yourz truely Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Well a friend of mine thought it would be a good idea to hook me up with one of her boyfriends roommates... A few months ago, he started to instant message me online, and i was seeing someone else so I didnt pay a whole lot of attention to him. He would invite me to parties, but I would never go. One day, I ran into him when i was grocery shopping and we happened to recognize eachother from pictures. So we started to talk and ended up hanging out that night. That whole next week he was so sweet to me, calling and/or texting everyday, and we hung out almost every day as well. He even wanted to go on a date, so he cooked me this great dinner and played the guitar(lol). He would make future plans and tell me how much he liked me even tho it was only a week. The last few days he has been acting very distant, and at first I thought it was because of finals and he wasnt feel well, but then i was informed by my friend that he is all about the girl when he first meets her, but when he sees things getting to become serious with a girl he starts to shy away from her. She also said that he likes to do all of the work in the beginning and then I realized that I made the mistake of feeling comfortable enough to show interest in him. Apparently this is a stage he goes through a lot, why she tried to hook us up is beyond me... but her advice was to let him be for a while and "apparently" he is going to come around. My questions is, do you think that he will really come around eventually, or is there anything that I can do to break this odd stage that he is in... I need help because this is one of the few guys who I have actually found to like! Thank you and im sorry i wrote so much ... Yourz Truely :/
Krytellan Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Ugh... boys. I have a suggestion... kick him into the river. That'll end his "phase". Or just leave him alone period.
norajane Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 IMO, both of you went in deep really fast. Why on earth would you see each other every day for a week straight when you had just met, plus calling and texting? It's no wonder that he backed off - that's just too much togetherness at the start of a relationship. Your friend might be right and he'll come around after some time apart. But do you want to play this game with him all the time? You can step back and wait for him to come around, and then run the risk of getting too close and then having him step back - over and over again. That's not a good way to develop a healthy relationship, and I don't know how long you can sustain the back and forth.
Guest Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 From my experience when men do this.. all into you in the beginning, is they enjoy the chase rather than the reward.. the chase is the thrill for them, and once they have made their kill, they will find another pon. Its not that you've done something wrong, it's a game to them. It's not intimacy, but a power trip - - and the only thing they have to do is to show you interest, making future plans to create an illusion that this will last for the both of you guys.. thats when girls get hooked.. when we believe that,. "finally someone true.." when really - - we should count the actions, not what happened in the beginning, the whole courting and mating ritual. Realize that you deserve better than someone who is only half assing their way, and they get the most ofyou.. if he doesn't cooperate, men are dime a dozen. Believe that there are other people who will give you chemistry or even more than that.. yeah - i agree, kick him to the curb. Maybe he'll realized that he had let a lot of people go.. because of his selfishness..
Author yourz truely Posted December 18, 2006 Author Posted December 18, 2006 Thank you so much! i absolutely agree and you made me realize the real picture of the situation... you helped realize something that ive been overlooking.. thanks again for your help! --- yourz truely
Guest Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 I am hoping the woman i want to be with understands that the beauty I see in her comes from the inside and that is what enhances her appearance. It has never been an effort for me to look beyond the outer shell, ) and is what makes me desire her, long to look after her, work with her on common goals, respect, protect, and love her - but i don't think she believes this. perhaps, that is not important.
Recommended Posts