Vanquish Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 So im dating this girl now and everything is perfect, we connect on so many levels. Except for one thing that is nagging on me. I seem to be a secret to her parents. Everytime we hang out she has to tell her parents that she is hanging at a friends house (shes 18 by the way). I have met her mom and things were good, except i wasn't introduced as anything, just as my name. Now im not sure what to make of this, either shes playin it smart like me and not meeting the folks until a good few months into the relationship, or theres somethign shes not telling me about how her parents act or react with her and boys or potential boyfriends. I mean the whole thing is silly to me, im only 19 and my parents know im seeing her and want to meet her. It sucks feeling like I'm kidnapping her everytiem i take her out because her parents think she is at her friends house.
monkey00 Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Some girls actually worry about their parent's disapproval of a guy. Unless they're certain he's for keeps (LTR) and they would definitely approve...and if it's what you really want, you'll meet the parents. Dont take it too harsh, some girls do this some dont. I get that it's disrespectful to the guy...but its your choice if you want to call it off.
Porn_Guy Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 once you have her parents "approval" then she may split. she enjoys the excitement and secrecy. girls are like that.
Mythical Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Hey I was in her position until a year ago and im 20 Growing up I wasn't brought up in the best home, its not that my mom really minded me being with guys but I was always scared to tell her even if she did know about them I would ALWAYS lie and say I was at a friends!! EXSPECIALLY if i was sleeping over. I was with my ex for 4 years and met who im with now she didn't like him because of certain reason and i found my self still lying hen i was 20. Everything back to normal now its just like I kind of didn't want to piss her off make her life and mine harder than it was...... dON'T BE MAD AT HER IM SURE IT AHS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU AT ALL, THIGNS WILL GET METTER MAYBE TALK TO HER AND ASK HER WHY SHE FEELS THIS WAY. iT'S PROB ....OPPs sorry bout the caps. Its prob just the relationship they have and her not wanting her mom to worry.
bab Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Don't sweat it to much Vanquish. Who knows what the deal is with her parents. Maybe they don't have as close of a relationship as you do with your parents, but I'm betting she just wants to keep her personal life to herself until she is sure. It's not that uncommon at all.
Walk Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Hm... I was nearly 30 and lied to my parents about the guy I was seeing. Or rather, I was incredibly vague and non-informative as to my actions and where abouts. I didn't want to deal with all the questions and hassels. My brother always threatens the guys I'm dating, my father pulls out the shotguns and starts blowing stuff up the first time he meets anyone I'm seeing. Frankly.. the starts of relationships are tenuous enough without having my hilly billy redneck family involve themselves in it. I would suggest talking to her about it. Just a casual, non-confrontation type discussion on how you noticed that she didn't want her family to know about you. At the very least, it'll give you a heads up if her family is psycho and going to come attack you if they find out you had sex with their little girl.
IpAncA Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 Have you talked to her about this? If so what did she say?
insomnie Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 My brother always threatens the guys I'm dating, my father pulls out the shotguns and starts blowing stuff up the first time he meets anyone I'm seeing. Are you serious? That is kind of hilarious. Your poor boyfriends!
Author Vanquish Posted December 15, 2006 Author Posted December 15, 2006 I haven't brought this up yet because i feel its a touchy subject for her, im just waiting for when it comes up and i can ask indirectly. But i do assume that you guys are right and that she is just seperating personal life from family life, which is totally understandable, having nagging parents sucks. Especially parents that are suspicious of her having sex with me. She is an only child which explains this. Thanks for the help.
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