bg1975 Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 [sIZE=2] [/sIZE] [sIZE=2]Here is my problem. Been dating this gal that I met for about six months. First week, spent a ton of time together. Even visited her family out of town within the first week. Met Brother, Aunt and Grandma. At the time, I was waiting for my divorce to finish although seperated and done with it for over a year prior. She was coming out of a bad whirlwind engagement that ended a couple months prior. X became a stalker for a bit and has finally stopped only recently within the past couple months. This is the second stalker for her in less than 5 years. (Not sure what she does to these guys). Both of us up front about everything.[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]So, a couple of intimate moments were shared and then she stopped communicating for a almost three weeks. Long story short, we end up talking and she tells me she wants to take things slow, that she wants to move forward but at her pace. Coming from where I am, I am good with that.[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]We have a great time together when we do, she works a ton. 7 days per week up to 12-14 hours a day with a day off here an there. [/sIZE] [sIZE=2]So, now six months into this and she opens and is loving towards me (neither of us have said the L word), and others she is an ice queen. Occasional physical moments such as holding hands, small kissing, but nothing further. I have not wanted to push the issue for fear of pushing her away.[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]I know that I am starting to develop real emotional ties to this gal since she really pushes my buttons in several ways. She is always happy to see me and often asks me to go out with her and do things. Both pay so I don't have the feeling that she is using me.[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]I am just unsure where to go. I want this relationship or whatever it is to go to the next level….a more exclusive type thing but not sure how to approach it.[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]Anyone out there been in this situation before? How do I express my feelings to someone who is sometimes guarded but then other times very open. She has told me several things that would kill the relationship for others that I am comfortable with, but I also still think there is something else that she has not told me about. Have not asked but get the feeling that something else is there. [/sIZE] [sIZE=2]Any advice?[/sIZE] [sIZE=2][/sIZE]
Rooster_DAR Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 There are a few red flags to keep an eye on, so I think pursuing slowly would be the best answer. Meeting a family withing the first week is way to fast, but let's put that aside. Her saying she has had 2 stalkers could be a potential problem area, and tells me there may be something more there. Do you live in different cites/states? Many times women will claim their coming out of and engagement when they are still in fact seeing this person, they just have their sites on you now. This may not be the case, but the fact that she brought up the stalking part is kind of suspect. And she is saying move forward at her place, this gives her the upper hand should anything bad happen. [sIZE=2] She has told me several things that would kill the relationship for others that I am comfortable with, but I also still think there is something else that she has not told me about This statement is another area that is of a small concern, although it may be inoccuous, if you have have a feeling there is something she's not telling you (gut feeling) you probably are feeling something is just not quite right. I would go slowly and keep you eyes open, stay alert but not suspicious. Just try to avoid minimizing any issues you might have because your are head over heals, when the time is right you may be able to bring up some of this carefully. (Coming from where I am, I am good with that) Coming from where your are, and where is that? Good luck, post back.
norajane Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 If you want to turn it up a bit more, plan a really special date - something you know she would love to do. Maybe she's always wanted to eat at the best restaurant in town, or maybe she'd like to go see the Nutcracker for Christmas or some other show, maybe she'd like to something that's unique to your part of the country. Take her out and give her a little more romance in her life. And then make sure to give her a kiss that will make her swoon at the end of the night, and go home leaving her wanting more... Might help, can't hurt.
gfto Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 she stopped communicating for a almost three weeks. Long story short, we end up talking and she tells me she wants to take things slow 99% of the time, this means, "I'm not that into you and I don't see a future with you, but you're better than nothing for the time being." This girl knows how you feel about her. A romantic date isn't really gonna change anything. Wait around if you must, but I'd focus on new prospects.
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