heartbroken1234 Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 I just posted on the 15th, and no one has responded yet. Please, I need advice and don't know what to think or do?!?!?! Ok, see my ex and I have been broke up for 7 months... In those 7 months, we have yet to go more than a week w/ out talking, I'd always try but she'd always call me crying. This whole time though, she's had a boyfriend who she claims to love, they got together 2 weeks after we broke up, kind of why she dumped me I think... not positive... Anyways... about month 6 I started talking to some other girl and some stuff happened, my ex found out. She obviously calls me crying, makes me meet her, etc. Nothing is settled and we fight for about a week, just her crying me endless amounts and texting me, etc. Just acting so hurt that I'd sleep w/ someone else, yet she'd been sleeping with and still is her boyfriend. I reassure my ex that I love her and if she'd want to be back together we could... she just insists on how complicated it is and that she's so confused and lost. Well... we keep talking more and more, then that leads to hanging out. Then that leads to just laying together, which leads to more. Then she started driving to my house to visit, but we'd have to sneak around because she has a boyfriend. He lives 3 hours away, but my ex lives w/ her brother on campus. So when we'd hang out, she'd drive to my place about 15 minutes away. OR.. get this.... I'd climb in through her window at like 1am for a couple straight evenings. Obviously stuff happened gradually... We kissed, then a few more nights led to more, then we end up having sex. She was very weird acting afterwards like she felt bad, considering she just cheated on her dude. Then, a few more nights, it happens again, she doesn't feel bad, joking around, etc. Then 2 days ago happens. She calls me bawling her eyes out... asking me to meet her at the park. I get there and she's already crying like crazy. I'm asking what's wrong and all she says is that her boyfriend is going to be home. Obviously meaning that we couldn't continue to hang out because he's home for break and if she doesn't break up with him we obviously can't talk anymore. Well... she procedes to keep crying, but then just grabs me and we start kissing and she tells me how she loves me and always will. This came as a huge shock for me. The next day comes and she calls me crying again, saying how she didn't dump him, he kissed her and they slept in same bed, but no sex..(which i hardly believe)... ANyways, she continues to text and call me throughout the day when he's not around. I'm trying to be there for her and support her since I'm thinking she's going to dump him. Then the evening comes around. I try calling her, she doesn't answer.... I get pissed, call back again, and again... She finally answers and goes nuts... "why are you calling, what are you calling for, how many times do i tell you to leave me alone". I threaten her ( i know very immature) that if she hangs up I will tell everyone that she cheated on him and tell her brother immediately on instant messenger. She eventually hangs up and I tell her brother. All hell breaks lose, with him wondering what to believe. (by the way, her brother's best friend is her current boyfriend)... Anyways, he gives me attitude and says he'll believe her over me anyday. Tells me I'm crazy, psycho, take medication, etc. Just being a prick. Anyways, she calls me and ask's what did I ever do to her, why am I ruining her. etc. Now it's today... she text me really early this morning, just saying crap to me about how she is in shock of me, to quit making things up (takes two to have sex mind you, haha...), etc. Just being very dismissive, won't say anything, keeps hanging up on me, but calls back... Also mentions how I should just go hook up with that girl I was seeing since i loved her so much... (don't love her, just bad mistake, mistake which made the ex come crying back to me). And I'm just so so lost. I don't see how anyone could treat me like this or what her motive or mission is. Why did she not just break up with her dude and be w/ me? Will she end up staying in this distance relationship with him? Will her having cheated and trying to lie about it bring them closer? WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!?!?!?
Jubilee Kate Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 Of course you're lost. She's with someone else and still giving you hope that she'll eventually come back to you. It's a carrot on a stick game, and you're settling for the slimy end. Stop talking to her for a while and see what happens. Your enabling her and torturing yourself at the same time. If she wants to come back, she knows where to find you. Stop being her doormat and stand up for yourself.
upsetnhurt Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 Why are you even playing this game with her? Her actions to date are of such disrespect to you! Have some pride and no matter how much it hurts, cut off all contact with this woman. She is a confused girl and you will never get the happiness you desire with her and with anyone else as long as you have her in the picture.
Author heartbroken1234 Posted December 17, 2006 Author Posted December 17, 2006 Thanks for the response... I realize going into the past 2 weeks there was a huge chance of this happening to me. I just truly felt in my heart because of what she was doing w/ me and telling me that she would dump him. I love her so much and its so difficult to think that she was just using me and having the best worlds. I guess I'm just very naive to the fact that she's with him and wants to be with him. I just don't see how she can claim to love him yet tell me she loves me and sleep w/ me. I will never understand how a girls mind works or anyone that is able to treat someone like that for that matter. All I've been is nice to her for 7 months of this. I wrote her an email yesterday just saying how I felt one last time and apologizing for telling people all about it. And just letting her know that I felt it was time to just stop contact all together unless she breaks up with him. Hopefully something happens from this. If not, I prolly won't hear from her until I start dating someone, and then she'll call me crying. I just truly love her and want her to be happy regardless how crap she is to me. I know it sounds bad, but deep down she is a great person, she's just really lost, confused, indecisive and afraid. I love her tho and always will be here for her, and I'm just scared that if I don't talk to her, she won't know how I feel and she'll forget. Which I guess that would be fate if that happened, but still. I don't know, just thanks so much for your responses. I appreciate it.
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