Lauriebell82 Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 i go to college an hour 1/2 away from my boyfriend and i'm coming home now for a month for christmas break. i only see him on weekends now and he wants me to spend every night at his apartment with him when i'm home. my parents are telling me that i shouldn't spend every night over there because it will get old. he said he wants me to be there every night and i told him ok but now i'm confused about what people are saying. i really love him and really miss him while i'm at school so i do want to be with him every night while we have the opportunity. what do u guys think? he's my serious bf and its a little past the "playing hard to get" thing but should i still not go over there every night. i'm not gonna see him during the weekdays cause he works long hours so i wont see him till like 8 pm every night and he has to go to bed at like 10 or 11 and by that time i'm not going to want to go home so i'd end up staying the night anyway. what should i do? guys especially: would u want ur gf there everynight?
Aloros Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 I don't see why it would be bad to spend every night together. I spend every night together with my boyfriend, and it's definitely never made things "old"! If I were your parents, I'd be complaining more about you not spending some more time at home with them. After all, they probably miss you too.
norajane Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 I don't think it would hurt any if you spent some time at your family's house, and maybe visited with your other friends, too.
lovestruck234 Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 i go to college an hour 1/2 away from my boyfriend and i'm coming home now for a month for christmas break. A month?? That's heaps of time to visit EVERYBODY. I can see why you and him both want to spend as much time with each other as you both can, trust me, I'd be in the same sort of thing as you, but a whole month? You can see him as well as your friends and family... It's all about the balance...
IpAncA Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 If thats what you want to do then thats what I'm guessing you will do. However like others said, spend time with your family too. It's not going to hurt your bf if you don't spend every single night with him. Unless it will. Don't know. Balance things out.
Krytellan Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 I've been on both sides here. I think it depends on how truly emotionally stable and mature the two of you are... some people can have bad drawbacks from that kind of close long-term contact while dating. I would offer this, much like everyone else. Tell him no, and he should understand. Spend maybe 3 nights a week with him (4 if absolutely necessary) and the rest with family and such. I say this because given you are coming from limited time together and are inevitably heading back to limited time together, why set yourselves up for a major disappointment when that time comes. I find (and no, I am not you) that the dance of extremes is a very dangerous thing. I would recommend not going from nothing to everything to nothing. Take this opportunity to not only establish your independence need for understanding in the relationship, but to make the mature decision to balance things in healthy doses. If he doesn't understand, some might just say you have yourself a little issue on your hands. My 2 cents. But hey, have fun... that should be a great time for the two of you
Guest Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Are you talking about night as in sleep or night as in all evening, every evening. If the former, then it's none of your family's business. If the's the latter, then yes you should see some other people.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted December 14, 2006 Author Posted December 14, 2006 actually its not going to be a whole entire month of spending the night together...ill really only see him for a week before he goes home (his parents live like 6 hours away) for a week 1/2 so i'll see him for like a little less than 2 weeks before i go back to school. i think it may be weird being together during the week because we are used to doing our own thing so maybe i'll sleep at my parents a couple weekday nights and be with him the rest of the time. the most nights in a row we ever spend together was 4 so it may be weird to spend more than that in a row. i hope he doesnt think i dont want to be there if i do tell him i'm staying at my parents. i love him and i really miss him while i'm at school so it would be strange talking to him on the phone atnight if i was only 15 minutes instead of an hour 1/2. i hate to make excuses for not going there cause thats pretty much what they are going to be. does anyone have any other advice? i'll have the opportunity to spend time with family adn friends when he is home for christmas so should i still spend the night at my house anyway?
littlekitty Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 I don't see what the problem is with you spending the entire week there. If you are home a whole month, but only able to spend a week of that with him, then I don't see why you shouldn't stay for that week with him. You'll have the other 3 weeks to spend time with your family and other friends. Seems silly not to enjoy the short amount of time you have together.
skimmy Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 One of the best times I treasure with my bf is the time when we "pillow talk," and if both of you are really busy and don't get to spend that much time together to begin with, then I say take as much as you can get! But ultimately, do what feels right, no matter what people might say. My rule of thumb is this: if 95% of people are saying one thing, they might have a point. But if it's about 50/50, then follow your heart. And under certain circumstances, even if 95% of people are saying one thing but you feel in your heart to do the other, then follow your heart and let things fall where they land and deal with it then.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted December 15, 2006 Author Posted December 15, 2006 yeah we are seriously only going to be able to spend like an hour each day together before we go to bed so i'd rather be there than on the phone with him 15 minutes away. i'll have plenty of time to spend with my family and friends when he goes home for a week. we've spent a lot of nights in a row together and its been fine but who knows about a week. i guess we'll just have to see what happens. i'd love to hear more advice u guys are really helping me out!
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 If I were you, I'd spend every evening with him. My boyfriend gets off work at 11 every night and I'm usually in asleep when he comes over, but it's still nice. I'd say go for it esp. since you only have limited time to do so. Take advantage of winter break! It only comes around once a year! It's not like you're going to see him 24/7 and totally ignore your family and friends. You can only see him from 8 pm on, so you have ALL DAY to hang out with other people. I don't see what the big deal is at all!!!! Spend time with your boyfriend- you love him! That's what lovers do!
Author Lauriebell82 Posted December 24, 2006 Author Posted December 24, 2006 thanks for ur replys! my boyfriend just left for a week and i did end up spending every night with him last week. we only really talked for an hour and went to sleep but it was nice. we argued a tad just cause we werent used to being together during the week so it was just a little bickering, but the week was great. so now i have another 2 weeks left with him and i'm very excited, because after that its just back to weekends.
accurized Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 Well I can tell you my experience. I met my GF in October and from nearly the start we spent every night together.. (not having sex..but just sleeping together) She began to feel like we were living together and I think it scared her off. We're still together but she's backed way off in our relationship and has become a different person to me. I'm not saying that can happen to you but it did happen to me. So you might want to think about balancing it out and not staying every night unless you think there will be no problems. I wish you luck.
brickaney Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 i go to college an hour 1/2 away from my boyfriend and i'm coming home now for a month for christmas break. i only see him on weekends now and he wants me to spend every night at his apartment with him when i'm home. my parents are telling me that i shouldn't spend every night over there because it will get old. he said he wants me to be there every night and i told him ok but now i'm confused about what people are saying. i really love him and really miss him while i'm at school so i do want to be with him every night while we have the opportunity. what do u guys think? he's my serious bf and its a little past the "playing hard to get" thing but should i still not go over there every night. i'm not gonna see him during the weekdays cause he works long hours so i wont see him till like 8 pm every night and he has to go to bed at like 10 or 11 and by that time i'm not going to want to go home so i'd end up staying the night anyway. what should i do? guys especially: would u want ur gf there everynight? Yeah it's not like you're spending every waking moment with one another< you probly would get on one another's nerves then. Take advantage of the opportunity & do it. You're not spending the whole day together & he obviously really misses you.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted December 25, 2006 Author Posted December 25, 2006 thanks for all the advice guys..it was very strange transitioning from long distance to seeing each other everyday but it was real nice. i actually realized that i loved being with him all weekend for the whole weekend and not just 1 or 2 hours every night. but its still nice to see him everyday while we have the chance. he's coming back from home in a week so i guess i will still stay with him every night. he wants me to, but i just hope i'm not cramping his space or anything. should i ask him if he still wants me to stay everynight? i just dont want to overwhelm him even though its only for 2 weeks.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 17, 2007 Author Posted January 17, 2007 hi guys i posted this thread about a month ago when i was first coming home for break and i'd just like to hear people's thoughts on this. i think i may have freaked my boyfriend out by spending every night at his apartment. i posted something about him not wanting to come see me because he has to study for the cpa exam, but i'm starting to think that maybe i overwhelmed him by being there so much and scared him. he made several comments like "wow i havnt slept alone in my bed in a month" and i had to work all day one sat and he said "wow i havnt had a saturday to myself in a long time." these are just comments but i am starting to think they have some meaning. yet he's the one who called everyday after work and said he wanted me to come spend the night. maybe he just didnt want to upset me. now i'm starting to think that he is using his studying for the exam as an excuse because he doesnt want to tell him he needs space or not spend time with me. he told me how much he loved me but now i'm extrememly confused. should i talk to him about this? i need help!!!!
omfg Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Speaking from experience, dont do that. Everyone needs their space.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 17, 2007 Author Posted January 17, 2007 u really think i shouldnt talk to him? well i guess i could just let it go..i wont see him for 2 weeks so maybe thats the space he needs and it might actually help our relationship? what are everyone else's thoughts about this? i need some more opinions!
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