noforgiveness Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Are the holidays a big deciding factor or the OW and the married man. Is it typical to see many marriages and many other women relationships breakup this time of year? I wasn't here last year. Is the new year a new starting point for everyone whether it be time to end your affair or time forthe married man to step up to the plate and make a choice? Just seeing a lot of heartache right now.
yousaveme Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Dont know I wasnt here last year...I know the holidays can be very depressing time of year.
will2power Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 I think there's broken hearts year round. I think its just harder on the OW/MM or OM/MW relationships as OW/OM yearns for the unavailable MM/MW. Just because OW and OM knows that those are the rules going in, doesn't mean that its easy. Mine is now fully separated from W. Its hard for sMM because its the first x'mas ever without the kids. He'll see them x'mas morning but they won't spend the day together. That's hard for him. Hopefully he and I will spend the day doing something nice together and start a new routine.
MuffinMan Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 I think there's broken hearts year round. I think its just harder on the OW/MM or OM/MW relationships as OW/OM yearns for the unavailable MM/MW. Just because OW and OM knows that those are the rules going in, doesn't mean that its easy. Mine is now fully separated from W. Its hard for sMM because its the first x'mas ever without the kids. He'll see them x'mas morning but they won't spend the day together. That's hard for him. Hopefully he and I will spend the day doing something nice together and start a new routine. I hope you get to spend the day with him. If so, remember he is going through a very hard time right now. I would give anything to get to spend the day with the MW I'm in love with. The holidays have been very hard, especially since this is the time she decided NC is the best for both of us. It's a very lonely time right now.
bonehead Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Are the holidays a big deciding factor or the OW and the married man. Is it typical to see many marriages and many other women relationships breakup this time of year? I wasn't here last year. Is the new year a new starting point for everyone whether it be time to end your affair or time forthe married man to step up to the plate and make a choice? Just seeing a lot of heartache right now. I can tell you suicides go up this time of year. But I do think holidays are a big factor in alot of relationships. Stay togeather till after the holidays or wish we were togeather for the holidays or as I said last you THIS IS THE LAST HOLIDAY I SPEND WAITIN GON YOU!
NoIDidn't Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Yeah, its a pattern. But its one that plays out in lots of relationships. When you are in a relatively healthy R, you don't see all the Christmas Season blues that less healthy Rs have. It seems that a lot of MM put the OW on the back burner during the holidays to play the doting father/faithful H role. Some outright breakup with the OW/OM during this season, so not to have to think about it. And then go running back with the "reel 'em in" stories of how much they missed them and can't live without 'em. Pretty predictable. This is NOT unique to MW/MM though. I experienced this with a non-MM. I tell you, what some people will do to avoid buying a Christmas present!!
frannie Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 The statistics say that Christmas is a big time for the ending of relationships... all that having to be together and pretend to be happy with people you would prefer to strangle with the tinsel As far as the OW/OM situation... yes, last year was particularly stressful for me, and soon afterwards I was giving ultimatums about 'no more Christmases'... This year (yes... we're back together again *appropriate smiley*) its very different... every now and then he'll say something about it being his last Christmas with them. Of course I have mixed emotions about that... but I'm feeling far less selfish about him than I was last year. It's a hard, basically, being apart from someone you love at Christmas, and it's hard to be with people you're supposed to love but really feel very little for.
anatus Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 Holidays are stressful so when situations arise during the holidays that happen all year round (like break ups), people seem to take it harder because it is the holidays. I have spent two previous holidays without my MM because he had his family. This year, I would have preferred to be without him. I don't know if I am conditioned to just expect him to flee or have come to the realization that I will be fine with or without him whether it's July 14th or Christmas Day.
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