someone2 Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Ok, my weird question of the week. In the past, whenever a girl said "no" to me, I'd turn incommunicado right away. Even if I was interested in just being friends (I am talking here about the kind you meet at parties or at work, not the kind that you have known for a long time). I was wondering if it is ok to actually make the first move and try to act as nothing has happened and be friendly? I *really* am no longer interested in anything more. But I get worried that maybe she'd start reading too much into it. So, ladies, if you turn down a guy, and he starts acting friendly as if nothing happened, do you start to get suspicious? Or do you find it totally ok? Maybe I was just overreacting in the past?
IpAncA Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 So, ladies, if you turn down a guy, and he starts acting friendly as if nothing happened, do you start to get suspicious? Nope. I prefer it that way myself. I still want to remain friends with him. Just not in the way that he wants. I don't want it to get akward because I said no. Thats just crazy.
Mermaiden Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 If I am at all interested in a guy, I will always leave the hint of a possible opening in the future. Say I'm swamped with work, family issues, health problems, whatever. If I have no interest, then I will simply say no thank you or invent a boyfriend.
IpAncA Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Nope. I prefer it that way myself. I still want to remain friends with him. Just not in the way that he wants. I don't want it to get akward because I said no. Thats just crazy. Ok I so read your post wrong. Attached a "I'm Stupid" sticker on my head. No I wouldn't think it was werid to act like nothing happend.
monkey00 Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Ok, my weird question of the week. In the past, whenever a girl said "no" to me, I'd turn incommunicado right away. Even if I was interested in just being friends (I am talking here about the kind you meet at parties or at work, not the kind that you have known for a long time). I was wondering if it is ok to actually make the first move and try to act as nothing has happened and be friendly? I *really* am no longer interested in anything more. But I get worried that maybe she'd start reading too much into it. So, ladies, if you turn down a guy, and he starts acting friendly as if nothing happened, do you start to get suspicious? Or do you find it totally ok? Maybe I was just overreacting in the past? generally that's the way a mature person should act. A lot of people do that, so it's normal. But as it applies to either sex, it depends on the maturity of the person and how well they handle rejection. The ones that cant handle it usually will avoid you/give you the cold shoulder afterwards...especially in the case that they still hope to get in your pants. as for your question, if the girl reads too much into it...then she must have a pretty inflated ego if she thinks the universe revolves around her.
Porn_Guy Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 So, ladies, if you turn down a guy, and he starts acting friendly as if nothing happened, do you start to get suspicious? Or do you find it totally ok? ahh...paralysis by analysis
Antheia Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Well, depends on how friendly you plan on acting. If you just chat to her every now and then that's fine. However if you go oveboard and start going out of your way to touch her, compliment her and ask her to dinner "just as friends" then yeah, I would assume you would still want more. That's what happened to me recently. Some guy asked me out to dinner as friends after I rejected him in romantic sense. I said no to dinner and told him that it would only be leading him on. He got mad and swore that he now really only wants to be friends and I'm stuck up bitch for thinking otherwise.
nips5050 Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Ok, my weird question of the week. In the past, whenever a girl said "no" to me, I'd turn incommunicado right away. Even if I was interested in just being friends (I am talking here about the kind you meet at parties or at work, not the kind that you have known for a long time). I was wondering if it is ok to actually make the first move and try to act as nothing has happened and be friendly? I *really* am no longer interested in anything more. But I get worried that maybe she'd start reading too much into it. So, ladies, if you turn down a guy, and he starts acting friendly as if nothing happened, do you start to get suspicious? Or do you find it totally ok? Maybe I was just overreacting in the past? I hate it when guys do that. It just makes everything more awkward and it makes me not want to talk to them either!!! I think backing off and being more of a casual friend is good. Acting the way you used to, probably was obvious you liked her. Treat her like a friend and you'll be fine in her book.
Trialbyfire Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 It happened to me not too long ago but he was pretty cool about it and backed off right away. We still keep in touch as casual friends though, which is perfect.
Shrelana Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 I never had much experience in the dating realm (my fiance was my first and only bf). I know that when I say no to a guy about anything, from mere friendship to romantic inuendos, I mean NO. I don't know if that's how the average girl reacts...I'm not much of an average girl myself...little bit of a tomboy I know that I have had to deal with guys telling me with all seriousness that they were gonna kill me and do other things, which could have something to do with what I mean when I say no. It could be that some girls just get a bad vibe, and it may not even be you, it may be that they just don't feel safe for some reason and don't intend to trust anyone they don't know (have done/seen that too). Perhaps you could just talk to her next time that happens, keeping it to small talk for a while?
Author someone2 Posted December 15, 2006 Author Posted December 15, 2006 Great. Thanks a lot for all the replys. These have been great eye-openers. So, we can sum everything up in the following 2 rules 1. If you still have feelings, it is probably better to stay away, because the girl will sense it and become uncomfortable 2. If you no longer have any feelings and you really moved on, you can be friendly (provided that you REALLY don't have any hidden intentions). This sound pretty cool to me I had lots of girls in category 2 that I never spoke too. I guess I have been missing a lot
KolzarAAV Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 I've made friends with all my previous girlfriends, this is very helpful and improves your knowledge
staRRz Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 From my past experiences I have made good friends that way. I think that being open-minded about any relationship is important, to a point. Because I have also run into some obsessed guys, and that's scary.
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