Guest Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 I have been seeing an engaged guy for about 5 months now. From the beginning, we decided this would be a no strings attached relationship. At first it was easy, but now I have started to develop feelings for him. He tells me that he is miserable in his relationship. T hey have a 2 yr old together. He has even told me that if they didn't have a child together, they wouldn't be together. I tried to make him go away once before, but I couldn't stick to it. I have alot of good guys asking me out, but I can't get away from this guy. I am ready to settle down and get married, but I think as long as I keep seeing him, I will never commit to someone else. Someone please help.
oyster Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 I am ready to settle down and get married, but I think as long as I keep seeing him, I will never commit to someone else. Someone please help. take those guy's offer, explore them, they might be AVAILABLE. I had same feelings like you but over time it will kill you.
puddleofmud Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 They have a two year old child which takes precedent. Bow out gracefully knowing that YOU have taken this child to heart and are the better person for this, as you seek and value marriage and children. Remember your values and you will have a lovely life with a wonderful partner filled with many babies and everything you wish! Best wishes and Kindest Regards!
cranium Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 I have been seeing an engaged guy for about 5 months now. .... He tells me that he is miserable in his relationship. They have a 2 yr old together. He has even told me that if they didn't have a child together, they wouldn't be together. He'll tell you whatever he thinks you need to hear to keep you on the side. I am ready to settle down and get married, but I think as long as I keep seeing him, I will never commit to someone else. He's engaged, but evidently not ready for his commitment. If he's cheating with you now, he'll eventually cheat on you. You deserve better than a relationship built on deceit.
Seen_It_All Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 Cranium's right - I wouldn't trust this sleaze to walk my DOG much less trust him with my life. No 'words' can make you break away from this low life. You simply need to remove the rose-colored glasses and see him for the loser he is.
ratingsguy Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 Has he also fallen for you? If so, at least he's not married... all he would have to do is call off the engagement and break up with his fiance. Not that that would be easy, but it's much easier to get out of a R as opposed to a M. I can't tell you to run away screaming from the STBMM like most people will, because I don't know your whole situation. If you think he's worth pursuing, then you need to tell him to get out of the bad relationship that he says he's in. Enforce NC if necessary. Then make a decision. Good luck!
frannie Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 I agree with Ratingsguy. He may have a child with his fiancee, but they're not (yet) married. It is a whole lot easier for him to walk away at the moment than it is to go through a divorce.
Trialbyfire Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 There's no difference between common-law with child and married with child... It's your bed and your choice. Keep in mind that he's already sharing his bed with someone else.
norajane Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 I have been seeing an engaged guy for about 5 months now. From the beginning, we decided this would be a no strings attached relationship. At first it was easy, but now I have started to develop feelings for him. He tells me that he is miserable in his relationship. T hey have a 2 yr old together. He has even told me that if they didn't have a child together, they wouldn't be together. I tried to make him go away once before, but I couldn't stick to it. I have alot of good guys asking me out, but I can't get away from this guy. I am ready to settle down and get married, but I think as long as I keep seeing him, I will never commit to someone else. Someone please help. If you are ready to settle down and get married, this man would hold no appeal for you. 5 months ago when you agreed to no-strings, were you ready to settle down and get married? What has changed? If you have changed to the point where you want someone in your life whose loyalties are not divided, a man who's all about you and only you, then you know what you have to do. You have to end this relationship NOW before years go by and you watch him get married, have more kids, and he's still telling you he's unhappy. Don't string yourself along hoping he'll "see the light" and break up with her to be with you.
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 Or if he does end up with you, how can you trust him fully? Seeing as he's engaged, and has a child already, DO you really believe that he can stay faithful to you and not find someone else on the side? The longer you waste time with him, you COULD possibly miss the boat! You're missing chances of meeting amazing SINGLE and AVAILABLE men, for some almost married guy who cheats on his fiancee, and is betraying his own child.
GreenEyedLady Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 I agree with Ratingsguy. He may have a child with his fiancee, but they're not (yet) married. It is a whole lot easier for him to walk away at the moment than it is to go through a divorce. I agree as well, although, he obviously isn't ready to get married even if you are...I don't know his age, but that might have something to do with it...
pureinheart Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 take those guy's offer, explore them, they might be AVAILABLE. I had same feelings like you but over time it will kill you. Oyster is soooo right....the same thing happened to me, had some opportunities and then no opportunities because of the tie w/mm. I's like I had a sign on me or something....it has taken awhile for that "sign" to vanish....
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