Someoneconfused Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 i am wondering now about one guy that i met sometimes ago. We started dating each other for few months . Sometimes we had a romantic dinner , or just a simple dinner with his friends, or have a drink with his buddies. I love his friends and i could mingle with them. I know quite numbers of his friend , i dont say all his friends but he did introduce me to many of his friends. And when his friends were around , he liked to hold me as if he wanted people to know that i am not "available". And the other thing is he liked to tell me about his family , this and that.he is not a rich guy but i found him very sweet and kind hearted , funny guy. i simply like him , just him as a person. After sometimes we made love and the sex was great. there was no " official " statement to be bf and gf yet it seemed that we were moving towards that direction. He did tell me that he likes me and he tried to convinced me that it woudl be good if he and i to be together. but the sad thing was one day he told me that he had to leave because of his job posting . He would be posted overseas for at least 2 or 3 years . so in the end of the day we decided that we would not go for LDR. Because we dont know when the end of the LDR would be. my friends told me to forget him and they said that he might only used me for sex and temporary companion before he went to overseas. when i heard that i am so hurt and i began to wonder if it is true. was it just his game to get sex before he went overseas? how to know when someone really likes you and doesnt simply use u for other purpose ? some pepole said if a guy after slept with you and he still contact you again and treat you the same way, he really likes you. is that true? was i just his toy ?please give feedback...
KolzarAAV Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 I don't think he used you, if you say that you liked his personality. But you never know what man thinks. Maybe he didn't even know himself that he would go overseas?
MOMMIE Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 My take is...if he just wanted sex, he could have gotten "sex" from anywhere...I don't think he would be talking to you about his family and taking you around his friends if he considered you a "trick"...I hope you two can work it out
TheDC Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 If you had been dating for months prior to his leaving then chances are he didn't know that he was going to be going overseas before hooking up with you. He probably didn't want to put the relationship on hold when the possibility arose that he would be going overseas. Besides did you enjoy your time with him?
someoneconfused Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 If you had been dating for months prior to his leaving then chances are he didn't know that he was going to be going overseas before hooking up with you. He probably didn't want to put the relationship on hold when the possibility arose that he would be going overseas. Besides did you enjoy your time with him? The thing that makes me disappointed is few days before he left, he didn't want to meet me . i was wondering what was happening. He didn't pick up my call and he canceled our last dinner.before he acted weird , he told me that he always like me and he has feeling for me but after that he ignored me. Until now i haven't heard anything from him. I don't even know if he is alive or not. Next month i will fly for business trip and it is rather near to where he leaves now. And next month is his birthday. I do wonder if i should meet him or just forget it ?
TheDC Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 That's not too easy to read. It could be that he really never had feelings and that now he is away it's easy to ignore you. However, it could be that he has strong feelings for you but to keep in contact with you when he can't be with you is too painful. I know if it were me and I real feelings for a girl but for one reason or another could no longer be with her I'd have to have some time away from her. Sorry I know this probably wasn't what you wanted to hear but that's all I have. But you have to ask yourself, why is it that you are still investing so much emotions into a relationship, that is esentially over. Do you plan on waiting for him for the next 2 to 3 years for him to return? Will he?
someoneconfused Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 That's not too easy to read. It could be that he really never had feelings and that now he is away it's easy to ignore you. However, it could be that he has strong feelings for you but to keep in contact with you when he can't be with you is too painful. I know if it were me and I real feelings for a girl but for one reason or another could no longer be with her I'd have to have some time away from her. Sorry I know this probably wasn't what you wanted to hear but that's all I have. But you have to ask yourself, why is it that you are still investing so much emotions into a relationship, that is esentially over. Do you plan on waiting for him for the next 2 to 3 years for him to return? Will he? Hi DC, thanks for your feedback. He left just last month. So it is kinda "fresh" in my mind. And i jsut want to know if he used me or it is something sweet to remember. Anyway, You got the point. Actually i was mentally prepared to see him away . A week before he left , i was so affected emotionally but after few days i was kinda able to accept the fact the he was leaving. So i just met him when it was possible. I just couldnt agree with him to acted that way. The last meeting with him, we had a great time, he kissed me and hugged me asked me to take care of my self well. He said he might be back but dont know when. He said he didnt want to hurt me. I am not gonna wait for him . Like you said, why should i invest my emotion when it is totally over ? you are right.
Bene Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 That's not too easy to read. It could be that he really never had feelings and that now he is away it's easy to ignore you. However, it could be that he has strong feelings for you but to keep in contact with you when he can't be with you is too painful. I know if it were me and I real feelings for a girl but for one reason or another could no longer be with her I'd have to have some time away from her. Sorry I know this probably wasn't what you wanted to hear but that's all I have. But you have to ask yourself, why is it that you are still investing so much emotions into a relationship, that is esentially over. Do you plan on waiting for him for the next 2 to 3 years for him to return? Will he? It may be a little late yet i want to comment on this since i had similar experience. I agree with DC. I had been in your shoes. based on your story, i dont think he used you for sex. He might really like you yet he didnt want both of you and him to be hurt. Sometimes guy can be weaker than girl when it comes to feeling. It just that they dont say it or talk about it and they tend to do what is the opposite of their feeling because they want to be in control. i had feeling for one girl and for some reason i couldnt be with her. I really really liked her yet i had no choice , i chose to avoid her. Not because i didnt love her . In fact because i cared about how she would feel i did that. I didnt want her to be sad , i couldnt barely look at her sad eyes. When you really care about someone, you dont do always do what he or she wants. Even you have to swallow the pain to do what is the opposite of your feeling because you know that would be better for her / him. Hope it helps.
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