minipizza Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 hi my partner and i were living togetha n after a recent domestic violence incident i kicked him out and told him that he needed anger management therapy and had no self-control and needed to learn some and had to stop drinking. He is 26. We have been seeing each otha for nearly 2 years and have been to hell and back. I have a child from anotha relationship. I am also a night shift worker and he is a day worker. He rang and asked to talk recently and asked if we could date casually and see each otha to talk and i said yes. And before I knew it (my fault), he was staying at my house nearly every nite and coming into my house uninvited. I told him this had to stop and he got upset and ranted that i only wanted him around when i wanted stuff done etc etc. He has given up alcohol and is organising anger classes for himself. He also gets upset that I dont come to bed when he does and that i often stay up until 3am on computer or watching tv to unwind on my nights off. He says he misses me and that we dont spend enuff time togetha, yet all my awake time is spent with him. He had a tantrum tonite cos he woke up and i was getting out of bed and he asked what was wrong and i said (grumpily) that i couldnt sleep cos he was snoring in my ear all nite. He said he would go sleep in spare room and then 2 mins later he came out n packed his clothes up and said he was going and i said Fine. He stormed out and rang me when he got to his place and said he was sick of how i treated him? I dont think i have reinforced enuff boundaries and im just wondering if i subconsciously just want to see the back of him. He is demanding, sulky, has tantrums, is dependent on me, immature and is always complaining about lack of sex. Im far from perfect myself yet im wondering if im just holding onto him cos i dont want to be lonely. However, i think i have put up with enuff of his ****... any comments lol?
Annacabana Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 If anything, this relationship isn't healthy for your child to be growing up with. Your child should be more important than this guy who is violent and does not respect or love you. Move on and learn to be comfortable by yourself first, then you may be ready for a good relationship.
PandorasBox Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Its very unhealthy for you and your child both. He would have to proove to you he has changed, before you got back with him, with lots of anger management classes, and even then it might be to late. I wouldn't wait around on him to get his act together, he may and he may not. You need to do what you feel is best for you and your child. By you casually dating him, it sends him mixed messages that he feels its ok to be with you, and thats probably not the best right now.
nancyleeh Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 If you think you are keeping him in your life so your not lonely, you probably are and that is a sad reason to keep a destructive relationship going and in the end it will not fulfill you anyway. Better to be a little lonely till you find the right guy than have the wrong guy living with you just for company. You, he and especially your child deserve better. If for no other reason, do what is best for your child's interest and the rest will fall into place. nancyleeh
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