tanbark813 Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 It's going to vary from guy to guy, of course, but for me it involves: * respect for me and my friends * being supportive of my interests, life, goals, etc... * wanting to involve me in her life * craving my penis like it's a drug
blind_otter Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Um, no offense or anything but.... Every single human being on the planet has their own specific emotional needs, these needs vary from human being to human being so your question is way too broad and vague. Likely you should ask the individual in question, rather than a whole host of random people who will give you answers that may or may not be applicable.
Moai Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 I don't have any emotional needs. I only have a couple of needs in general, and that is for my GF to think that I am the coolest guy on the planet and to want to be naked around me constantly.
Poboy Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 same as the women ... only amounts differ with people
RecordProducer Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 From what I've observed, my husband's emotional needs are: he wants affection and attention... he wants me to go to sleep with him, not after he falls asleep (I often break this "rule" as I am a night owl)... to eat dinner together witn him... to fly with him when he wants me to, but to "let" him go with his buddy when he feels like going with him (I am totally OK with this and asked him NOT to drag me upstairs unless we're flying to some interesting place)... he wants me to be supportive about everything that has to do with flying (I am)... to make him a sandwich or bring him a fruit (he likes the mommy-baby thing and I am enjoying it, too, as it gives me the feeling that he needs me )... he wants me to not yell at him (I do when I am angry)... he wants me to trust him and respect him (he complains that I don't always show respect when we argue)... he wants me to be nice to his family no matter what (I usually am, but I bug him at home about the crap they did)... he wants me to take care of him when he is not feeling well, which I, of course, do with pleasure... and I think he wants me to be at home when he is, I don't think he likes to be alone.
shakenandstirred Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Men in general want to be respected. We want to feel love and appreciated just as you do. We don't want to be taken for granted. Our needs are very simple for the most part. We love a woman who can listen when we do want to talk. Men are not very vocal and some of us have a hard time expressing our feelings, but we want to feel like we are important, just as you do. We are not emotional creatures, our feelings are not driven by emotion. We are more logical. We see things for how they appear. In a more tame version of what Chris Rock said: If you feed us, love us and give us the space we ask for at times, then you will have met most of our needs
Guest Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 In a more tame version of what Chris Rock said: If you feed us, love us and give us the space we ask for at times, then you will have met most of our needs OK, well if that's the case what would drive a man to start up an emotional affair with a woman?
blind_otter Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 OK, well if that's the case what would drive a man to start up an emotional affair with a woman? Being selfish and demanding that other people serve your needs without reciprocating; an inability to communicate emotions on a sincere level to their partner; an inability to be honest with oneself; weakness; fear. I'd imagine.
StayClose Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 OK, well if that's the case what would drive a man to start up an emotional affair with a woman? Getting mad at us for innocent or trivial things, attacking us when we're opening up and revealing our feelings, unwillingness to do things we used to to together, and not wanting to have sex with us.
pureinheart Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 From what I've observed, my husband's emotional needs are: he wants affection and attention... he wants me to go to sleep with him, not after he falls asleep (I often break this "rule" as I am a night owl)... to eat dinner together witn him... to fly with him when he wants me to, but to "let" him go with his buddy when he feels like going with him (I am totally OK with this and asked him NOT to drag me upstairs unless we're flying to some interesting place)... he wants me to be supportive about everything that has to do with flying (I am)... to make him a sandwich or bring him a fruit (he likes the mommy-baby thing and I am enjoying it, too, as it gives me the feeling that he needs me )... he wants me to not yell at him (I do when I am angry)... he wants me to trust him and respect him (he complains that I don't always show respect when we argue)... he wants me to be nice to his family no matter what (I usually am, but I bug him at home about the crap they did)... he wants me to take care of him when he is not feeling well, which I, of course, do with pleasure... and I think he wants me to be at home when he is, I don't think he likes to be alone. You hit all of it right there....men love to be babied, and I think that is sooooo cute....check this out, my ex-fiancee was fixing the roof and insisted that I be up there with him (this was a 2 story house!)....I did it.... Men are much more sensitive than people think, and that is why EVERY man hates being yelled at....my son hated that too....yelling at them really does some negative things.....
Woggle Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Respect us. I have dated women who think of men like children and it gets on my nerves. I actually kicked a date out of my home once because she insisted that I must be gay because I had a nice, clean house and I was able to function without a woman.
Madeamistake Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 From what I've observed, my husband's emotional needs are: he wants affection and attention... he wants me to go to sleep with him, not after he falls asleep (I often break this "rule" as I am a night owl)... to eat dinner together witn him... to fly with him when he wants me to, but to "let" him go with his buddy when he feels like going with him (I am totally OK with this and asked him NOT to drag me upstairs unless we're flying to some interesting place)... he wants me to be supportive about everything that has to do with flying (I am)... to make him a sandwich or bring him a fruit (he likes the mommy-baby thing and I am enjoying it, too, as it gives me the feeling that he needs me )... he wants me to not yell at him (I do when I am angry)... he wants me to trust him and respect him (he complains that I don't always show respect when we argue)... he wants me to be nice to his family no matter what (I usually am, but I bug him at home about the crap they did)... he wants me to take care of him when he is not feeling well, which I, of course, do with pleasure... and I think he wants me to be at home when he is, I don't think he likes to be alone. Wow! You are a great woman. If only my ex (We are talking now) had done the same with me, I would have felt whole and not just like a trophy! Well, now you know what my needs are!
burning 4 revenge Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 I have an emotional need to be bigger and harder.
stillafool Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Respect us. I have dated women who think of men like children and it gets on my nerves. I actually kicked a date out of my home once because she insisted that I must be gay because I had a nice, clean house and I was able to function without a woman. Woggle this is one of the main things my husband says women should do and don't. Just learn to respect your man! I think a lot of that has to do with RecordProducer's post also. RecordProducer my husband desires the same things and I do it with pleasure. Pureinheart that is so cute going on the roof with your fiance to fix the roof!
Mz. Pixie Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Respect is huge. I'm basing this on the "For Women only- what women need to know about men" by Shaunti Feldman. Excellent book. My H says his needs are Honesty, Committment, Affection, Acts of Service and Sexual Fufillment. But I still think all men want to be respected.
Djaba Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 Great question and some pretty good replies. I think respect is pretty much going to be a constant for almost all men, but this word is pretty thin without some elaboration. Respect for what? I think most men probably want their partner to show some understanding for what it is like to be a man in the world: i.e., for the fact that men are pretty competitive with one another, that many men (not all, maybe not even most over, say 35) are emotionally fairly immature, and that there is generally a lot of pressure on men to be "strong" - where the understanding of what "strength" means is not especially conducive to being the kind of man that most women want their men to be, at least some of the time (sensitive, caring, etc.). Please don't get me wrong: this is not a "pity us poor misunderstood men" rant. I am professionally involved in work to prevent domestic violence, which - although not limited to male perps - is statistically an overwhelmingly man-harming-woman phenomenon. The really *good* men I know - and I am very blessed to know some really great ones - aspire to be better than comes easily for us, and crave acknowledgement, from a woman they desire sexually, of the struggle involved in becoming that. In my experience, most men also do need a certain degree of space, and I think they generally use this space to deal with the frustration of not being as good, successful, handsome, well-hung, whatever, as they wish they were, and as they secretly fear their partner wishes they were. The *healthiest* men I know - and I only know a couple in this category - want to be able to gaze into the eyes of their beloved as they make sweet, tender love, sharing a moment that they both know is fleeting and therefore absolutely precious, and having a deep, affirming awareness that the one who lives longer will say beautiful things at the other's funeral.
Trialbyfire Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 Here is what I think most guys want: Admiration Respect Sex Space Full stomach Pampering Drama only when they want it.
mental_traveller Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 OK, well if that's the case what would drive a man to start up an emotional affair with a woman? Usually it's the fact that being in her presence makes his dick hard.
Mr. Lucky Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 The really *good* men I know - and I am very blessed to know some really great ones - aspire to be better than comes easily for us, and crave acknowledgement, from a woman they desire sexually, of the struggle involved in becoming that. Well said... Mr. Lucky
AManWithTroubles Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 For me, physical intimacy is first ... sex, kissing, cuddling Second, open and friendly ... please talk friendly with me, don't be my mother, don't correct me or try to find the bad in everything i do Third, food, I guess, or maybe the whole care thing together, help me to eat, help me when I'm sick, etc. So here we go: (1) Physical Intimacy (2) Friendliness (3) Caretaker But remember, It's almost Christmas when I write this, I've had a few drinks and I've been arguing with my wife a few days. It may change tomorrow.
Terence-0 Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 Be very greatfull for the things he dose for you, if he dose somthing small be greatfull for it. dont yell .. yelling is never good, it just makes him want to close himself off and bring out the bad side in him. Because he will yell back and that never solves anything. This may sound very blunt but making love is a very big factor as well. If there is no Love making then he feels like you are no longer interested in him or his body, and it may not seem like it but men are pritty insecure about themselfs as well. make him feel like you want him as much as he wantes you, not only pysicaly but emotionaly as well. Talk with him and he will talk with you.
portableversion Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 sticks it's cokkkk in as many wet holes as possible. And then try to pass that off as an "emotional need"
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