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Posted

I know this is not a good way to make a first impression. I also know for what I'm about to post I will be judged, flamed, and disliked. But I have to get it off my chest. I'm not proud of my actions, and I'm human, I made a mistake.

 

And for the record, I am female.

 

There is another forum I visit regularly and have for years. It's a forum similar to this one. I used to see all these threads where people would ask for a guy's opinion. But me, feeling my opinion might help gave my opinion on some of them people got upset with me.

 

So, one day I really thought I had some valuable advice for someone who wanted a guy's opinion, so I created another account, this time marking my gender as male.

 

For a long time I rarely logged on with that account, only when somone wanted a guy's opinion. But the more I posted as a guy, the more I began to realize something. I am a blunt person, and sometimes my opinions are a little harsh. As a woman this started creative flaming wars, as a man people didn't seem to mind my bluntness. In fact, people seemed to like me better as my male alter ego.

 

On June 6th, 2006, everyone was making such a big deal about "Devil's Day." Somone started a thread about this, and I made a few funny comments under my male username. Well, what I said struck an apparent cord with a woman there. I don't mean romantically, this is only platonic. She PMed me, and we started having ocasional conversations.

 

Once again I must mention that their is nothing other than friendship here. She is married, (I am married also, and my male alter ego presents himself as married). She is also quite a bit oder then me.

 

So our once in a while conversations continued, ranging from casual talk about movies and music, to serious discussions about religion.

 

Now she PMs me alsmot daily. Pretty much everything I have told her about myself is true, other then my gender. Job is the same, interests are the same, age is the same, etc. I really like talking to this person. She has helped me out a time or two. But I feel terrible that she became my friend under false pretenses. I wonder if she even would have found me as interesting as a woman.

 

There has never been any talk of meeting face to face, she has never asked me to call her or anything. So part of me thinks no harm no fowl, but my conscience is really getting to me.

 

Thoughts?

Posted

who to say that the "woman" is even a woman?

 

it is the world wide web, people are who ever they wanna be.

 

Let it go, no harm done.

Posted

I wouldn't worry too much about it really. It's not like you ever had cyber-sex with her or anything right?

 

I'd just make the male-user you go by disappear. And maybe become friends with her as the female-user possibly. This way she won't feel like she's lost a friend, if you hold that much importance to her in the first place.

 

And if you do...well that's a whole 'nother topic for discussion. :laugh:

Posted

Come clean with her and go from there. You may lose her friendship over this, it's very hard to gain trust back with online friendships once it's gone... I'm not saying that she will tell you goodbye, but I think by you telling her why you posed as a male user, and how you didn't intend for a friendship to blossom, yet it did, that you now need to tell her the truth. Hopefully she'll respect your choice to tell her and she'll be okay with it all. And if not, atleast you got it out and don't feel like you're leading someone on.

 

My only concern is, that she is attached to you and feels a connection...

Posted

When I played EQ all the time I lied to the people for lke 3 years telling them I was a guy, you get more respect in mmorpgs that way, eventually I got bored of it, mostly because my cleric was a female toon and they started making comments like "WTF... why are you playing a chick character" anyways... I finally told em I'm female. A few people took issue with it, most didn't care, and some tried to get some cyber action.

 

W/e... who cares.. tell her if its bothering you don't if it does not.. its just people online anyway.

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