Birthday Blues

[oh_what_am_I_doing]

Hello all. Here's the situation; I'd appreciate any advice on what should I do.

 

Several weeks ago my boyfriend (of a year and a half) called me from work and said that his boss is giving him a special day off in January because of all his hard work in December. He called me to double check when my birthday is and said that he would request off for my bday. I thought that was really sweet (although I did tease him about not remembering the day of my birthday!) Now fast forward to today. He tells me that he's excited because he probably will be getting off the day of the OSU National Championship game. He goes on to tell me that his boss is giving him an extra day off in Jan, and he requested off so he can watch the game. I said, "But you called me a few weeks ago to verify when my birthday is so that you could get that day off." He said that he doesn't recall having that conversation. So ok, he wants to watch the game really bad- that's understandable. So I asked him if he would request off for the day of my birthday too, and he said no. I can't believe he said no! What a total jerk It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been expecting it since he specifically told me so a few weeks ago, but then not even an apology for forgetting! Not even the slightest hint of remorse on his part. All I got was this stupid defiant look that he gives me all the time where he purses his lips and his eyes get all wide.

 

What to do, what to do????

[Guest]

your boyfriend did that? horrible! find a new boyfriend. i always take my birthday and my girlfriends birthday off and just her and i celebrate it together and always will. we have never missed each others birthday since we started going out together. she said she would call and we would make plans. kewl eh.

[amaysngrace]

That sounds awful.

 

Is he the type to make pretend like he's into the game just to surprise you instead?

 

Or is he really into the game more?

[oh_what_am_I_doing]

Is he the type to make pretend like he's into the game just to surprise you instead? Or is he really into the game more?

 

I wish I could say he's the type to be romantic and surprise me, but unfortunately he is not. He's never, not even once in 18 months, done something nice to surprise me like that. Now he does nice things occasionally (like for example, his boss gave him a fifty dollar gift card, which he gave to me just the other day).

 

So anyway, I don't know how to handle this. He will be getting off work here in a few minutes and as far as I know he's planning on coming over. I AM SO PISSED but I know being angry doesn't help the situation. He completely shuts down and acts so immature. He clams up and the other day actually hid under the covers so as to ignore me. (The other day we had the "Why don't we ever have sex?" talk. I was always the initator but sex was waning down to nothing, because oftentimes when I would initiate, he'd turn me down. And it's not like I'm unattractive! So anyway, I stopped initating about two months ago, and we haven't had sex since..... sorry, I've digressed....)

 

So anyway, I'm trying to calm down, but this is totally unacceptable. Letting him know how angry I am doesn't do any good. He's a stubborn jerk in times like this.

[amaysngrace]

So anyway, I'm trying to calm down, but this is totally unacceptable. Letting him know how angry I am doesn't do any good. He's a stubborn jerk in times like this.

 

Wow...sounds like you have lots of unmet needs with this one.

 

I don't think $50 is a pay-off big enough for what you're sacrificing.

 

Regardless, you should let him know how you feel in a very calm manner. Be clear about what you need from him. Be clear about how he's disappointed you about your B-day plans. But stay calm.

 

If he acts like a jerk then he's most likely a jerk.

[dropdeadlegs]

Okay, I'm a big football fan (female) but also an OSU fan, even though I now live in another state (GO LSU!.)

I understand your anger since he asked about your birthday, and he should know your birthday. But I also understand his wanting to be "off work" on the OSU National Championship game day if only to see the game on TV.

 

I know it sucks. But National Championships only happen once a year (at best!) and I'm really sorry that it is happening at the time of your birthday.

 

If it were LSU in that game, I would be there myself, birthday or no birthday. I'll be watching OSU anyway.

[Guest]

i am sorry you are going thru so many tough times. anger kills trust. i know that now and i wish i could show someone the changes i have done. birthdays are special. in the past i have neglected what was important to me, that was her. and she doesn't need to do something romantic to make me notice her - it was i who got lost but i found myself. so, when someone feels it is them that is the problem, why your partner losses interest - chances are u are the most loving soul on the planet and if u take that leap of faith u will see he recognizes this too.

 

for me, i have spent quite a while on this site hoping that ann would get enuff trust back from my words to take that leap but more words from me will not make the difference - she needs to see with her own eyes. so, tonite i stop this method of reaching out and ask her to do the same. she knows i want her back in my life and all the changes i have made. there is nothing more i can do in here. i will linger a few more moments to see if she wants to reply, here, msn inmess, or cell - and if not, that's ok. the sun will still rise and set and life will go on [with her of course, but without is ok too]

 

hugs and kisses

[oh_what_am_I_doing]

I understand your anger since he asked about your birthday, and he should know your birthday. But I also understand his wanting to be "off work" on the OSU National Championship game day if only to see the game on TV. I know it sucks. But National Championships only happen once a year (at best!) and I'm really sorry that it is happening at the time of your birthday.

 

Well my birthday is in January, but it isn't on the same day as the game. I don't see why he can't get off for both. Well actually I do know why... he's refused and refused and refused, time and time again, to request off for things. He refused to request off for my graduation for my masters degree (though he finally did give in on that one), he refused to request off for my grandfather's wedding, he refused to request off so that we could take a weekend trip.... so why does it surprise me that he's refusing for my birthday????!!!!

 

And anyway, I'm just as much of a buckeye fan as he is. I got my undergraduate and graduate degrees there! I'll be watching the game, you bet!! I realize it only happens once in a blue moon that we make it to number one, and I'm not asking him to give that up. I just want him to request off a second day, because he originally said he wanted to have off on my birthday. OR I want him to be apologetic because he forgot. He wasn't... he wasn't at all. He was mean and hurtful.

[oh_what_am_I_doing]

OMG. He just came over to MY HOUSE, didn't even say hi, walked right past me, went upstair and began playing xbox live. It's my freaking house!

[amaysngrace]

OMG. He just came over to MY HOUSE, didn't even say hi, walked right past me, went upstair and began playing xbox live. It's my freaking house!

 

OMG this dude needs a clue.

 

And you put up with this why??

[Guest]

Kewl. Just Like Old Times - Hope She Brought Sims 2.

 

Ok...i'm Off To The Tonka Everyone

 

Merry Christmas

[dropdeadlegs]

he originally said he wanted to have off on my birthday. OR I want him to be apologetic because he forgot. He wasn't... he wasn't at all. He was mean and hurtful.

Sorry, my football fanaticism got the best of me earlier. X-box? He walked right past you and went upstairs to play X-box? No excuse....No excuses...I'm so glad I don't have X-box, nor does my BF. It could be the end of us, I assume. Walking past me to play games would be the end of us....