pureinheart Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 I really need some advice....have been in NC for over 3 mo....MM is still calling close to 30 times a day+. I want to maintain the NC for purposes of moving on. I thought of changing the cell #, although I have got resumes out with that #, also many people have that #... Yesterday, get this....as God as my witness, I pulled my phone out of my purse to check messages, also I have become used to clearing the missed call logs....and all of a sudden the speaker thing is on and it's dialing his home phone....I freaked because this is a new phone and I'm not good with electronics, and don't quite understand how this thing works yet....anyway I hear, hello, hello and it was him....finally hit end and it hung up. Now this scared me because it was his home phone and they have caller ID....I don't want his W calling me, I don't want anything to do with any of them..... I realize he misses his Narc Supply, but this is ridiculous! Do I call him/write email what? What if I do get a bf and this crap is going on, I've played hard ball in the past with him and he doesn't listen.... Man I pick em' don't I lol.....any suggestions?
kymberann Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Just go on about as if nothing has happened. Did you initiate NC and he is just not keen to it?
norajane Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Can you block him from calling? On my phone, I can set up a "group" (even if it's only one number), and block the group. Otherwise, just continue NC - no email, don't bother. He'll stop calling eventually if you don't ever, ever respond. You just have to wait it out.
ratingsguy Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 30+ times daily?? If that's even close to the truth, you got to change your number, girl! Despite the royal pain in the arse of having to tell everyone your new number, you gotta do it. Plus it'll give you a reason to call the companies you sent a resume to, so you can follow up. Persistance always got me the job! As for accidentially calling him, pretend like it never happened. You don't owe him any explanation. Forget it happened.
Guest Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 30+ times daily?? If that's even close to the truth, you got to change your number, girl! Despite the royal pain in the arse of having to tell everyone your new number, you gotta do it. Plus it'll give you a reason to call the companies you sent a resume to, so you can follow up. Persistance always got me the job! As for accidentally calling him, pretend like it never happened. You don't owe him any explanation. Forget it happened. ratingsguy, are you a TV marketing dude?
GreenEyedLady Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 30+ times daily?? If that's even close to the truth, you got to change your number, girl! I agree...30 times?! If it was more than twice with no response, he should get the picture, but 30 times a day...I think: PROBLEMS...change your number...
bonehead Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 I agree...30 times?! If it was more than twice with no response, he should get the picture, but 30 times a day...I think: PROBLEMS...change your number... Can you say STALKER????? Change number?? Nah, call the cops.
GreenEyedLady Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Can you say STALKER????? Change number?? Nah, call the cops. yeah, that was my thought too...
Art_Critic Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 NewsFlash !!!! You are not in NC if you are allowing him to contact you that much.. Sorry.. but it is true.. Something tells me that you enjoy the attention..I know I would if I were in your shoes.. The trouble is that it is stopping you from healing and moving on. You need to change your number.. it take all of 10 mins..
oyster Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 during my NC period, I only pick up phone from numbers I know (friends and family). I just let it ring for her. No need to inconvenience yourself to change number and updating your contacts. You did what you could under your control which is NOT to pick up his call. Congratulations on a positive step.
Author pureinheart Posted December 15, 2006 Author Posted December 15, 2006 Just go on about as if nothing has happened. Did you initiate NC and he is just not keen to it? Man Kymberann I have been trying, but it is soooo annoying....yes I intiated it and he know what's going on and just doesn't care....anytime someone would appear interested in me he would tell them to get the F*** away from me....and then would turn around and say that he had no right to do that, but then do it again....he even called the supervisor where I'm working at now to keep an eye on me....ya the supervisor did and hit on me...lol.... He really thinks all of this is ok and doesn't listen to a word I say and could care less about my feelings
Author pureinheart Posted December 15, 2006 Author Posted December 15, 2006 Can you block him from calling? On my phone, I can set up a "group" (even if it's only one number), and block the group. Otherwise, just continue NC - no email, don't bother. He'll stop calling eventually if you don't ever, ever respond. You just have to wait it out. I'll check that out.....he calls from at least 10 different #'s.....God I hope so, he's different though, doesn't take a hint ...you know! Thank you so much, like I said, not too knowledgable with electronic devices...lol....but I'll read the owners manual!
Author pureinheart Posted December 15, 2006 Author Posted December 15, 2006 30+ times daily?? If that's even close to the truth, you got to change your number, girl! Despite the royal pain in the arse of having to tell everyone your new number, you gotta do it. Plus it'll give you a reason to call the companies you sent a resume to, so you can follow up. Persistance always got me the job! As for accidentially calling him, pretend like it never happened. You don't owe him any explanation. Forget it happened. Ratingsguy...it is the truth and getting worse by the day....these are all companies that you file your resume on line and I'm afraid to change it...don't want anything to go wrong....this time of year there is a freeze on hiring and will continue through Feb....the hiring managers already have the resume in their files. Oh, I don't care what he thinks, the accidental call only fueled him blowing up my phone somemore...lol
Author pureinheart Posted December 15, 2006 Author Posted December 15, 2006 I agree...30 times?! If it was more than twice with no response, he should get the picture, but 30 times a day...I think: PROBLEMS...change your number... I really pick em GEL.....lol
Author pureinheart Posted December 15, 2006 Author Posted December 15, 2006 NewsFlash !!!! You are not in NC if you are allowing him to contact you that much.. Sorry.. but it is true.. Something tells me that you enjoy the attention..I know I would if I were in your shoes.. The trouble is that it is stopping you from healing and moving on. You need to change your number.. it take all of 10 mins.. Newsflash.....no I don't like this type of attention, this is sick....from anyone in any type of relationship this is sick....he knows almost every aspect of my life and knows it is hindering healing, not stopping it though. I have thought of changing the #, but after careful thought am unable to for many reasons. You have no idea how many times I wanted to answer just one call and threaten him by telling his wife....but that is cutting my nose off to spite my face by actually telling her. Look, I really screwed up this time, and he knows all too well I stand as much to loose as he does career wise.....
kymberann Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 he calls from at least 10 different #'s..... He is being sneaky and sly! It's a game. Why do you think he can't let go and just go back to W?
Author pureinheart Posted December 15, 2006 Author Posted December 15, 2006 NewsFlash !!!! You are not in NC if you are allowing him to contact you that much.. Sorry.. but it is true.. Something tells me that you enjoy the attention..I know I would if I were in your shoes.. The trouble is that it is stopping you from healing and moving on. You need to change your number.. it take all of 10 mins.. NC = no communication, I have had no communication with him, I can't control what he does I don't enjoy negative attention, this is quite negative This is mostlikely the tactic, it keeps him on my mind, even if it is negative...it's just annoying and does hinder some progress, but hasn't stopped it thus far That was the first thing I thought of, and after careful thought, I can't afford to do this for many reasons.....hoping I can wait him out and he'll get tired of calling....but if it continues for much longer will just throw many things to the wind, hoping they will turn out ok. Look, I know I screwed up bad....my entire career is on the line because of this....this is why when first coming to this forum, was so adament about the ladies getting out of these relationships....I'm sure some of them don't have as much to loose as I do, but still will try. This guy almost destroyed my life and I have been going through a lot, the fear of discovery is as high with me as it might be with him....he pushes because he knows he can, I can't talk either....
Art_Critic Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Newsflash.....no I don't like this type of attention, this is sick... Then why haven't you changed your number ?.. it takes only 10 mins and is available for anybody to do. I think common sense applies here. I know if someone was calling me 30 times that I didn't want to speak to I would've changed the number on about call number 5 on the first day..
Art_Critic Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 NC = no communication, I have had no communication with him, I can't control what he does Allowing this many calls is communication.. It is what I would call smoke signals on his part.. It is communication.. he is still sending you a message and you are getting it. I think if you feel that you can't stop his communication then you need to have him served with a RO.. calling 30 times a day I think a judge would consider that threatening to you and you should be able to get it.. You seem to not be taking steps to stop the contact.. Why ?
bonehead Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Then why haven't you changed your number ?.. it takes only 10 mins and is available for anybody to do. I think common sense applies here. I know if someone was calling me 30 times that I didn't want to speak to I would've changed the number on about call number 5 on the first day.. Yes changing a cell phone number takes 10 minutes. But how MANY people have that number for her? I still say call the cops on stalker boy
Art_Critic Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Yes changing a cell phone number takes 10 minutes. But how MANY people have that number for her? I still say call the cops on stalker boy With phones today and the sim chips all you have to do when you get a new number is send one text to everyone in your addy book and they have your new number.. 1 min of labor If you don't have the chip that moves from phone to phone then you can have your same phone reprogrammed and then send the one text I would think that alerting the police about the calls would be a good idea.. not much they can do.. but a judge can issue a TPO.. Hell if the guy was calling once a day that would be different but by calling 30 times a day repeatedly he is showing that he is not in control of his behavior and that is scary
MOMMIE Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 I agree with AC....It sounds like he has mental issues...where he finds the time to call someone 30 times a day i don't know....sorry but he sounds crazy...you should really be careful
NoIDidn't Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 AC, I agree with you. Smoke signals and all. It took me 15 minutes to change my number. But...... I have to say this. I think that if he is really calling that many times a day, every day, for 2 months, if she changes her number - there will be h*ll to pay. I think he will just find another way to get to her. So do both. Notify the police, AND change the number.
herenow Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 I like the idea that you can use the change of number as a way to contact everyone you sent your resume to. How great is it to have a valid reason to follow up and put a real voice to the resume? What a nice perk to getting rid of a problem. With the technology to text or e-mail everyone else with your new number, (and maybe a happy holiday greeting) I see no downside to changing your number. I bet you can even tell your carrier that you are getting harassing phones calls and they will at least give you a discount if not do it for free.
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