cecil brown Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 Maybe a strange question, but one I am trying to figure out. My ex was by no means a supermodel, but she just had "it". I have always had this immense physical attraction to her, and we had great sexual chemistry as well. I try to picture myself with new women, but I just can't see them measuring up to the ex. How do you overcome something like that?
notmakingsense Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 This was the toughest thing for me for the longest time.... My last gf and I just clicked so well on the passionate things... I just keep reminding myself that the best relationships have much more than just a sexual connection.... if you are young it is hard to think of things in this way, but when you get older, and the sex starts diminishing, you need so much more to carry the relationship: true friendship, sharing values, sharing interests, accepting eachother, respecting eachother, and so on. I also believe that there will always be more than one potential mate for you.... there a lot of fish in the sea. You don't need to settle for a woman who can't give you both the sexual and non-sexual connections that you deserve.
norajane Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 Keep reminding yourself that you will feel strong physical and sexual attraction for other women in the future. It won't feel exactly the same as with your ex - EVERY relationship is unique from every other relationshi - but it will be equally strong and compelling, just in a different way.
goodfriendeva Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 hmm.. idk remind yourself why she is your ex.. all kidding aside.. i think your putting too much into all your dates.. take it slowly think of the now and not in the future.. get to know the girls.. im sure youll find someone else who is meant to be
Author cecil brown Posted December 17, 2006 Author Posted December 17, 2006 I know a relationship cannot be based only on the physical aspects, so I try to focus of the negatives of her personality and how bad she made me feel at times. However, my mind will then drift back to the physical things and how great that was, and I'm back at square one, lol... Even though she dumped me, I'm hooked on that damn girl. If only I had some self respect and could admit I deserve better
Guest Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 I have a similar problem, that seems to be the mian thing not letting me forget about my ex who broke up with me, i mean she was beautiful and we had a great sex life. I have found however that the best remedy is to hook up with other girls, even if they are not as attractive, and obviously you wont have the same comfort level physically with this new person, but it will help you mentally. It helps you to realize that are tons and tons of other hottt girls out there and you will probably end up with something even hotter. So-- hook up as much as possible, or as much as you feel is ok.
Values Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 To me my ex was a supermodel. She was 22 when I met her and looked like she was 17. I have never been so physically attracted to a girl in my life. The sex was incredible and I stayed aroused in bed with her at all times. Your problem has been a problem for me since she dumped me in Feb of this year. I just can't stop thinking about her sexually. She was so fine and attractive from head to toe. I do think of how bad she treated me, lying and cheating behind my back for so long. Still, late at night when I'm lying in bed all alone her body and that beautiful face come into my dreams. I still love her even though she treated me terribly. I don't want her back, I just wish she could have been true and together with me for good as planned. I don't know if your problem is the same as mine, but a lot of my going in circles over her has to do with the fact that I live in a small, boring town with nothing to do. Some of my friends are married and the rest are not much on excitement. I ate dinner at one of my married friends houses tonight and could barely stand to be there around the married folks my age. I need a new town, with a new career, and new friends like me and if that doesn't work to rid my mind of her I'll be at the end of my rope. So I guess I would say to make an effort to surround yourself with new opportunities, which I know is hard to do.
Recommended Posts