Guest Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 I am so sad right now and I don't know why. I should be over it but I am not. I still hurt daily... not as much as before but it still hurts. It has been 2 years since my ex broke up with me for no reason, and never ever called me again. We were very close (or so I thought) supposed to get married, he was always the sweetest guy ever!!! Always did such nice things for me, flowers, phone calls, etc.... Then out of no where said he didn't love me anymore, and that he needed to find himself. We were together for 2 years, and I was really close to his family. Anyway I saw his myspace page and saw that now he is in a relationship, and I just felt so horrible! I know it has been a long time, and he has moved on but it still hurts that he is with someone else, telling he that he loves her.... To make things even worse I bumped into his brother last night, who I haven't seen since the break up. We stopped and talked real quick about what we were up to, and I of course acted great, but I was sad inside. I have been with my recent b/f for 1 1/2 years, but I am still hurt. Sometimes I just feel like my b/f is so insensitive, and nothing like my ex.... Am i crazy for being this upset after 2 years!! Please help me feel like one day it won't bother me anymore..
Cub Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 I think it's natural to feel jealous about that, whether the dumper or the dumpee. Don't ask me why; I'm sure there's some psychological reason that would confuse me to no end, but I'm not too concerned about that. The point is it happens, but don't let it consume you. It's been 2 years and you haven't even heard from this guy, it's quite clear that he doesn't care about you and if he dumped you as suddenly as you say he did then he never did. I know it sounds harsh, but just forget about him. The fact that he let you go like that says that he wasn't the sweet guy you remember him as and he isn't worth your time. Just focus on your current relationship, DO NOT try to compare it with your last one and keep living your life. I say this because if you keep thinking in terms of your ex then you wll never be happy! You're caught up in a dream of what you thought he was, a dream that no one, not your current beau, any of your future beaus or even your ex beau will ever live up to, so let it go.
dropdeadlegs Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 I really hope the best for you, but it kinda sounds like that Hinder song to me. "My girl's in the next room, sometimes I wish she was you." That song doesn't sit with me well.... sure your'e okay?
D-Lish Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 Sometimes I think that when a relationship ends without closure... the pain lingers a little longer than if there is closure involved. It's like an open wound that never gets stitched, so it doesn't heal properly. I have heard some people on this site comment that closure is over rated. I personally don't believe this. I happen to think it's very important. I've always been pretty good at getting over the relationships where there has been some closure involved. It's when it's left open, and questions are left unanswered that I find myself lingering in the pain longer than usual. Perhaps what you need to do is find a way to put that relationship to rest. You have to make your own closure on that so you can immerse yourself in the life and relationship you are having now. What keeps you stuck in the past? Figure out what that is and rectify it. But it is normal to have a relapse every once and a while. I saw my ex husband's brother in the grocery store the other day and I felt sick to my stomache afterward. Even though it's been 3 years since we divorced. I'm fine now though... it was just a momentary relapse. Those things happen. Maybe it's just a matter of knowing the difference between a relapse and the inability to let go. If it's a relapse- you're going to be fine. If you are unable to let go~ well, that might be an issue you should find a way to resolve. If you have thoughts or questions, or just want to vent.... keep posting here, we're here to listen and support! D
rob1sinner Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 im kinda in a situation like you....i was feeling like i was going crazy as well. sucks i know. check out my post buddy.
Isabella82 Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Thanks guys, that was me who posted. I am just still sad, but I am trying to not let it bother me. I told my b/f that I saw his myspace page, and he told me that I was acting psycho and that I shouldn't look at this page, or even care whats going on in his life because it has been over 2 years... and obviously he didn't love me if he just broke up with me like that. I agree that it is because of the way it ended, but it is more painful to think that he threw me away like trash, and the one time we talked afterwards he was so mean to me, telling me that he threw away anything that reminded him of me.... when I did nothing to deserve him to treat me that way.... I know I need to stop looking at his page, but I just can't help it. Everytime I look at it I get so sad... this is his first relationship since we have broken up... and I have had a few relationships since then. I do love my b/f but I still hurt inside. I just hope one day it doesn't bother me anymore. Cub you are right I have had so many people tell me that the person I thought he was is not really him But I guess it just hurts, because if you could just see what they write to eachother on myspace.... its exactly the same things he used to say to me. It just makes me feel like what does she have that I don't and how could he just leave me like that... so cold so mean Thanks for your help guys Happy Holidays
Isabella82 Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 My mom just makes me feel worse about it...saying that it was my personality for the reason why he broke up with me. Its a long story... basically he used to tell me not to talk about our relationship with other people, because it was our business.... but then he would go to my parents and complain about me. Never let me know any of this, always acted like we were doing great. I took the break up as a total surprise and no one else did. If he really wanted to work on things then he should have just talked to me about it, instead of talking behind my back, and then acting like everything was fine with me. My mom just makes me feel like S**t I mean that is so mean of her to say.
D-Lish Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Ummm, our mom's are supposed to be on our side!! What's up with that?
dropdeadlegs Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 Ummm, our mom's are supposed to be on our side!! What's up with that? Sometimes your Mom can see things about you that you just can't see yourself. I sometimes feel this way about my oldest son. His girlfriend doesn't talk to me often about him, but she doesn't tell me anything that I don't know and I wouldn't blame her for leaving him over. On the other hand, some Mom's are simply toxic. Mothers are not immune to that syndrome. Toxic people will generally become toxic parents.
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