty far down on his list of "love". If he had to choose losing you or his car - my bet is he'd rather lose you. Why? You are free and disposable. If he loses his car, he'd have to buy a new one - and his W would give him hell for that especially if it weren't insured for the loss!! I am not a bitter OW or a BS. I speak with a newfound understanding of MMs. If they cheat on their W, they are cake eaters. It's really that simple. If you are special, he'd leave his W for you. He'd move mountains for you. Plain and simple. So how much "love" do you need from him?
bonehead Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 I am not a bitter OW or a BS. I speak with a newfound understanding of MMs. If they cheat on their W, they are cake eaters. It's really that simple. If you are special, he'd leave his W for you. He'd move mountains for you. Plain and simple. For starters, CAKE EATER is banned. Its emotional leech. I cheated. I wasnt a " cake eater "
frannie Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Love to a man is always understood as a relative term, as in what it is compared to. For example, a MM will love his W, his children, his job, his house, his friends, his car, etc. He will "love" the OW, but she is probably pretty far down on his list of "love". If he had to choose losing you or his car - my bet is he'd rather lose you. Why? You are free and disposable. If he loses his car, he'd have to buy a new one - and his W would give him hell for that especially if it weren't insured for the loss!! Does this include a man's 'love' for his W, or is it only OW who are 'loved' like pieces of machinery? Even if it's the latter you meant, you're simply generalising. There's a post below about this, from someone who was a MM. "I speak with a newfound understanding of MMs. If they cheat on their W, they are cake eaters. It's really that simple. If you are special, he'd leave his W for you. He'd move mountains for you. Plain and simple." Whether or not someone will leave their M doesn't depend simply on whether or not they love someone else. There is more to life than romantic love. Is it really fair or sensible to jeopardize or destroy one's family for the sake of being with another person one loves? In my opinion, no, it's not like that for everyone. That doesn't mean there is no real love for the OP. All this 'if he loved you he'd move mountains' sounds good... but the reality of life is often far more complicated than a romance novel.
frannie Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 For starters, CAKE EATER is banned. Its emotional leech. I cheated. I wasnt a " cake eater " I think it might take a while for it to sink in that there are some MM (or ex-MM in some cases!) on the forum now. All these generalisations may have to be revised in the light of posts from real live people who don't conform to convenient stereotypes
bonehead Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 I think it might take a while for it to sink in that there are some MM (or ex-MM in some cases!) on the forum now. All these generalisations may have to be revised in the light of posts from real live people who don't conform to convenient stereotypes Have my doubts. Im not being rude, but its a long held sterotype.
frannie Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Have my doubts. Im not being rude, but its a long held sterotype. Oh me too... it was just a forlorn hope
yousaveme Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 I have always been a firm believer in the eyes...Eyes tell everything. If I never believe he loved me I would have walked along time ago.. There is no doubt that a married man can love another woman. Has he ever told you this before? If he is thinking you are going to break it off, he might be telling you this to keep you around. The only way to know is to look at his eyes when he tells you. You can see it in his eyes if he loves you.
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