dunnowat2du Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 hi all! ok anyway i have a problem with my girlfriend. Im 17, and have been seeing her for a little over six months. im the kind of guy that needs to know there is a future in a relationship, she is not. it all started about 3 months ago, she started having doubts. than she would get over them, but they came back two weeks later. recently she started telling me that she has been going out for me for three months cause she felt bad. she accused me of likeing her friend 3 months ago just so she could break up with me. if she really wanted to i think she would have broken up than. this girl is also terrified of a long term relationship. she had a bad childhood and has been hurt emotionally because of it. she canoot trust many people she has a really hard time with trust. she trusts me but still gets scared. she has claimed that she has just "given up" on this relationship, and says we always fight. even though she is the one starting fights. if she did not have trust problems and a bad childhood, i would break up with her. but i have a feeling that she is just scared because she did break up with me 5 days ago, and than on the phone after she had broken up, she came back after putting the phone down for a minute and was crying, and said i wanna give this a shot. i asked her why 3 days ago, she paused and said crying: i dont want to be alone, i dont want to be one of those girls in their twenties and alone, and i know if i have you and am with you i will never have to worry about that and u will always be there for me. what the heck? so does she or does she not want me? cause now she's back to i dont think we should be together. I suggested a break and have not talkd to her at all in the past two days. i foudn out that her ex boyfriend asked her: where is he, i havent seen him all day? apparently she is was looking for me. she wanted a break in the past, and she asked for a week long break.....it lasted a half a day and she was back in my arms. she is also the girl i lost my virginity too, and same for her, first guy. we had such a good relationship. I honestly believe that it is not that she doesnt love me, but she is scared to death at putting herself in a position to get hurt, and after every month passes she gets more scared, and knows if she does get hurt it will hurt even worse. this girl has been hurt so many times in her life, she simply has trust problems. the thing is i dont know if giving her space will help, because i mean she knows i am the best boyfirend she has ever had, she clearly stated that. it is just so hard pulling information out of her, that is why i think it is best i give her space. but please dont say leave this girl now, because believe me if i didnt know about her bad childhood, and how emotionally hurt she is, i would have probably left her. but i honestly think she loves me but is just very confused and scared. she says she has been going out with me for 3 months cause she felt bad, but i highley doubt that because in the last 3 months she has gotten really close, and when she doesnt want to do something she makes it obvious, so i just dont believe her. she does make up alot of things to cover up her true feelings. i am just so confused, i love this girl so much, but every time she does things like this it just breaks my heart. my hope is that giving her space will make her miss me, and she will realize what she has done, but i just dont know. another piece of information that might be helpfull is that she once told me that it would be nice if i had some backbone, and latley i have been using it.....and i was wondering could this just all be a test? some of her friends think that since she has been hurt so many times in her life, that she is testing to see how much i will put up with her, and stay by her side. they think that she wants to see that i wont give up on her ,just like some of the people in her life have before. is this possible? would a girl or anyone need to know that bad that thier partener would never leave them, just so they no for sure that they wont get hurt? if it is true, then that is just mean. this girl is also going to see a theripiyst next week to deal with some family issues she has been going through. i am hopeing it will help our relationship too. and i just dont know when the right time to end this break is. i just hope to god that this is all a test! but i have my doubts on that! thanks if you can make any sense of this! ask me for any other information u need! also she has been very stressed latley, how much can stress hurt a relationship? because in the summer there was no stress, and our relationship was good, now with school this relationshio has had some very tough times, but hse has had more stress than just school. her step dad who she was once very close to cheated on her mom, and she was the one who found the text messages to another women. my girlfriend couldnt believe it, and a few weeks ago he left her. she was really hurt by this. but anyway thanks if you can help me!
Author dunnowat2du Posted December 23, 2006 Author Posted December 23, 2006 ok i have an update if anyone cares, but i doubt it. anyway oddly enough everything has worked out, she is now back to how it was when we first started going out, she says she loves me and all, and seems like she really loves me alot now! so im pretty happy!
Guest Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 ok i have an update if anyone cares, but i doubt it. anyway oddly enough everything has worked out, she is now back to how it was when we first started going out, she says she loves me and all, and seems like she really loves me alot now! so im pretty happy! congrats
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