Values Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 I first came to this site around February of this year. The love of my life girlfriend of 2.5 years dumped me and within 3 weeks of her breaking it off I found out she had been cheating on me for 8 months in a serious relationship, while having contact with other guys occaisionally behind both our backs. I never cheated on her and in fact I have never been such a quality individual as I was with her, I gave her everything. Her 8 month cheat was a decent guy too I found out. I've been to a therapist a number of times and I even talked out my problems with my ex's preacher (hey it's still the south). The preacher and my therapist said she has major issues that she may never work out, ever. My therapist said she sounds like a narcissist. Which she is, considering her unloving millionaire parents who didn't even want her around when she was a little girl. She cheated on me, lied to me, lied to my parents and friends, lied to her own parents and friends about me. She turned out to be a total liar to the point I don't know if she can feel the difference. She made up stories about having relatives and friends in the hospital who were never even sick so she could be gone for a few days and I would not get suspicious. She played a role when around me, and played a different role for everyone else in her life, all the while tearing healthy people down to nothing. Well she's been engaged for 3 months now to the guy she dumped me and her other boyfriend for back in February. Of course her fiance couldn't know about her and I'm sure she's answered any questions of his with lies about her past. Still, I am JEALOUS. She has this wonderful happy life with all these friends she's met in the past year and I have nothing. I have no life, I hate my job, and am disappointed each day when I wake up. I was nothing but good to her (same for her 8 month cheat I think) and I've been left with this crappy life now for all of 2006. I still have trouble saying that I was in love with and was ready to marry (her idea first) what basically amounts to a lying, unfeeling, whore. I know she grew up dead inside from the way her parents treated her during her formative years and her first bf abused her sexually to a degree. I just can't stop thinking about her. Part of that is because I have nothing to look forward to each day, I hate my isolated home-office, and I am SO JEALOUS of her friends and seemingly happy life. It's a classic trait of people like her to have this big front. This huge active world to cover up the pain they feel inside, but I don't even have that. I was fine 3.5 years ago before I met her and now I am nothing but a jealous guy who still dreams about the evil girl that he loved so much.
notmakingsense Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 That we all so easily fall in to... believing that they are so happy and have great lives to live without us. It isn't true, she'll end up cheating on this new guy too.... Jealousy is an evil insidious state of mind that you need to shake, because it will prevent you from moving on. Focus on the fact that you are too good for her. You deserve better, and you will get better. Get back to the guy you were 3.5 years ago. Develop some friendships and focus on your career. Once you start feeling good about yourself *independantly* from being in a relationship, you will find that relationships with higher-quality women will become a reality for you.
Author Values Posted December 18, 2006 Author Posted December 18, 2006 I feel like my window of what I could have been has passed. I feel like I gave too many years to her. She's been the #1 thing on my mind since I first met her in April 2003 and even though she dumped me for her now fiance this past February I am in this vicious cycle of remembering her. I know a lot about how she cheated on me and who with. I put together a lot of her lies. I can now see who she really was when I met her instead of the idealized view I had of her back in 2003. I know I've wasted too much time on her already and shouldn't waste another moment, but it is hard to forget the thing you loved and valued above ALL else. On a slightly different note, I moved back home to the town I live in now to work and save money for our future (marriage). This was her plan as well, or so I thought. She would tell me about being my wife and would write her name with my last name in these elaborate cards while she was cheating on me and on EHARMONY for crying out loud. She spent money to lie to other guys on eharmony about her single status. She ruined that guy the same as me, just like she ruined the guy I replaced back in 2003. Anyway, like I said, I chose to move back here in 2003 to save and plan for our mutual future. Now that she's long gone and there is no one here for me I need a new career, a new town, and new friends who share my interests. Has anybody out there made this move before. I can visit my ex's myspace page and see all her friends (I know a lot of myspace is trivial though). She lives in this fun, active world near Myrtle Beach and here I sit hating each new day. I was the good one for so long and it backfired on me, she was a total liar and a piece of crap to everyone who loved her and she gets friends, guys, money, etc. falling all over her.
Rooster_DAR Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 I feel like my window of what I could have been has passed. I feel like I gave too many years to her. She's been the #1 thing on my mind since I first met her in April 2003 and even though she dumped me for her now fiance this past February I am in this vicious cycle of remembering her. I know a lot about how she cheated on me and who with. I put together a lot of her lies. I can now see who she really was when I met her instead of the idealized view I had of her back in 2003. I know I've wasted too much time on her already and shouldn't waste another moment, but it is hard to forget the thing you loved and valued above ALL else. On a slightly different note, I moved back home to the town I live in now to work and save money for our future (marriage). This was her plan as well, or so I thought. She would tell me about being my wife and would write her name with my last name in these elaborate cards while she was cheating on me and on EHARMONY for crying out loud. She spent money to lie to other guys on eharmony about her single status. She ruined that guy the same as me, just like she ruined the guy I replaced back in 2003. Anyway, like I said, I chose to move back here in 2003 to save and plan for our mutual future. Now that she's long gone and there is no one here for me I need a new career, a new town, and new friends who share my interests. Has anybody out there made this move before. I can visit my ex's myspace page and see all her friends (I know a lot of myspace is trivial though). She lives in this fun, active world near Myrtle Beach and here I sit hating each new day. I was the good one for so long and it backfired on me, she was a total liar and a piece of crap to everyone who loved her and she gets friends, guys, money, etc. falling all over her. Dude...you were put through the ringer. To give you some solice, my recent EX fiance did the exact same thing to me after five years of treating her well. I was going through the same exact crap..the questions, the anger, the whys and the whole nine yards. I am still pretty **cked up from the whole thing, I'm just taking it day by day. My EX already has this guy coming to spend Xmas with her after only 3 months, but a bunch of crap. I too also found out she had been messing with her co-worker for nearly a year while she was professing her true love to me. There are many of them out there doing this, and we are just another sad reminder of how screwed up things are. The last couple of days have been great for me, I'm getting out and meeting new peope, working out and learning to enjoy my freedom. Take solice in knowing you are not alone, many of us are suffering the same kind of loss from these pathetic excuses of women. Good luck,
Author Values Posted December 18, 2006 Author Posted December 18, 2006 It stinks. It really does stink. I've read so much on narcissits and pathological liars. And each thing I read just screams her name. It's so hard to come to terms with the fact that I was in love with and wanted to marry a pathological liar. She told some lies that would make O.J. Simpson cringe. This beautiful, sexy, daughter of a successful millionaire father, is so far beyond messed up in the head and now she's engaged to be married this coming summer. I can't believe I loved her for so long. I loved a pathological liar, there I said it. Now a 25 or so year old fireman in Myrtle Beach is about to marry this girl this summer. I know he's under her spell the way I was (still partially am). This is so hard to deal with. I miss her so much physically, I miss her sexually so bad, yet I know what a poison she is to everyone who comes in contact with her. I just don't know how to move on in a healthy way. She killed so much of who I was. She just kept putting weights on me until I collapsed.
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