WhyWhyWhy Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Ok, let me give a little background information before sharing what I need help with. Ok I have always had pretty good and healthy relationships with bf's and usually once I am in a relationship it usually last for awhile. I don't think I have ever been in a relationship less than a year...the longest was 8yrs. Ok so, I am currently 30 yrs of age, I am very outgoing, have great self-esteem...truly...Im sweet, agressive to certain things, loyal , hardworker, fiesty, i make it a habit of thinking about most things before i do them. Well currently I made the decision to become celibate and have been for 6 mos. Not really dating anyone at the moment...I do have a few suitors but none I am interested in. Usually, relationship material guys are very hard for me to come by, it doesn't take a lot to impress me but you have to have some intelligence...needless to say I don't get these guys very often. So now that you have some bg info on me....here is my issue... Recently I was on the famed myspace, checking some mail I had recieved. I went to browse folks in my area and came across a guy that literally blew my mind at first glance....but hey in my world looks are not everything...he has to be the total package...and to be fair, i figured I would take a look at his profile to see what he had to say there. Now...the first thing I did was look at additonal photos....which got better and better ...lol then I read some of the things he written on his page...This made me even more impressed....then some of the blogs he had written and by the time I finished I was crushing hard, so I figured I had to send this guy a email.....*u don't know until you ask* right? So I did just that, some of the things that truly attracted me to him, physically he has the most beautiful smile, and very sexy eyes...*thats just my thing* has has a very nice body as well.... things that really attracted me: he loved his family clearly, athletic *I have a thing for athletes, since I have been one since I could walk*, he was educated, he is very intelligent based on previous awards won for academics, seem to be financially stable, no children, and most importantly he had a relationship with god. *thats very important to me* So of course I sent him an email and he responded.....Now I like to think I am a very attractive female and I am usually told so when around guys....but with this guy, he never stated that he thought I was attractive...not that this is a big deal *really don't need anyone to validate it* but u kinda wanna know if a guy thinks your attractive if you interested in getting to know him cause lets face it.....the physical is the first thing we see....He also never really ask me anything about myself in the first beginning of any of our emails....which in my past experience usually means a guy is really just not that interested.... So now after 2 1/2 weeks of emailing each other, we have both opened up a little more and told each other an extensive amount of information about ourselves. The conversations have been great, and l would like to progress further, however Im content the way it is now...cause i really want to get to know this guy. The weird thing is that after crushing on this guy, I mean I have literally been waking up in the middle of the night thinking about this guy, and sometimes I catch myself at work and the thought of him crosses my mind...which is insane, this never happens....and to be honest I don't know what to think of this....I have crushed before but not like this... Well I did find out he no longer lives in my area, he just recently moved but has family in my area. Now I have no issue with long distance relationships....my thought is the lord brings everyone into your life for a reason so open your heart up and listen....and he will guide you the rest of the way....feel me..? I guess what scares me the most about this is that, I hope that I am not setting myself up to be hurt or disappointed, crushing and not knowing if there is a real future....Im not sure at this point what to do....I keep telling myself expect nothing from this, but thats hard to believe when you have a major crush....anyone been through this and if so what did you do....? Thanks for reading WhyWhyWhy?
Poboy Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 well if you are really into this guy and know sufficient enough , meet up with him at some public place on a date or something if you do want to take this further . if he hasnt hinted for the same , you should make the move or atleast hint that way ... if you like him , dont wait too long for the best one go away easily
DanielMadr Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Putting someone on pedestal is dangerous.....one becomes needy and clingy and obsessed. That guy is not interested in you so much or he knows that compliments and lack of challenge is big turn off for girls Send him your phone # to contact you when in town....and you will see. Let me warn you....it is not very normal for a guy to have his photo on internet. He may be gay or very inexperienced/insecure etc.
Poboy Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 it is not very normal for a guy to have his photo on internet. He may be gay or very inexperienced/insecure etc. WHAT
MOMMIE Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 So what you're saying is you're "crushed" over an internet affair that didn't work out???? Did he tell you he was leaving? I think maybe DanielM is right...sounds like you shouldn't have any problems getting a nice guy..
Mermaiden Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 I'm the last hold out among my friends to get a myspace page. Let me correct that. I have one I just havent had time to do a dang thing with it. Plus the code is so crappy on the pages that it hurts my eyes & brain. Finally it dawned on me that people use it surreptiously to scan for singles near them. I might put up a page just for fun. Anyway getting back to OP. So if this guy is single he has being looking at other Myspace profiles for chicks. Dont put anyone on a pedastel ! Even the most gorgeous, richest, nicest people in the world have their bad moments. Everyone has a foul mood, lies or are general sh@ts from time to time. Think of your dream guy using the bathroom, blowing his nose, passing gas. Personal ads and blogs are great for encapsualting oneself in a perfect image. I mean a couple of my friends whom I love to death seem like different people online. Perfect glossed over idealised versions of themselves. Which I cant blame because I do the same thing myself. So please pop the bubble and bring your dream guy down to earth.
Author WhyWhyWhy Posted December 16, 2006 Author Posted December 16, 2006 Ok let me clear a few things up......I never placed this guy on a pedestal...I have acknowledged its a crush....and thats it.....it just seems this crush is a little different from anything Im used to.... Daniel I know tons of guys with there photos online, its almost mandatory these days, I don't think that makes them gay or insecure.... This is not an internet affair, its just too people who email each other...thats about it....We just started emailing each other 2 1/2 weeks and based on some of the things I am looking for in a guy he posseses....Im not sure I understand the part about did he tel me he was leaving, he had a job in my area but has recently moved back to his old hometown...hope that clarifies. And don't get me wrong....I know people make themselves out to be the greatest people in the world...thats fine....This was not him saying "Im rich and famous and drive fancy cars" This was just him talking about certain experiences he has had over the years and what he has learned....nothing more...I was basically stating he has some qualites that I really like or that I would see in a potential mate....nothing more... Thanks Again
MOMMIE Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 I joined this site for advice, which means getting opinions of others...we may not always agree with it, but sometimes a differenct point of view helps out a lot....obviously you feel that your 2 week internet "whatever" has left you baffled enough to "ask the opinion of others"....I simply asked about his moving because I thought you were saying that he just up and left and didn't tell you....sorry for inquiring...and just for the record, i'll be the first to admit i'm not perfect....this reply is case in point...good luck to you
Author WhyWhyWhy Posted December 16, 2006 Author Posted December 16, 2006 Mommie....I was not trying to be rude....I was just trying to clarify what was really going on....no meaness intended...
MOMMIE Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 All this stuff is new to me, and I ask all these questions....I had never heard of "my space" and I don't even know where to begin to start meeting people online, but I know a lot of people do it.....I was married for a long time, and the whole dating thing is new to me..I hope everything works out with the "crush":)
pureinheart Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 Hey, I hear ya and understand completely! OMG, I guess I'm crushing bad too and this is crazy....I have so little to go on....hey I like MySpace, my son got me on it and have met some really cool people. My suggestion is just to pray about this and give it to God (it's soooo hard) and ask Him to not allow a meeting to take place unless it is God. If the meeting is allowed to take place, it might not be what you think, there might be other reasons for this... I met this guy at work, he is real shy....the last few days he has paid a lot of attention to me, but he could just be being nice ( I know where your coming from and really hate this)....well he is normally quiet and does try to get my attention...anyway....last night (I work swing shift) one of the guys came in to do some work and "my shy guy" came in (me and the other guy were talking) and shot this other guy a dirty look, like "what are you doing in here".....you know how guys can size each other up in a split second with just a glance.... I know I read that right, most of the time things don't register until later, but OMG I have to be right on that one.... I too have been thinking about my shy guy a lot, and normally it takes a long time for me to get to this point....the guy has to really chase me, I have to KNOW he is interested before going anywhere with it....all of this has been so subtle and I'm afraid of a fall....ya I feel ya.....
sb129 Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 2 1/2 weeks isn't that long. I know a guy who didn't call a girl for SIX WEEKS after their first date, and now they are married. He is very very lucky that she went on a second date, but he had alot going on at the time. Maybe your guy is busy with moving etc. Make a move- send you number... and if it doesn't work out you sound like a good catch for someone else..
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