Why I ought to....

[pricillia]

Ok I have to keep you all updated. Plus I am furious, I have the right mind to call his wife( that he seems to hate so much) and tell her everything.

 

I came to work tonight to my second job, he is working tonight...

 

I don't want to say too much here but, I walked into area that we would both see eachother, to get my dinner. Everyone loves me here(for the most part) so they are very social with me...person was making small talk with me and then brought him into it...

 

Well the person that I was talking to said to him SO (insert name) how is your little one doing?

 

He said fine... now keep in mind I have had a feeling that he has another child and he has been telling me this whole time that he only has one child. LIAR

 

I even asked a few weeks ago... him but again he looked me straight in the eye and lied to me.

 

How the f****** hell can someone look at someone that they claim to freakin love and lie to them when all that person has done has been kind and caring. THe answer is he does not love me... it is that simple

 

I want to call her so bad and just talk to her to find out what the deal is.

Now please do not tell me not to because I won't but I should do it.

 

I am going to see him after work any advice on what to say to him.

 

What the hell!!! Why do men lie through their teeth can anyone answer that question????

 

So I have been duped again can I trust anyone ever again????

 

He has no idea how angry I am I am playing it off like there is nothing wrong..... I am not going to come off like a lunatic tonight he is not going to get the best of me there oh no...

 

But I would like to know what to say to the LIAR.

 

Gosh what the heck does a girl have to do to find passion and intamacy without the freakin lies???????????????????

 

CAN ANYONE TELL ME THAT HUGH... Because I would really like to know

 

I am going to change my name to

stepalloverme!

[BenThereDunThat]

Oh man, Pricilia, this guy is a PIG, p-i-g, PIG!

 

Do NOT let him take your trust in relationships away!! You hear me?? That would be the absolute worst thing you could do. Keep your eyes open and don't be naiive, sure. But you can't close your heart off because of this a**hole, he doesn't deserve to take that away from you!

 

I wouldn't even meet him after work tonight.

 

You will never find true love, intimacy, passion, etc. while you're so caught up in his ugly, ugly world.

 

I'm sorry, but he sounds like a real slime ball.

 

Anyone that would deny one of their own children...DOUBLE !

[Art_Critic]

This is not criticism of you Pricilla and I understand you are hurting and sometimes we are just too close to everything and can't see the forest for the trees.. but..

 

How can you EXPECT a MM that lies to his current wife and has broken his vows.. his bond of love to his wife.. How can you expect him to tell you the truth??

It is never going to happen.. he will ALWAYS lie to you..

I'm sorry you feel bummed and hurt right now...

 

I hope you choose to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and never speak to him again and go out and find an available person that can love you the way you need to be loved..

[ratingsguy]

Pricillia, whatever you decide to do, sleep on it. You're extremely angry (and justifiably so!), but one thing I've learned is that when someone is so filled with anger and rage, they do something that they regret.

 

Go to sleep tonight, wake up tomorrow after regaining your composure. You will be able to think more clearly and make the right decision about what to do next.

 

Just some friendly advice from a fairly respectable member of the male species. (at least I think so!)

[pricillia]

Yeah I will definately think about it, but oh boy...

 

He called me asking me for some extra strength asprin as he called me up and said that he has a splitting headache

 

Gee I wonder why....

[pricillia]

Oh man, Pricilia, this guy is a PIG, p-i-g, PIG!

 

Do NOT let him take your trust in relationships away!! You hear me?? That would be the absolute worst thing you could do. Keep your eyes open and don't be naiive, sure. But you can't close your heart off because of this a**hole, he doesn't deserve to take that away from you!

 

I wouldn't even meet him after work tonight.

 

You will never find true love, intimacy, passion, etc. while you're so caught up in his ugly, ugly world.

 

I'm sorry, but he sounds like a real slime ball.

 

Anyone that would deny one of their own children...DOUBLE !

 

 

 

Yes that is what he is..... why the F*** do I ever trust

 

what the f**K was I to him what the hell are we OW to any of the freaking MM out there, just a fresh P**** is that it?

 

Hey I love the opposite sex but this is really nuts, I would like to know what I ever did to him to be lied to like this.

 

What happned in his life for him to do this.

 

Is it out of need or a lack of love and attention from someone growing up.

 

TO MM

Take a girl that would trust and yeah step all over her that's right do it because you can /you freakin LIARS!!!!

 

I have to get in type because if I don't I am going to puch a wall or something!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I hope he chokes on his asprin...

 

Extra strength for a extra special LIAR...

[BUTAFLY]

Men like this need a good wake up call. To get caught, catch an STD...a good ol'fashion beat down, whatever. They feel entitled and lucky to get away with this behavior. He has no remorse or sympathy for what he has done to you or his wife or his kids for that matter. PURE SCUM!! I am angry for you Pricilla, you conjured up old feelings of disgust I had for my ex. He looked me in the eyes everyday and lied to me and his wife. And now he gets to strut around work (I also have a 2nd nite job)with a grin on his face like a cat who swallowed the canary, EFF THAT!

[pricillia]

Men like this need a good wake up call. To get caught, catch an STD...a good ol'fashion beat down, whatever. They feel entitled and lucky to get away with this behavior. He has no remorse or sympathy for what he has done to you or his wife or his kids for that matter. PURE SCUM!! I am angry for you Pricilla, you conjured up old feelings of disgust I had for my ex. He looked me in the eyes everyday and lied to me and his wife. And now he gets to strut around work (I also have a 2nd nite job)with a grin on his face like a cat who swallowed the canary, EFF THAT!

 

 

I am going to call his wife, not sure what to say at this point, but I really do not care anymore she is going to find out...how he is and what we have been doing, just how long and how he lied to me about he pure existance.

 

I am going to take back my dignity.

 

I tried to put him first and his feelings but you all know he did not deserve it oh noooooo!

[puddleofmud]

Yes, he is a liar from hell!!! There could be no doubt about this.

You have been patient and more than fair.

That does not mean you have to become his whip.

I know you are hurting so badly and I am angry with you, but just take a day or two before you think about calling anyone.

Don't let him control you--please do try to think about the children and their mother(s)?

They didn't do this to you.

Post here and talk before you do that. In a few days you will be over that initial "hump" and we will be here for you!

So sorry, honey! Hang in there!

[stillhere]

Pricillia..........Please think about this. I know you are hurting. I can't understand how some of these MM's can go to such lengths to lie about everything. You know he's M, so why does he have to lie about everything else? Some men, i'll never understand.

 

Before you call, take a step back and collect your thoughts. I think that if i was in your situation, i'd be making a phone call as well. You need to be rational though. Like everyone said, wait a day or two.

 

I wish you luck. Please be careful, you don't know the person you are going to be dealing with.

[whichwayisup]

I am going to call his wife, not sure what to say at this point, but I really do not care anymore she is going to find out...how he is and what we have been doing, just how long and how he lied to me about he pure existance.

 

Do not call his wife. Just because you're pissed off at him and hurt right now, don't do something out of pure emotion. If you do decide to call, be prepared for all the fallout and take FULL responsibility for your part and action in this affair with the MM. Don't put all the blame on him because he's a big jerk, lying to you and treating you like crap. You are partially responsible for enabling his behaviour, putting up with his crap too and sticking around still to be in his life...

 

I am going to take back my dignity.

 

Then end it with him forever and walk away.........

[BenThereDunThat]

WWIU speaks the truth. You have got to get away from this man for good.

 

He's done this to you time and time again.

 

The only way you'll truly be able to regain your dignity, your self-esteem, is by walking away. No drama, no fights, just walk away. And then keep on walking.

 

You deserve a normal, healthy, fulfilling relationship with someone who is free to love you, be with you. Someone who won't lie to you.

 

Is this man really worth all the heartache, anger, depression you've been going through? I highly doubt it. He is not unique.

 

I made up my mind weeks ago that if I'm going to cry over someone, they damn well better deserve my tears. Lying, cheating men do not deserve all this emotion wasted on them.

 

There are plenty of available men out there looking for someone just like you! Only he won't be able to find you if you're caught up in all this drama.

[Porn_Guy]

How can you EXPECT a MM that lies to his current wife and has broken his vows.. his bond of love to his wife.. How can you expect him to tell you the truth??

It is never going to happen.. he will ALWAYS lie to you..

God A_C...truer words were never spoken.

[Seen_It_All]

Priscilla, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't this guy lie to you right from Day #1? Purposely didn't tell you he was married or told you he was separated/divorced? I seem to remember that he lied right from the start but I don't recall the particulars of the situation.

 

I'm with the others. The guy's a lying scumbag and HAS been from the get go. Any guy who'll lie to a woman he VOWED to lover and cherish - before friends, family and God is someone who'll lie to ANYONE, especially an OW if he wants to keep up the side fun.

 

As much as you may not want to hear it, the fact that you didn't dump his loser a*ss to the curb the SECOND you found out what a lying bottom feeder he was from the beginning simply gave him permission to continue using you and lying to you. His whole agenda has been nothing but lies and manipulation.

 

I hope you DO call his wife and let her know what a total sleazeball skuz she married. Please, DO.

[pricillia]

Priscilla, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't this guy lie to you right from Day #1? Purposely didn't tell you he was married or told you he was separated/divorced? I seem to remember that he lied right from the start but I don't recall the particulars of the situation.

 

I'm with the others. The guy's a lying scumbag and HAS been from the get go. Any guy who'll lie to a woman he VOWED to lover and cherish - before friends, family and God is someone who'll lie to ANYONE, especially an OW if he wants to keep up the side fun.

 

As much as you may not want to hear it, the fact that you didn't dump his loser a*ss to the curb the SECOND you found out what a lying bottom feeder he was from the beginning simply gave him permission to continue using you and lying to you. His whole agenda has been nothing but lies and manipulation.

 

I hope you DO call his wife and let her know what a total sleazeball skuz she married. Please, DO.

 

 

Yes I know, I know. I did have a night to sleep on it, I may tell I may not, I am still thinking and cotemplating about what I should do.... go NC for good, change my number and start the healing process, hopefully this will not take this long...

 

He lied to me from the beginning stated it was because he really wanted to be with me and he knew that I would not go for it otherwise.

 

I have proven that he could trust me however I don't understand why he continues to lie to me.

 

WTF why continue the lies why for what reason.... does not make any sense to me at all not at all.

 

And quite frankly I really don't give a s**t any longer...

 

I am lost.

[GreenEyedLady]

P: I know that you are upset and furious and you have every right to be...but telling his W is only going to upset you further, devastate the W and make MM furious at you...and not that I really care that he is mad, I am more concerned that you will be hurt further by him...

 

If you are so angry and ready to break it off, just break it off...no need to spread the hurt...hold your head up high and know that you are doing what's right for you...go no contact and never look back...

 

I think it best to think of the lying in a more generalized manner...people lie to protect themselves or to protect others...you know why he is lying...

 

Best of luck to ya girl...GEL

[whichwayisup]

I agree with GEL.

 

The best thing you can do for yourself is break it off with him and heal yourself. If you tell his wife, it will open a huge can of worms and I'm not sure if you want to deal with that fallout. You think things are bad now? Just wait until the sh*t hits the fan and you have an angry wife coming at you, and your own personal feelings (which I think if you do tell her, you'll regret it as soon as the words are out of your mouth) of guilt, anger and hurt.

 

Please make a rational choice about telling her, when indoubt, do nothing.....Safer all around and especially for you.

 

The sooner you can get him OUT of your life, the sooner you can heal, and feel better in general.

[pricillia]

P: I know that you are upset and furious and you have every right to be...but telling his W is only going to upset you further, devastate the W and make MM furious at you...and not that I really care that he is mad, I am more concerned that you will be hurt further by him...

 

If you are so angry and ready to break it off, just break it off...no need to spread the hurt...hold your head up high and know that you are doing what's right for you...go no contact and never look back...

 

I think it best to think of the lying in a more generalized manner...people lie to protect themselves or to protect others...you know why he is lying...

 

Best of luck to ya girl...GEL

 

I know I am just fed up probably will not tell her... I don't want to get into the middle of it but it still hurts being lied to regardless.

 

Yes he is a MM yes he does have kids, I just need to keep telling myself that. Yes I did fall in love with a liar but how did I know, when I found out he was married he flipped out and ended it, I was alright with that but then he practically begged me to come back and I believed things that he said, I am sure some of it is true, but not all of it.

 

Can men really think with thier hearts at all or are they just selfish?

[GreenEyedLady]

Men are similar to women...some think with their hearts, some think with their brains, and some just don't think...

 

And some men are selfish...everyone is selfish to a point, some are just more selfish than others...

 

Tell yourself whatever you need to to get through...but don't blame yourself for falling in love with him...

[pureinheart]

When first coming to this forum, I still didn't understand the entire truth of my situation w/mm....

 

Why did I think I was different, that MM would not lie to *me*. Really not realizing the relationship was a lie from the beginning. Sure the MM has robbed us of much, but the worst part is we allowed it to happen.

 

It took some time, although realzied I was not a victim of a liar and cheater, I was my own victim ...

 

There are mostlikely many OW out there going through the same thing, but they don't have the knowledge that you have....

 

The key to quick healing is the knowledge and understanding that he didn't screw me, he doesn't have that type of power...

 

Instead of dealing with all of the anger with him and what he did, I am dealing with me and what I did, the part I played....

[pricillia]

When first coming to this forum, I still didn't understand the entire truth of my situation w/mm....

 

Why did I think I was different, that MM would not lie to *me*. Really not realizing the relationship was a lie from the beginning. Sure the MM has robbed us of much, but the worst part is we allowed it to happen.

 

It took some time, although realzied I was not a victim of a liar and cheater, I was my own victim ...

 

There are mostlikely many OW out there going through the same thing, but they don't have the knowledge that you have....

 

The key to quick healing is the knowledge and understanding that he didn't screw me, he doesn't have that type of power...

 

Instead of dealing with all of the anger with him and what he did, I am dealing with me and what I did, the part I played....

 

Yes we OW play a part, but what keeps us in the thick of it? As women we would not want the shoe to be on the other foot, we want a healthy relationship... yes they all come with ups and downs but none the less w stll would like a healthy relationship.

 

We probably do stay in it longer than we would a real relationship if you could call it that. I am sure the feelings of love are real, but the feelings of trust... how can they be there.

 

No you can have the knowledge that he did not screw you but the fact is he lied and continues to do so, that is honestly his problem not mine, I have nothing to hide (except said relationship) and that bugs me too much.

[Meaplus3]

This is not criticism of you Pricilla and I understand you are hurting and sometimes we are just too close to everything and can't see the forest for the trees.. but..

 

How can you EXPECT a MM that lies to his current wife and has broken his vows.. his bond of love to his wife.. How can you expect him to tell you the truth??

It is never going to happen.. he will ALWAYS lie to you..

I'm sorry you feel bummed and hurt right now...

 

I hope you choose to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and never speak to him again and go out and find an available person that can love you the way you need to be loved..

 

Exactly! If he lies to her then he will continue to lie to you! These men can be very good at the game they play, for they are "player's"! I am sorry for your pain, I can feel it and I know how much it hurt's. You should walk away!

 

AP

[NoIDidn't]

I have proven that he could trust me however I don't understand why he continues to lie to me.[/QUOTe]

 

That made me sad. Because what you believe to be proving yourself was really just proving to him that you would keep his secret no matter what he said or did to you. This guy has used you and your, forgive me for this honesty, naivete from day one. Drop him like a bad habit and don't even bother to tell him why.

 

Another thing

I will tell you why you don't want to tell his W in this instance: you work with him.

 

Imagine an angry W with kids in tow, showing up at your job. She may want to berate him and/or you. And she will get an audience. People at work LUV drama. Do you really need that going on at your job?

[GreenEyedLady]

I will tell you why you don't want to tell his W in this instance: you work with him.

 

Imagine an angry W with kids in tow, showing up at your job. She may want to berate him and/or you. And she will get an audience. People at work LUV drama. Do you really need that going on at your job?

 

Excellent point NID!

[pricillia]

That made me sad. Because what you believe to be proving yourself was really just proving to him that you would keep his secret no matter what he said or did to you. This guy has used you and your, forgive me for this honesty, naivete from day one. Drop him like a bad habit and don't even bother to tell him why.

 

Another thing

I will tell you why you don't want to tell his W in this instance: you work with him.

 

Imagine an angry W with kids in tow, showing up at your job. She may want to berate him and/or you. And she will get an audience. People at work LUV drama. Do you really need that going on at your job?

 

You are right I will not tell, I was just so angry, for me I mull things over and over before I make a decision. I myself have given the advice to the OW not to tell.

 

I am only human, yes yes he is a bad habbit just a bad habbit wish they had some kind of patch for that... LOL