BenThereDunThat Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 Well, just like I said that I would NEVER fall for a married man, I also said I would NEVER go out with someone I worked with. Forget the fact that he's even married. Just even dating someone and to have it go south and then to have to look at them every day? Totally sucks. Like I said, over a year ago if this same topic came up, I'd be all self-righteous and say NOT ME, I would never do such a stupid thing. We see how well that turned out.... But, I will say that the fact that it was an affair, means no one knew about it. So, it wasn't like anyone even noticed when I stopped talking to him. And it's not like I am vocal to anyone, so there's no chance for any drama or picking "sides" or anything like that. But yeah. Lesson learned for sure. I can't say 'never' anymore but I can say 'never again.'
Author bonehead Posted December 17, 2006 Author Posted December 17, 2006 Well, just like I said that I would NEVER fall for a married man, I also said I would NEVER go out with someone I worked with. Forget the fact that he's even married. Just even dating someone and to have it go south and then to have to look at them every day? Totally sucks. Like I said, over a year ago if this same topic came up, I'd be all self-righteous and say NOT ME, I would never do such a stupid thing. We see how well that turned out.... But, I will say that the fact that it was an affair, means no one knew about it. So, it wasn't like anyone even noticed when I stopped talking to him. And it's not like I am vocal to anyone, so there's no chance for any drama or picking "sides" or anything like that. But yeah. Lesson learned for sure. I can't say 'never' anymore but I can say 'never again.' problem with hind sight, its to late in coming.
BenThereDunThat Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 problem with hind sight, its to late in coming. True. But it does serve its purpose. No point in looking back. We can all only move forward. Move forward with just that much more wisdom and that much more self-awareness. That is, if we're smart enough to glean the lessons and leave the rest behind.
Author bonehead Posted December 17, 2006 Author Posted December 17, 2006 Just even dating someone and to have it go south and then to have to look at them every day? But what if it DIDNT go south???? No away time at all!!!!!!
BenThereDunThat Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 But what if it DIDNT go south???? No away time at all!!!!!! Yeah, that would pretty much suck too. I don't know how couples who work together do it. I like my me time! I fear I've become too independent. I could hardly stand living with someone. I like coming home knowing that I can turn on the tv and watch what I want to watch. I can eat cold cereal for dinner, sit around in my pj's and just do nothing at all if I feel like it. Yep, that's it. I'm gonna be the crazy lady living alone except for a bunch of cats. I just know it.
Can'tGiveUp Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 Whats up with all of these office affairs?? Take out the gossip, the risk to employment, the hostile work enviroment it may cause. IF things were to work out you would have one of two options. Change jobs or SPEND EVERY WAKING MOMENT WITH THAT PERSON!!!!!! I would go NUTS!!!!! I met my exH at work and we worked together for several years. We had no problems with it. Granted, when we split we no longer worked together. I think they happen because you spend so much time with your coworkers that you develop bonds. They become someone you can talk about work with and unlike your spouse, they know what you are talking about and you don't have to spend time explaining again who the person you are talking about is and how their position related to yours etc... There is a phenomenon called "work wife". Often this person is known to W and the connection is purely platonic. I have a coworker with whom I have this kind of relationship. He is married and I consider him to be one of my best friends. I think that these relationships can sometimes morph into A's if people aren't careful.
lovernotafighter Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 Whats up with all of these office affairs?? Take out the gossip, the risk to employment, the hostile work enviroment it may cause. IF things were to work out you would have one of two options. Change jobs or SPEND EVERY WAKING MOMENT WITH THAT PERSON!!!!!! I would go NUTS!!!!! it is the law of propinquity bonehead The more we meet and interact with people, the more likely we are to become friends with them. As we meet people we become familiar and find things we like about them. It is not so much 'birds of a feather flock together' as 'birds who just happen to be near each other grow similar feathers'.
kymberann Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 I fear I've become too independent. I could hardly stand living with someone. What a statement I am all too familiar with! Someone AT WORK!!!(No worries, just a good friend) Told me I was too independent and probably would never get married. Mind you I am a therapist so us coworkers always call us on our "stuff". Anyway after the R's I have been through, there probably is some truth to this. If I am ever to be with someone they have to be soooo combatible with me. I like figuring things out on my own, am too impatient at times and like things "in their proper place". Hell I can barely get along with myself, how could i get along with another long enough to enjoy it! My poor kids, I wonder how they cope!
kymberann Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 There is a phenomenon called "work wife". Often this person is known to W and the connection is purely platonic. I have a coworker with whom I have this kind of relationship. He is married and I consider him to be one of my best friends. So true, so true! I worked with a good male friend who was about 10 years older than I. He was married and I knew his W very well. I would often go to their house during off hours and on weekends. They were grea to me. We were actually referred to as "Beauty and the Beast". I the Beauty of course! ANyway we got along so well platonically, we were really close, the H and I. The W knew we were close and it didn't seem to bother her. She did refer to me as his work W. I thought it was all in jest, but there is truth to it. I need to point out W and I were just as close as well, but just on a different level. Anyway a few years down the road, he finally came out and told me he had deeper feelings for me through this time. For me it put a damper on those friendship feelings. I was also going through a D and at the beginning both he and his W were a strong support for me. I questioned what was really going on in their R. but put a stop to it because it wasn't my business. The friendship changed for me after a few months time and I cooled off the R. I never provoked and I never followed through! So no more work wife at all for me!
Romeo Must Die Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 Small town affairs are a lot like workplace affairs. Don't sh*it where you eat. When it's over, we are still essentially *stuck* with our current positions. We have a home, family (friends) and work here and we still have to face the OP on a regular basis. Sometimes the OW/OP try harder to move even closer. It adds to the tension. There is gossip and aggrivation even in the most unlikely situation. The kids talk about it in school because they heard their parents discussing it, my kids are taunted. It is very much the same as a workplace affair.
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