Guest Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 About a month ago, I posted on here as desperate as the next guy/girl to not lose who they claimed to be their significant other. My g/f and I were in a relationship of 3 years, both 21 now, high school sweethearts with a pretty strong past. She started to do some things on her own, in her case, get addicted to World Of Warcraft and let 10,000 nerds (sorry for the stereotype) show her attention for being a female. Thats when the whole I need space starts. When someone finds something else to do thats new and exciting that occupies their time, they ask for space. Then, if you try to interfere in anyway shape or form, you get shi**ed on because youre interupting them, not because you arent giving them space. While your emotions are sitting there in pieces, the other half of you, is out having a blast. They dont ask for space because they need it, they ask for space because they are too afraid to end a relationship just based off of their selfishness. And I can honestly say, I treated her like a princess, but by no means was a push over, we lived in a house togehter ect, all that nonsense, but it didnt matter. The whole, I need space issue is going to last as long as you let it last for. Unfortunatly for me, I let it last for 3 months, which killed me emotionally. I know some people out there have had it worse, and some have had it better, but I just feel terrible for all the people on here that are going through the same thing I did, the pain was too awful to ever wish upon another human being. Everyone told me there would be someone better, and I just kept saying no, no, no, it just wasent suppost to be like this. Which I dont really think it was, but thats because it was out of my control. At this point, which I noticed as well, which really helped me get over my ex, which im not fully over still, was I had to realize she was not the same person I fell in love it, and if your significant other is asking for space, and just leaving you hang to dry, then you are in the same boat my friend. As crappy as it is at the time, no matter how badly you dont want it to end, I truly believe, if you ever want a shot at getting that person back, you need to end the relationship before they do. Unfortunatly, I waited for my ex to end it, as I sent her flowers, cards, disneyland tickets, rediculous amounts of stuff I wish I could return now. At this point, she knows what she did, and shes told me shes not 100% sure about it, and if you end it instead of the person asking for space, that will be a serious wake up call to how 100% they really are. While you are sitting there upset as all hell, crying yourself to sleep over this, they are out getting exactly what they want. End it before they do, force them to wake up out of the fantasy world they have stumbled into for the time being. And better yet, when they realized what a huge mistake it was, dont take them back. I read on another forum, anyone who would do that to someone doesnt deserve your love, because we are still just hanging on to the person that they once were, not who they are now. Imagine finding someone who can return that love? Im curious as to what other people think about this as well. So please feel free to repond. Constructive Criticizem is accepted
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 At this point, which I noticed as well, which really helped me get over my ex, which im not fully over still, was I had to realize she was not the same person I fell in love it Well said. People do change. They don't change because you want them to change or because you're trying to change them, but people evolve. Their interests change, their demeanor changes, their philosophies change. Unless the couple can evolve together in similar ways, the relationship may be in danger.
Guest Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 Well said. People do change. They don't change because you want them to change or because you're trying to change them, but people evolve. Their interests change, their demeanor changes, their philosophies change. Unless the couple can evolve together in similar ways, the relationship may be in danger. I JUST DID THAT. I FINALLY MADE THE BREAK - I KNOW I CAN DO THIS. I JUST ASKED HER IF SHE WOULD LIKE TO MEET AND IF SHE SAYS NO - I WILL NOT ASK AGAIN. AND SHE KNOWS THAT. ITS NOT SAID IN A MEAN WAY, ITS JUST REALITY - SHE KNOWS WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER - IF SHE DOESN'T THINK THAT IS GOOD ENUFF FOR HER - OTHERS WILL. SAME GOES FOR HER. AND U CAN DO AND SAY THAT WHEN U KNOW U CAN BACK IT UP - ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS LOOK WHAT I HAVE DONE RECENTLY. AND ITS UP TO HER TO CALL, SIMPLE AS THAT. AND WHEN U THINK ABOUT IT, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL. ITS A YES OR NO ANSWER - ITS NOT LIFE OR DEATH.
pureinheart Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 This "needing space" thing seems to be somewhat of a game where most are concerned. For me, not being a "clingy" person, I have my own life and don't have to be around SO all of the time.....so if someone said that to me, I would give them all of the space they need for the rest of their lives, meaning I'd be gone....
Guest Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 This "needing space" thing seems to be somewhat of a game where most are concerned. For me, not being a "clingy" person, I have my own life and don't have to be around SO all of the time.....so if someone said that to me, I would give them all of the space they need for the rest of their lives, meaning I'd be gone.... my ex did that. i didn't give her space, we separated and she found someone that gets her better than i do. things happen fast when u are not paying attention i guess. wow.
Recommended Posts