forreasonsunknown Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 well i'm new to these forums but here's my story. i started talking to this girl in june, we talked all summer and had always had a thing for each other. so when september came around, she told me that she wanted to be with me, so i asked her out. she was happy, i know damn well she was. anybody i've asked or talked to knew that. well, things were good for a while. then last month, she got in her trouble with her parents and i couldn't see or talk to her outside of school for a couple weeks. those weeks she wrote me notes about how much she loved me and couldn't live without me. quoted from the note, "i've really fallen for you hard, i've never loved anyone like the way i love you." so the next week was thanksgiving, and the whole week she started acting strange because i was being "too clingy" and not giving her "space". yeah, i've heard that before. so the thanksgiving break came and she was finally able to do things. but she wouldn't hang out with me until the sunday which was a long freakin' time and i missed her like crazy. so the saturday i called her and told her how bothered i was that she wasn't making any time for me and she started bitching at me, how the world doesn't revolve around me. so i appologized to make things better, she came over on Sunday we talked things out, hooked up, did stuff. So Monday came, and she was actin weird. I was thinkin WTF now, so I started acting that way. By Thursday it got to a point where she got pissed at me and when I got home, I called her and proposed a "break" because things weren't too good. She said yea and we left off on good terms. So on Sunday I finally called her and told her how I missed her and wanted to end this break. She decided over her couple of days that she wanted to break up, after promising me for the longest time that we wouldn't. i mean i know it's only high school but come on feelings don't change like that. well she's close with her best friend and i know damn well that she influenced her decision on me. i dont mean to be cocky but im the best boyfriend she's ever had, i did things that no one ever did for her. i bought her flowers, took her out to dinner and the movies paid for everything, she had never done anything with anyone until she started dating me, I know that for a fact. It's been a week and a half and we started talking again but Tuesday I finally snapped. My friends started talking to her and told her how selfish she was and she got pissed off. This was after her best friend told me that there was no bother to even try anymore. I called her and told her that I wasn't alright and how I feel about her and that it's not gonna change. I also told her to think about how we were at one point. She pretty much told me that she doubts we'll ever get back together because things didn't work out this time. I think thats a bull**** answer because I know she likes some college kid and she's jus gonna get screwed over. what hurts the most is not knowing what i did wrong and why she suddenly wanted to break up. any girl ive talked to has told me that they think she'll come back, but do you people think she will and if she does, do I take her back. I mean right now I'm devastated I love her to death, but over time, i'm gonna learn to live with it. but i want her back so desperately right now, if she came and talked to me right now and wanted to get back together i would do it in a heartbeat. so now that i've told my story, may i have some imput from y'all.
norajane Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Yuck - there are way too many people involved in this relationship...your friends, her friends, the college guy she has the hots for... Anyway. I know it's rough now, but you'll see that you're better off without the back and forth crap. High school is a rough time to try to have a relationship because feelings DO change pretty rapidly. As do people. This girl isn't the love of your life. So feel sad for a little while, and then ask another girl out. I'm sure there's someone in your life who's wishing you'd ask HER out and take HER out and thinking how she would appreciate it much more than your ex did.
Guest Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 yeah but do u think she'll come back. i saw her today and she was bein all nice.
Author forreasonsunknown Posted December 16, 2006 Author Posted December 16, 2006 so last night was our winter dance and i saw her and i wanted to dance with her soo badly. i said hi to her but i danced with mad girls in front of her, she looked so miserable! she was givin me the blankest stare the whole night. then today she actually IMd me and made conversation. she's definitely jealous right now. all i want is for her to come back and i was talkin to the college guys brother and he has no interest in her. i think it looks good but i dont kno wat steps to take next.
notmakingsense Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 If you want her back, stick to what is working! And what you did last night is working... keep letting her do the chasing for now, and make sure that you are continuing to have fun without her. Let her be the one that calls/IMs you first.... Be nice to her, talk to her, but don't get serious or talk about the relationship with her at all. Instead, tease her and just be light/funny. This should cause you to become more attractive in her eyes and eventually, if *you* want to, you will be able to really get things going with her again.
Author forreasonsunknown Posted January 4, 2007 Author Posted January 4, 2007 well things were going great. this is what happened. christmas came and went i heard she was hanging out with this kid. so whatever she IMs me and tells me merry christmas. ok so a couple days after im getting ready to leave, its in the evening. my thing says im leaving tommorow, call me or whatever. so i wake up in the morning and she sends me these two longs things about how much she misses me and wants to hang out and wants things to be like they were before we broke up. shes like i dont really have boyfriend feelings for u anymore but yeah. so i call her when im out of state and tell her we will talk when i get back and happy new year. so then i get back and i talk to her. we talk and she admits that she still has feelings for me and really misses me. so im thinkin yea maybe shes comin around. shes like we cant be together now though i was like why, she says cauz i hooked up with this kid over new years. i said oh, i didnt get mad. but im like u should consider getting back together and give me another chance. shes like dont worry im thinkin about stuff im considering it. also in her things they said how she sees how me and my other ex are still friends based on my myspace comments i have. so then last night im talkin to her and i call her cauz i was losin it and i probably shouldnt have and i was talkin bout stuff. and she came out like a bitch and was like i dont think i can give u another chance because it didnt work before. and then i told her i was gonna show her that im the one for her and she got pissed and hung up. so then today i see her in school and she looks at me and looks away. so i say to her are u not gonna talk to me or wat. shes says i dont know and kept walking. i told her im sorry if that means anything and walked away. although im not really sorry for saying what i did. but in all seriousness yall probably think this is all bull**** high school romance which it might just be but what the hell does a 19 year old college freshman want with a 15 year old high school sophomore? i mean im about 17 but thats crazy age difference. i dont even know if its legal to have a relationship like that. but like i know she likes him and **** but as i think about it, shes gonna get used. so now she wont talk to me and shes talkin to him. i think ill probably wait it out for her to come talk to me cauz i know she will. what do yall think i should do? besides the obvious thing everyone says, move on. i think she was comin around and i scared her and thats the problem besides someone else in the picture whos pale as a freakin ghost i may add.
chryssy83 Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 That doesn't sound like letting her do the chasing...
Author forreasonsunknown Posted January 4, 2007 Author Posted January 4, 2007 yea i know, i ****ed up. but even still.
Author forreasonsunknown Posted January 4, 2007 Author Posted January 4, 2007 so wat now, do i just wait?
chryssy83 Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 well things were going great. this is what happened. christmas came and went i heard she was hanging out with this kid. so whatever she IMs me and tells me merry christmas. ok so a couple days after im getting ready to leave, its in the evening. my thing says im leaving tommorow, call me or whatever. so i wake up in the morning and she sends me these two longs things about how much she misses me and wants to hang out and wants things to be like they were before we broke up. shes like i dont really have boyfriend feelings for u anymore but yeah. so i call her when im out of state and tell her we will talk when i get back and happy new year. so then i get back and i talk to her. we talk and she admits that she still has feelings for me and really misses me. so im thinkin yea maybe shes comin around. shes like we cant be together now though i was like why, she says cauz i hooked up with this kid over new years. i said oh, i didnt get mad. but im like u should consider getting back together and give me another chance. shes like dont worry im thinkin about stuff im considering it. also in her things they said how she sees how me and my other ex are still friends based on my myspace comments i have. so then last night im talkin to her and i call her cauz i was losin it and i probably shouldnt have and i was talkin bout stuff. and she came out like a bitch and was like i dont think i can give u another chance because it didnt work before. and then i told her i was gonna show her that im the one for her and she got pissed and hung up. so then today i see her in school and she looks at me and looks away. so i say to her are u not gonna talk to me or wat. shes says i dont know and kept walking. i told her im sorry if that means anything and walked away. although im not really sorry for saying what i did. but in all seriousness yall probably think this is all bull**** high school romance which it might just be but what the hell does a 19 year old college freshman want with a 15 year old high school sophomore? i mean im about 17 but thats crazy age difference. i dont even know if its legal to have a relationship like that. but like i know she likes him and **** but as i think about it, shes gonna get used. so now she wont talk to me and shes talkin to him. i think ill probably wait it out for her to come talk to me cauz i know she will. what do yall think i should do? besides the obvious thing everyone says, move on. i think she was comin around and i scared her and thats the problem besides someone else in the picture whos pale as a freakin ghost i may add. When you say "I think you should change your mind" or "I'm gonna prove to you that you're wrong about me" or that "she's gonna get used" it's all about you. You should search on here for the compilation on how to get someone back (by thekhris, I think) because telling her she's wrong and you know better than she does what is good for her isn't the way to go. It sucks that your last contact was so negative. But you really need to stop contacting her. If she wants to talk she'll get in touch with you. What you have been doing so far was only making things worse, I fear. Also, her relationship with this guy may very well be illegal, but that's not your concern right now. Focus on you and getting through the next few weeks. You'll feel better soon.
Author forreasonsunknown Posted January 4, 2007 Author Posted January 4, 2007 i know that i messed stuff up but like she was one way for a couple days then another the next thats all. she came around once so maybe she'll come around again. all i can do is wait.
Author forreasonsunknown Posted January 4, 2007 Author Posted January 4, 2007 thanks for the help chryssy83
Author forreasonsunknown Posted January 5, 2007 Author Posted January 5, 2007 the problem is i deal with things differently than other people it seems. sometimes it seems that im alright then others i lose it. there really isnt much in my life that i really look forward to. i really really miss her and it sucks that she wont talk to me and i blew it. i know i did, it was getting closer. please help, its jus like i need someone to talk to.
chryssy83 Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 You can post on here as much as you want... You don't have any friends who will let you hijack a weekend to help get over this? I know it's hard, I couldn't have done it without friends to help me hang in there.
Author forreasonsunknown Posted January 6, 2007 Author Posted January 6, 2007 yeah i dont have many friends. well i do have a lot of friends but i dont hang out with a lot of them which i should. what's bothering me the most is that she's pissed off at me she even told my friend. she said it would never happen again but then she came around a week ago. i'm not gonna say it will happen again but i think it can. the one thing though that bothers me the most is that she wont talk to me, and one part of me says i should write her a short note and be like im sorry and i want to be friends. that's all im asking. and kind of appologize for what happened. feelings dont just go away like that. what im thinking is maybe it'll start things off again but then a part of me feels that it will make things worse. it'll bring me some type of closure, i dont know if i should give her a note or write it down and put it away somewhere. some imput?
chryssy83 Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 Call up someone you trust, even if you never hang out, and ask if they are busy. Tell them you really need someone to supervise you because you're going nuts. If they say no, call someone else until you find someone who isn't busy. If she's mad at you, you shouldn't contact her anymore. Give both of you time to calm down. Don't write her a note. First, you don't really just want to be friends (that's not all you're really after!!) and second, she's made it clear she doesn't want to talk right now. If you want to write a letter on here just to vent, or you have enough discipline to write it out at home and not send it, go for it. But you need to distract yourself!!
Author forreasonsunknown Posted January 6, 2007 Author Posted January 6, 2007 i read the one post you told me to and it had the story bout the guy who gave his ex and new bf his best wishes and went his own way and in like 2 weeks she called him because he was havin a good life without her and they wound up getting back together. i believe that we can go back to talking again happen because she was talking to me before but its a matter of time until she cools off. im confident in myself and i know what things could be but it seems like the best thing to do is just let her be right now and her new illegal relationship. ha. but yeah i just keep the faith. and im trying to keep my head up. im gonna write that note but put it with my other notes ive written. so yeah.
Author forreasonsunknown Posted January 6, 2007 Author Posted January 6, 2007 2 days and counting im so tempted to call and appologize but im using self control. i dont see the reasoning though for making things right with somebody and building off of that.
Author forreasonsunknown Posted January 9, 2007 Author Posted January 9, 2007 if she came around once, whats to say she wont again? and how does that happen.
Author forreasonsunknown Posted January 11, 2007 Author Posted January 11, 2007 well its been a week since my little meltdown and we talked on sunday and i appologized and she acts like she doesnt care. and it sucks to have to see her in school and not even talk to her, i mean she said we're friends but i dunno it doesnt feel like it. im back at the beginning, like last time i had an arugment about it with her. it feels like theres something i should be doing, or im making things worse by not iniating contact with her but it feels like now all of the sudden she wants to be with this dude and im no longer on her radar, which last week she had other feelings and her negative ones have taken their place. she doesnt look happy when i see her but then again we're in school. so i dont know what to do, it feels like i screwed things up forever and that there is no shot ever. i dont believe that though. will someone please give me some guidance. and yea the typical one is move on, which im slowly trying. but i cant let go of her because i know there was somethin good happening and its no longer. i cant see how it doesnt bother her. ??
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