freckles73 Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 My ex-boyfriend, who dumped me five months ago, lives two doors down. I have done everything I can to avoid running into him, as I know it will only stir up more devastation in my heart. My financial situation is such that I can't move. Not until next summer. But I saw him the other day when I was taking out my trash on the way to my car. It had been a month since I had laid eyes on him, and seeing him really hit me hard. I got in my car and started sobbing. Even though he was really cruel to me in the end and the way he treated me afterward, I am still having a hard time getting him out of my heart and head. It still feels like yesterday. I've tried to move on. Focusing on a lot of other things that are on my plate right now. I even went on a couple of dates. But as terrific as these guys were on paper I couldn't feel anything for them, and I didn't pursue anything. I'm a mess. And it really hurts something fierce because it's Christmas, and it's made worse by the fact that my family is really disconnected and screwed up and I will be alone for Christmas. The thing is, I don't want to be with just anyone. I want to be with him. And I hate myself for still feeling that way. Sorry. Just venting. Thanks.
Author freckles73 Posted December 16, 2006 Author Posted December 16, 2006 God, I miss him. Weekends are the worst.
Guest Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 i feel the same way seeing her would be a positive for me but think her seeing me would be bad
Guest Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 i understand freks i really do i am going home now reading that reminded me of how much i really miss her and i want to hold her so bad she would know by a hug i better go
notmakingsense Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 I'm sure you've read all the advice that people give on LS, and mine is no different. Just keep staying the course, focus on yourself, but most importantly, try to focus on getting out and forging/growing your friendships. If it makes you feel worse, then the dating can wait until you've moved on more fully. If your family isn't around, then your friendships will make you feel better. When you start feeling good about life again, then romance will follow.
Author freckles73 Posted December 16, 2006 Author Posted December 16, 2006 Thank you, notmakingsense. You're right. Absolutely right. It sure is a rough journey though. And I guess I had hoped that it would be a less time-consuming one. Unfortunately, my heart is a little more stubborn than my head. Hopefully my head can coax my heart into pace. It sure will be much easier to handle once I am able to move away this summer. Thank you again.
Guest Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 How does your ex react when he sees you? Have you ever seen him with someone else? I'm only asking because I think that financial difficulties or not you need to move right now!!!! It is only a matter of time before you'll have to deal with seeing him with another woman and that is truly going to kill you! BTW, your reaction to seeing him is perfectly normal. I'm sure many of us on here would have a similar breakdown if we were in a situation where we could run into our ex at any time like that.
Author freckles73 Posted December 18, 2006 Author Posted December 18, 2006 No, I haven't seen him with anyone else. Luckily. But I kind of do the math when his car is gone nearly every weekend that he is probably busy with my replacement. I really wish I could move, but I'm really not in the position to do so just yet.
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