Okeydokey Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 Met a cool M. 2 months ago. It was obvious we had good REALLY good chemistry. NO RING. M finally asked me on a date last week and we went. NO RING. On the date he tells me he "tries to go home on weekends to visit his wife and kids." I ask, "why dont u live together?" He responds it is "complicated." M is at University with me. W lives with kids about 1.5 hours away. At the end of the date M asked me to go out w/him next day. Told M I couldn't bc of exams. M texts me couple times the next day. Can't stop thinking about M and think he is cool and especially appreciate sincerity about his situation, but worried about the going home every weekend business... Should I cut out before I'm in too deep? For those of you who have been here and have experience reading the signals, what do you think? worth the risk?
whichwayisup Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 He has a wife and children. He is married! And hasn't really gone into details about his life, just that he goes home every weekend.... Are you prepared to be his other woman and be kept a secret? The chances of him leaving his wife and children for you are so slim...Is abit of fun with him worth having your heart broken? Plus, you'd be helping him cheat on his wife, betraying his whole family... Get out now while you still can. Have respect for his marriage, for his wife and children, even if he doesn't. If you stay though, be prepared for alot of pain, loneliness and confusion...It's all up to you, so think about it before jumping into an affair with him. Go read other threads in this section and find out what OW have gone through, maybe it will put you off so you won't become the OW in his life.
goodfriendeva Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 why would you want to allow someone to disrespect you.. you are a person.. deserving of a REAL relationship.. hes married with children.. think about them.. and find someone wanting you and willing to share you with everyone.. instead of being a dirty little secret.
kymberann Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 Please save yourself the heart ache. But maybe you will have to go there just so you can answer your own ? Let's hope you don't! Best
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 especially appreciate sincerity about his situation Too bad he wasn't sincere enough to tell you that he was married with kids before he reeled you in.
puddleofmud Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 As in what is so cool about him? That he takes his ring off when not w/ his family? That he is throwing his emotional and sexual burdens on you? That's not the definition of coolness in the "who is cool' dictionary. Cool guys are confident within themselves and don't use people. He can be found under the definition of "manipuator" in the "slime" dictionary. Not to mention the "book of way boring". He will ever go out w/ you and your friends at your next birthday party. 1.5 hours is not that far compared to having a marriage and children. If time for exams seems to complicated; try imagining the complications about that! He is "daddy" and "husband" and most likely knows exactly what he is doing within the college environment so save yourself the trouble--you won't be the first or the last he has diddled. You have thousands of available single guys (some doing the the same) but at least they are without problems that can come w/ an affair w/ a married guy. Happy hunting!
BenThereDunThat Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 Very well put POM...and funny too! OP - I hope you listen to everyone here...they all speak the truth. Pull up a chair and dig into all the OW threads here. The answers to your questions are all in there.
bonehead Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Met a cool M. 2 months ago. It was obvious we had good REALLY good chemistry. NO RING. M finally asked me on a date last week and we went. NO RING. On the date he tells me he "tries to go home on weekends to visit his wife and kids." I ask, "why dont u live together?" He responds it is "complicated." M is at University with me. W lives with kids about 1.5 hours away. At the end of the date M asked me to go out w/him next day. Told M I couldn't bc of exams. M texts me couple times the next day. Can't stop thinking about M and think he is cool and especially appreciate sincerity about his situation, but worried about the going home every weekend business... Should I cut out before I'm in too deep? For those of you who have been here and have experience reading the signals, what do you think? worth the risk? Worth the risk??? Short answer is no. Long answer is H*LL no. I could care less about his marriage situation. What kind of man would only see his kids on weekends while only being an hour and a half away??????????????????????? That speaks even more about him then his not telling you he was married
whichwayisup Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 I could care less about his marriage situation. What kind of man would only see his kids on weekends while only being an hour and a half away??????????????????????? That speaks even more about him Actually, a friend of mine went to teachers college for a year and she would come home on weekends, holidays to be with her huband and child. The college was 2 1/2 hours away...And while she was there, she DID NOT CHEAT on her husband. Just needed to point that out, not all people away from their spouses for whatever reason, whether it be for work, or University, cheat!
GreenEyedLady Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Can't stop thinking about M and think he is cool and especially appreciate sincerity about his situation, but worried about the going home every weekend business... Should I cut out before I'm in too deep? For those of you who have been here and have experience reading the signals, what do you think? worth the risk? What do you want to happen here? Do you think that you two will end up happily ever after? This is not worth the risk at all...you haven't invested yourself here, so I think you should get out while you can...
Author Okeydokey Posted December 18, 2006 Author Posted December 18, 2006 BIG THANKS to everyone who weighed in on this one... It pretty much confirms what I have been feeling the last couple days. But it is good to hear it from you all. And I did look at some of the posts from OWs. It helped a lot - I can see that it is a very painful experience for everyone involved. I guess the short lived fun of it is def. not worth the pain after.
Seen_It_All Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Ahh, yet another dirty old man hitting on a young co-ed. Why am I not surprised?
lovernotafighter Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 the fact you even posed this question kinda tells me you know you shouldn't and perhaps just want affirmation that it's a horrible idea. I believe the majority of us om's and ow's here are here because we our in pain and our lives have been flipped upside down cause we are all in situations we wish we weren't in. you may be infatuated now but once your in love you can pretty much count on being pretty unhappy about this...like everyone else has..get out with your skin still in tact.
blueyes77 Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Its not worth all the pain you will suffer I promise
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