total relapse...

[D-Lish]

I don't know if it's the holidays approaching, or the lack of closure... but I just can't seem to get past missing my ex.

 

He's still on my mind 24/7, even after 3 months of NC.

It's not like I want to be in this state of misery, I truly want to get past it! I keep myself busy, go to the gym, get out with friends... but the longing for him just won't go away.

 

I have all these unresolved feelings of guilt churning about in my brain. When he broke up with me he unleashed everything about me he didn't like, things he had never brought up over the course of our relationship that he obviously let fester and turn into resentment. I had no idea things were off course between us until he dumped me. He was pretty harsh with his criticisms and blame when he let me go- and those are the thoughts that keep running through my head, and just won't go away.

 

I've dated others, even had a couple flings. But nothing seems to console me. This forum is the only place that I vent because I am sick of burdening my friends and family who think I should be well over him by now.

 

I know in my heart that the relationship is done. He hasn't spoken to me or responded to my few attempts at e-mail. It's not that I'm still hoping he'll come back- I'm just not able to stop grieving the loss.

 

He wasn't perfect, he certainly had his flaws. I think I'm just stuck on the harsh things he said about me when he dumped me over the phone. It was more or less an attack on my character and I can't seem to shake the hurt I feel over those things he said. I just keep playing the crappy things he said about me over and over in my head and am questioning whether or not I'm a terrible person. I don't think I am (although I understand my flaws)- but it hurts that he thinks I am.

I think that is what is stopping me from moving on.

 

I can't help but be frustrated that he never brought up his issues until the very end. if he had have communicated his frustrations with me, I would have made every effort possible to work on what was bothering him. Now that I have an understanding of what was irking him... I'm upset that I never had the opportunity to change those things while we were together.

 

Sorry this is so long. I'm just venting. I want to get over this heartache and move forward. The depression at the moment is pretty overwhelming.

He just went from this caring loving guy to this cold as ice jerk. One moment we're looking at houses together, and the next thing I know he thinks I'm an awful person. I can't seem to get past that.

 

How are the rest of you managing to move forward?

Anything working for you that might help me out?

Appreciated. I need to take my life back.

D

[Porn_Guy]

this is terrible D-L....I feel for you. unfortuantely many times the best men are also the worst men. trust me, i know.

[D-Lish]

this is terrible D-L....I feel for you. unfortuantely many times the best men are also the worst men. trust me, i know.

 

Hmm, maybe you can provide me with some insight into the red flags to look for the next time around then...? Cuz I keep choosing the wrong men...

 

At my age and with all my experience dating the wrong guys, you'd think I'd have learned how to pick 'em a little better...

Thanks for the kind words.

Dee

[Yamaha]

Most people keep picking the same type of people over and over again. It is a fact and one that is hard to change as what draws us to another person is what attracts us. You have to change what you find attractive and condition yourself to see other types of people in a positive way.

 

I really don't think your over your ex as it still sounds like you are holding onto hope. if you don't want to get together then why does his words hurt you? Do you believe his words? I think these are just mis-directions to keep you focused on your hope. Once you let go of the hope his words will cease to affect you.

[BannaBee57]

Ouch D. Sorry your still hurting.

 

Remember, three months isn't that long in the whole scheme of things. Hey, it's been five months for me and I still think about him constantly and feel like crying and sometimes do. I know this is because of the few times I've run into him and that one damn phone call!! Argh, kill me now!

 

At least you aren't still hoping for a second chance. This will probably help you to move on a lot faster than me. I think it might help for you to look at it this way. You are not a bad person and if he thought you were, then he must not have really known the real you. He just looked at you in a shallow manner and only saw his own sad reflection. The reason I know that you are not a bad person is because you are here on this forum, not only looking for help yourself, but helping tons of other people with your relationship knowledge. So, get these thoughts out of your head! Know that you are a caring, smart, gentle person and he is just too up his own a** to see that. I think you will be able to move on soon and then you can find someone who can see all these wonderful things about you and also accept your flaws without blowing things out of proportion.

 

Now, if only I could take my own advice and stop blaming myself for my current sad state

[D-Lish]

Thanks BB,

 

Your words hit home. I too am great at giving advice to others, but when it comes to myself, I sometimes feel lost as to how to handle my own relationship evils.

 

I guess it really does come down to meeting the right person who can accept my good qualities along with the deficiencies. We all have them. I mean, my ex certainly had them, but I loved him regardless. I guess I was hoping he was capable of doing the same for me, ya know?

 

I still love my ex, I just know there isn't any hope for reconciliation, so I'm doing my best to move forward.

 

Why do I still let his words hold weight? I'm not sure Yamaha. I guess because his lashing out at me really made me focus on what is flawed about me. The things he attacked me for are things integral to my personality... so I guess it has me second guessing my self worth.

 

One day at a time I guess eh?

I just want the holidays to be over.

 

Thanks BB, it's nice to be here and know I'm not alone in all of this.

Your words are kind and really do help.

Dee

[Art_Critic]

He's still on my mind 24/7, even after 3 months of NC.

 

 

I've dated others, even had a couple flings. But nothing seems to console me. This forum is the only place that I vent because I am sick of burdening my friends and family who think I should be well over him by now.

 

Time... I know the feeling.. it happened to me with an ex from a couple of years ago..

 

Time is the only thing that works.. that and keep putting yourself out there.

I finally met a great girl after a great deal of dating misery...

 

You will get over him.. but only when the time is right and your heart is ready..

[D-Lish]

It's funny Art, but when I first joined this forum I was inspired by your tagline "if you love someone, tell them..." and I sent my ex a heartwarming e-mail pouring my little broken heart out to him... and he never responded. Then I regretted it and now I blame you! haha, just kidding. You give a lot of inspiring advice on here.

 

Ahhh, time, yes. And the dating misery is where I'm at right now. I was talking to a guy on e-mail for a while that I met on online dating... and he was nice and gentlemen-ly and cute. Then he sprung on me that he wanted me to mail him my underwear... after I'd worn them. ahhh, so sweet. DELETE! DELETE!

 

I'm still waiting for that guy to sweep me off my feet. Gotta kiss a lot of frogs first I suppose. I just hope those frogs stay away from my underwear drawer! SIlly frogs.. "hey, where did you go little one? HEY! GET THE HELL OUT MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER!"

 

Stable and normal... any of those ones left out there?

Thanks Art.

D

[norajane]

Then he sprung on me that he wanted me to mail him my underwear...

 

 

Actually, I think it's illegal to mail worn underwear...

 

 

Don't worry, D. Relapse happens. It's part of the letting go process. It can be three steps forward, one step back (sometimes three steps back!) - but there is progress even though it doesn't feel like it right now.

 

He lashed out at you because he needed to push you away, for whatever reason. And because he knew you well, he knew just what to say to hurt you most. Doesn't mean anything he said is "true" so don't question who you are and whether there's anything at all wrong with your personality.

[D-Lish]

Actually, I think it's illegal to mail worn underwear...

 

phew! Strangely enough...I suspect it happens...often enough!

Not from this girl though!

 

Thanks NJ. Rough periods happen, I know that.

Oddly enough... I've seen a lot of your posts giving advice and support... but do you have a story?

Just curious.

D

[Trialbyfire]

He lashed out at you because he needed to push you away, for whatever reason. And because he knew you well, he knew just what to say to hurt you most. Doesn't mean anything he said is "true" so don't question who you are and whether there's anything at all wrong with your personality.

This is so true, isn't it? Think about when you have one of those intense arguments. Don't both of you push buttons and bring out the heavy artillery?

[Guest]

I actually had the same situation happen to me sometime back in May. Sad thing, I saw it coming too. She had a friend who she was incredibly frustrated with and then one day she blew up at her, and never spoke to her friend again, even when the friend attempted to mend the broken relationship. At the time I thought to myself, "****, if she can't tell her friends things that are bothering her, then what is she keeping from me?"

 

I guess the point of my story is this: You can't control the other person. You can't make them act rationally or understand your point of view. Being in a relationship is not like taking a course in college. Despite how much time and effort you put into it, you much less control over how well the relationship will go. Even if you calmly and logically address the problems in your relationship with your partner, there is no guarantee that the person will do anyting to correct what you perceive the problem to be. Infact, they'll probably get really defensive.

 

Another example, my ex came to me once and laid guilt trip on me about how I didn't want to see her as much she wanted to see me. This was at the end of finals week (yes, I'm still in college) and we hadn't seen each other in 6 days. I felt bad I hadn't called her, but at the same time she hadn't called me either. And for the most part, she rarely ever called me and asked me to do anything. She just sat around and waited for me to call her and would get mad when I didn't.

 

Sad thing is, I still miss her sometimes. And I know she doesn't care about me (and probably never really did, I just was a source of affirmation). I say all this, but really, no rationalization can justify it, and I will never truly know what happened. Trying to find a way to stop thinking about it is the best way. I know this is incredibly tough to do. Because even when you think about all the bad things person did to you, or all of their bad qualities, you are still thinking about that person. Inevitably (at least for me), this ultimately leads to thinking about the good qualities as well and why you miss them. Then you feel bad for missing them and start to think of their bad qualities (and the vicious cycle continues).

 

I hope what I told you had helped. I am sympathetic (and since my thinghas been bothering lately, I need some room to vent. Selfish, I know).

[Art_Critic]

Then he sprung on me that he wanted me to mail him my underwear... after I'd worn them.

 

Oh jeez... I'll bet he has dozens of women doing that right now..

I always wait until at least the first date to ask my dates for their underwear:laugh:

 

Maybe it is time for me to change my siggy line...I do believe in the power of those words.. but sometimes they can fall on deaf ears..

[upsetnhurt]

D Lish......

 

I first must say that your advice to others provide many with great inspiration so thanks for that! I read your story and can't stop thinking that you have put your ex and your relationship with him on such a pedestal that nothing can break it down. Did you ever think that he just may not be the greatest guy that you have made him to be. I see it from an outside perspective of course, yet maybe the guy who told you such horrible things and the one who has chosen to ignore your attempts at communication is really the type of guy he always has been???? Knowing these characteristics beforehand, would you even attempt to date someone like this today? Hell...he might even be worse than the underwear guy (although he has his own set of problems )! Once you can see that your ex would have never made you completely happy as a person you will be able to get over him. I wish you the best as you seem like a great person and one that should be cherished for all these great qualities you present on this forum.

[bluescreenlife]

Hey D, I know how you feel... yesterday was a year since my ex and I broke up and I had a bit of a relapse when I realized that too.

 

I'm sure that deep down you know you're a good person - you probably don't even have to go that deep. It can be really compelling when someone you've been intimate with lays that stuff on you, but you learn to see through it... I'm sure you're not perfect, but there's no way he was being fair with you. If he's like my ex, he needed to convince himself he was making the right decision, so he magnified all the negative parts of the relationship and put them all onto you. It's not fair and it's not reality... there may be some things you should work on if you want to be perfect (& good luck not being human!) but overall his view is a load of negative bull.

 

I'm sure you know all that and you're going to be fine. & all the best for the holidays...

[LaughMachine]

yeah yeah even after a year and 5 months later I can still sympathsize with you all. But d-ish I have to give you credit for atleast pushing your self towards moving on. But hun think about it, It's only been three months for you??? When it was 3 months for me I was still in la la land with ache that literally left a burning sensation in my heart. It's still so raw, so new for you to be feeling better!

 

I say give it time girl, time will help alot and if it doesn't truely heal you it will defiently be a great tool for you to overcome alot of angst you feel towards your ex. Your beautiful and Its evident that your intelligent. Why not try to put all that towards good use instead of guys?

[norajane]

Thanks NJ. Rough periods happen, I know that.

Oddly enough... I've seen a lot of your posts giving advice and support... but do you have a story?

Just curious.

D

 

I have lots of stories - you don't get to be 39 without any stories! Right now, I'm trying to "find myself" again after moving cross-country. I need to figure out what to do next career-wise, and have been seeing my honey for a couple years. He and I have known each other a long time and we love each other, but he's not the marrying kind, so I'm not sure where we'll end up either.

 

Another example, my ex came to me once and laid guilt trip on me about how I didn't want to see her as much she wanted to see me. This was at the end of finals week (yes, I'm still in college) and we hadn't seen each other in 6 days. I felt bad I hadn't called her, but at the same time she hadn't called me either. And for the most part, she rarely ever called me and asked me to do anything. She just sat around and waited for me to call her and would get mad when I didn't.

 

I know this one! It wasn't a guilt trip - she really believed that you didn't want to see her as much as she did. It wasn't just the 6 days of finals - it was your whole relationship. She didn't call you because she'd probably learned it did no good - unless you called when you wanted to see her, you probably didn't get together. Guys who WANT to be with you, really do call.

[D-Lish]

D Lish......

 

I first must say that your advice to others provide many with great inspiration so thanks for that! I read your story and can't stop thinking that you have put your ex and your relationship with him on such a pedestal that nothing can break it down. Did you ever think that he just may not be the greatest guy that you have made him to be. I see it from an outside perspective of course, yet maybe the guy who told you such horrible things and the one who has chosen to ignore your attempts at communication is really the type of guy he always has been???? Knowing these characteristics beforehand, would you even attempt to date someone like this today? Hell...he might even be worse than the underwear guy (although he has his own set of problems )! Once you can see that your ex would have never made you completely happy as a person you will be able to get over him. I wish you the best as you seem like a great person and one that should be cherished for all these great qualities you present on this forum.

 

Thanks!

Yes, when I look at the situation from a rational standpoint, I can see that he was never really the guy for me. Looking back, I recognize a lot of red flags that should have clued me in. The way he trashed every single ex gf, he had nothing good to say about anyone he's ever dated. He had a destructive relationship with his dominant mother... and he had a negative view on women in general. And he had a non-existant sex-drive. Those things were of course things I thought I could "change" about him... Stupid of me to think that.

 

I'm focused on moving on now.

I know in my heart that I'm not a bad person- I'm flawed of course, like everyone else. But also rational and deeply loyal and loving. Not all the time- but that's what I consider myself to be at the core.

 

Thanks everyone for your support and kind words. It's been such a relief to find this place. It's nice to be able to share and lament and offer help wherever possible.

 

I'm so sick of being sad. Sharing and recieving here makes me a little less sad though- and that's a good thing... for all of us I think.

 

:-)

D

[Don Quijote]

Hi D,

 

First, I must echo the sentiments of others in that your input (especially from a woman's perspective) has been very helpful to many of us Love Shack surfers. I have a lot of respect for what you have to say and I bet more people than you realize are touched and influenced by the words that you type.

 

As for your issue, I think there is nothing you can do but feel the pain and deal with it one day at a time. It is totally okay to be sad, especially this time of year. There is no shortcut on this one. Cry, get mad, get sad and then shake it off. Take solace in the fact that the one advantage that you have that many of us (and our former SO's) do not have is insight. At this stage you have the ability to see the pros and cons of your former man, can comment on your own personal growth/ improvement and you also have the ability to feel appropriate emotions given the situations that you find yourself in (which is probably why you give such great advice). That is a definite sign of improvement. Do you think you were able to express yourself so freely about your breakup at the beginning of this mess??? This means that you are moving past this.

 

So whenever those mental tape of the bad things he said to you start to play and haunt you, continue to being strong and realizing your value. He probably said those things because he was mad and this time apart from him has allowed you time to objectively improve yourself in every facet of your life. Someone once told me that there are three types of problems. Your own problems, other people's problems and God's problems. Unfortunately, we only have a say in our own problems. You seem to be doing pretty well all things considered. As for your ex, he (or his higher power) will have to deal with that stuff.

 

Good luck and best wishes

[Guest]

 

 

I know this one! It wasn't a guilt trip - she really believed that you didn't want to see her as much as she did. It wasn't just the 6 days of finals - it was your whole relationship. She didn't call you because she'd probably learned it did no good - unless you called when you wanted to see her, you probably didn't get together. Guys who WANT to be with you, really do call.

 

Yes, maybe she did believe that, but the question is: is this belief justified, or a flawed perception? From my perspective her believing that I didn't want to see her as much as she wanted to see me was more of a reflection of her insecurity than anything else. (Funny, cause at the end of the relationship she did say maybe she was too insecure to be in a relationship)

 

 

Example: During both winter and spring breaks, the only way we talked was when I called. I never received a call from her, unless she was returning my call. When we returned from winter break, I called her the day she got back, so we could hang out, but she said she wanted to see her friends who were returning. When I called the next day, she said the same thing, and I had to beg her to come over.

 

The same is reflected in the decision making aspects of our relationships, as in when I asked her what she wanted to do she always replied: I don't know or I don't care, which upset me greatly. I had to continually question her (in a calm manner) until finally I just ended up making the decision. I think that in a healthy relationship, both partners are invested in the decision making process.

 

And your logic is flawed in your statement: "Guys who WANT to be with you, really do call." Because I could easily say: Girls who WANT to be with you, really do call." When you put yourself out there, and you get little to no reciprication, it hurts. I felt like I constantly had to prove myself, like it was never enough. You seem to be projecting onto me, given that you know very little about the details.

 

Then you'll probably ask, why are you defending yourself? Because I'm insecure and feel guilty about the way it ended, like I could have done more. But I know now I couldn't, cause several times when I did call and she was frustrated, she made up excuses to punish me.

 

If we are to assume that men and women are equal partners in the relationship, then there is no reason why the man should always call.

 

Also, let's say I didn't want to see her as much as she wanted to see me, is that a deal breaker? I don't think its ever equal in a relationship. It's rare that two deal feel equally as strong for each other.

 

You get out what you put in. I can say honestly I did more in the relationship than she did.

[Guest]

I don't know if it's the holidays approaching, or the lack of closure... but I just can't seem to get past missing my ex.

 

He's still on my mind 24/7, even after 3 months of NC.

It's not like I want to be in this state of misery, I truly want to get past it! I keep myself busy, go to the gym, get out with friends... but the longing for him just won't go away.

 

I have all these unresolved feelings of guilt churning about in my brain. When he broke up with me he unleashed everything about me he didn't like, things he had never brought up over the course of our relationship that he obviously let fester and turn into resentment. I had no idea things were off course between us until he dumped me. He was pretty harsh with his criticisms and blame when he let me go- and those are the thoughts that keep running through my head, and just won't go away.

 

I've dated others, even had a couple flings. But nothing seems to console me. This forum is the only place that I vent because I am sick of burdening my friends and family who think I should be well over him by now.

 

I know in my heart that the relationship is done. He hasn't spoken to me or responded to my few attempts at e-mail. It's not that I'm still hoping he'll come back- I'm just not able to stop grieving the loss.

 

He wasn't perfect, he certainly had his flaws. I think I'm just stuck on the harsh things he said about me when he dumped me over the phone. It was more or less an attack on my character and I can't seem to shake the hurt I feel over those things he said. I just keep playing the crappy things he said about me over and over in my head and am questioning whether or not I'm a terrible person. I don't think I am (although I understand my flaws)- but it hurts that he thinks I am.

I think that is what is stopping me from moving on.

 

I can't help but be frustrated that he never brought up his issues until the very end. if he had have communicated his frustrations with me, I would have made every effort possible to work on what was bothering him. Now that I have an understanding of what was irking him... I'm upset that I never had the opportunity to change those things while we were together.

 

Sorry this is so long. I'm just venting. I want to get over this heartache and move forward. The depression at the moment is pretty overwhelming.

He just went from this caring loving guy to this cold as ice jerk. One moment we're looking at houses together, and the next thing I know he thinks I'm an awful person. I can't seem to get past that.

 

How are the rest of you managing to move forward?

Anything working for you that might help me out?

Appreciated. I need to take my life back.

D

 

Few things D-Lish:

 

Give yourself more credit, break ups are extremely painful and its ok that you are in pain. What's it been 5 months? That's not a lot in my opinion. Maybe your friends forget how hard a break up is bc its been a while for them?

 

More important, you cannot allow what he said about you to get you down. When someone has that big of an issue with another person it is really about their own issues. Read about the idea of the "human shadow", I think the title is "The Little Book on the Human Shadow," or, in a slightly different expression, Robert Burney has some interesting ideas on self doubt and projection, just dont get caught up on the negative association you may have with codependency. I think he's got the right idea on the definition. You can find him online.

 

HANG IN THERE GIRL! You seem like a very nice person, dont let his toxic crap get to you. I am in a similar situation with no real closure. Something that helps me, because he attacked my character as well in the end, is that I remind myself that talking to him is of no value because how could I beleive anyhting he said at this point? I thought he loved me and then BAM, all of this crap that, according to him, is wrong with me. What's the truth in all of that? Did he love me, or loathe me? I'll never really know. All I can do is examine my fault in the realtionship and grow from there. It's terrible how careless people can be with one another.

 

But you know what, after you can let this guy go, you'll be so ready to be in a balanced relationship and wont put up with one that isnt. PLEASE, do not set it up in your head that this man was so unique and you will never find anyone that makes you feel that something again. Have you ever seen the movie, What the Bleep Do We Know?, if you are open to metaphysical ideas, this movie may be of help to you. It talks about how WE set up and have control over our life experience.

 

PLEASE D-Lish...just because you have dated other guys and felt nothing, that doesnt mean you never will, let yourself be open to it.

 

Try to have a good Xmas and if you get sad, its ok! It's expected!

[MagnoliaJane]

D...

 

I know it's really hard to move past the hurt of someone who abandoned you in this way. You're probably left feeling deep down that if you had acted differently perhaps you would still be together. However, I don't believe so. Some people just have to blame others when they feel uncomfortable in their relationship. Because blaming others helps take the attention away from themselves, so they don't have to look inside and ask questions.

 

Did your ex ever show any signs of introspection?

 

I believe real healing can only start happening with self-acceptance... First you have to learn to be happy and content on your own and with your friends. If most of your friends have babies, as you said once, look for more friends to widen your circle.

 

I don't know, but the whole on-line dating thing... seems scary bc there are so many freaks on there. Maybe not the best place to look first for a nice woman like you...

 

Look for friends first, and for a lover last

 

Keep hanging in there, girl! I'm gonna spend my X-mas alone as well. There are probably going to be more people spending that social moment alone. I do find a lot of consolation in that thought. Hey, I'm not the only one who has lost love, a lot of illusions (no, my ex wasn't as great as I wanted to believe and that cuts deeper than deep), and will be alone with X-mas. But that's alright. That's life. Life isn't a fairy tale. It's real, and we're all in the same boat, and the ones among us that can lift the veil and see reality for what it is, and are still caring, loving, humble people such as yourself, well these people are the ones I find life worth living for.

 

Girl power, D.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Magnolia

[Kelso]

Hello D-Lish -

 

I have one question for you. Don't you think that you spent too much time on Love Shack?

 

In my case I found a lot of help here on Love Shack and it has helped me get through my breakup. I came here 6-7 times a day first after the breakup and it helped me to feel better. Then I kind of became addicted to LS - because instead of helping me, it had become more like something that would remind me of my ex than to help me. About a month ago I had limited my visits to LS to 1 per day and the result was that I didn't think of her as much.

 

Maybe you should try to put on some kind of limits to yourself and then you wouldn't been reminded as much of him.

 

I just wanted to make sure though that you don't take what I said the wrong way. You have helped a lot of persons in here to get over their breakups, including me. Thank you again for all you awsome advices But as I became addicted to LS - it helped me to limit my visits to here.

 

Good luck to you ... and stay strong

[GodofNietzsche]

Love, in its ideal form, is a relationship of mutual disinterest. Meaning: you are not in it for yourself. You are in it to satisfy the needs of the other. This is, of course, is impossible, but stands in direct contrast to the reason why most people get into relationships in the first place. This is because of prevailing socio/economic forces. The "cult of the individual" has made lasting, long-term realtionships impossible. In relationships, people are too focused on themselves, and what they can get out of the relationship. They refuse to compromise and will most any excuse to get out of a relationship, if it is not satisfying.

They also display, a fatalist, nihlilistic perspective on humanity: that people are incapable of change; that even if someone you really care about has faults, people are ultimately incapable of recognizing these problems and cannot progressively work toward improving themselves. They sacrifice the short term for the long term. They are unwilling to work out the problems and passively blame the other for their own failings. The problem is not with you, but with the current situation of humanity.

[D-Lish]

Thanks for your insight and support everyone.

 

And yes Kelso, I do sometimes wonder why I come here so much and whether or not it's holding me back from moving forward.

I like to think that moving from "breaking up" to "second chances" and now on to "coping" is indicative of some progress....lol. However, posting replies to other people in pain also gives me a little sense of purpose, and it makes me feel good to help someone else if I can.

Hopefully I'll be moving onto the "dating" forum and posting there more often!

 

Yeah, online dating can be scary... I've had some crazy experiences. I did also meet my ex on Lavalife.... so that should tell me something!

 

I think it's the approaching holidays that have inspired the relapse.

I can feel a buzz around the forums here that the impending holidays are affecting people.

 

I put on a happy face everyday, but the inside hasn't caught up yet. It will, I know that.

 

And thanks to you DonQ, your response helped me look at my situation from a more positive perspective.

D