ratingsguy Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Here's a question for you guys and gals. If you got involved in a legitimate relationship (no MM or MW), would you tell that person about your past experiences with a MM or MW, or just keep it completely secret? I pride myself on being very honest and up front (plus I'm a terrible liar... lol), even about stupid stuff because in my expereince it builds trust. And trust is the solid foundation of any relationship. So what would you do?
oyster Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 I would give details if asked, I try not to talk about the past because I look at my potential future with new girlfriend. Things happen and most people will have hard time understanding Affair, Other Man/Other Woman, so what is important is what you take away from all your previous experience.
Sassy Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 I think in a relationship you should always be honest ! If you can't be open an honest it will never work. The truth always has a way of coming out .
frannie Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Oh yes, I'd tell them, if it came up and we were talking about past relationships, etc. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who couldn't accept me for who I am, warts and all.
norajane Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 My SO and I have been friends for years and years, so he's heard about my sordid past as it was happening (or was a part of it), and I am aware of his.
goodfriendeva Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 i wouldnt go into a new relationship telling lies.. and to me not saying anything would be a lie.. its better to be upfort about these things.. or theyll come back and bite you on the ass later.. if she wants to know more about it.. then tell her..
Guest Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Of Course I Would Tell Start Off Right With Honesty
directx Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 No never. Because that person will create an image in their mind that will not be accurate either way. Its none of their business unless you came away with an STD
JamesM Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 The biggest reason for telling is to erase the doubts and insecurities in your own mind. This eliminates the doubting thought of "What if he/she knew EVERYTHING about me? Would he/she still love me?" If you know that you have hidden nothing, you will feel more comfortable in believing that he or she truly loves you for who you are...not who you pretend to be. As Sassy and others have said, honesty and truth are important. If you hold back this part of your life, you will have to remember to always cover it. You may slip out a name or event and then have to explain it away. And the truth does have a way of coming out. This person from the past may reenter. Do you want to start a relationship with that person or do you want your new SO to know so that is a check point? If she or he doesn't know about this part of the past, you have much more freedom to pursue this person again. What if this person starts a job and works with your wife? Or he or she has a child at the same school as yours? Avoid the possibilities. Give your new SO an opportunity to make a decision regarding you after knowing ALL of the facts...BEFORE marriage.
cowgirl6 Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 JEEZ....You sound sooooo much like my MM. It depends on what type of relationship you have with her. Have you been honest from the start? DO you see this going anywhere? The way my MM and I see it is, we are all we have to be honest with because God knows we can't be honest about what we are doing....It's like a special kind of trust friendship...and who knows, that could be his game, which is to make me think "He prides himself in always being honest with me" but I would like to think that he really is honest with me....If I were your MW, I would want to hear everything...share your soul......however if she is not doing the same..b.e very carefull.. good luck
Double D Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 I have told a previous g/f but that was only after she asked about previous relationships and stuff. Be honest about it. The experience is part of who you are as a person and your other half should love you warts and all. Question people. If you were going to tell on your own accord how far into the relationship do you think is right?
Guest Posted December 21, 2006 Posted December 21, 2006 I make it a rule to never tell too much about my past. As far as my H is concerned, I was a virgin until I was with him. He knows I dated others, but I did not share the specifics. I do not want to know the details of his life before me ... all that counts is the life with me.
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