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I have been wondering this...


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Posted

Hi, I have a good boyfriend, in a lot of ways. I was watching a tv special on abuse and such. I was wondering what are the indicators if something could develop into physical abuse....for instance, sometimes, if i playfully slap my boyfriend, he'll slap me back. (he only does this when I slap him, not out of the blue) or sometimes he'll for fun just randomly take me and squeeze me...a lil too hard. stuff that is passed off as a joke. should i be worried? he seems to be joking, but ya know, i just wondered bc ...like i think under no circumstances should u hit a girl, even if its not a hard hit....

Posted

Don't slap someone if you don't want it returned.

Posted

what about..the random hard squeezing?

 

one time he put a pillow over my face but not for long..like when i told him to stop, he stopped, but it was so random.

Posted

Are there signs of emotional abuse as well? Any real signs of physical abuse which might escalate?! There's not much here to me initially. Perhaps he was play fighting? Sometimes men don't know their own stregth!

 

The other day my SO squeezed me tight in a hug and we heard my back crack!!! :eek: He was like... oppps!! :laugh: He didn't mean to do it, just an excited bear hug! (It didn't hurt at all TBH!)

 

Trouble is that sometimes watching things like that can be suggestive and make us start looking for something that simply isn't there!

 

Are there really any honest signs of a problem?

 

And I agree with Tan. If you don't want a slap back, then don't slap him in the first place!!! :rolleyes:

Posted
Are there signs of emotional abuse as well? Any real signs of physical abuse which might escalate?! There's not much here to me initially. Perhaps he was play fighting? Sometimes men don't know their own stregth!

 

The other day my SO squeezed me tight in a hug and we heard my back crack!!! :eek: He was like... oppps!! :laugh: He didn't mean to do it, just an excited bear hug! (It didn't hurt at all TBH!)

 

Trouble is that sometimes watching things like that can be suggestive and make us start looking for something that simply isn't there!

 

Are there really any honest signs of a problem?

 

And I agree with Tan. If you don't want a slap back, then don't slap him in the first place!!! :rolleyes:

 

 

yaa, ur right. its all just play fighting. hehe. i should not have watched that show...as far as emotional abuse..he has a sarcastic sense of humor and pokes fun at me a lot..( and everyone else), but its pretty much his personality. eh, sometimes he says he disconnects and doesnt care about my feelings when i get on him about stuff he thinks is insignificant.(he does not think his jokes can be/are mean) like yesterday, i got all pmsy when he said my belief on something was funny, etc. little stuff. unless thats something to worry about.

Posted
what about..the random hard squeezing?

 

one time he put a pillow over my face but not for long..like when i told him to stop, he stopped, but it was so random.

Yes, random is the key. In a real abusive situation a 'cycle of abuse' will be present. Google it to find out more.

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