loveinlife Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 I met this girl three weeks ago and hung out w her a few times. We don't really know each other that well. We are talking on a friendly term. However, I kinda like her. So my cousin is getting married and I am thinking about asking her out to go to the wedding next weekend. I am not sure if thats a good idea. Can anyone help me?
My Fair Katie Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Probably not a good idea to take a girl you hardly know to a wedding. First she won't know anyone there (and she barely knows you) and most of the time people don't take "casual" dates to a wedding. Second, are you sure that you were invited to bring a guest? Normally the bride/groom only invites *significant* others to keep costs down (otherwise everyone will bring a date that the bride and groom don't even know and they have to pay for their plate). Ugg, weddings, nasty business.
lovestruck234 Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 The wedding invite may come on a little strong....IMO. But sure, ask her out to someplace else. Dinner, concert, whatever... But, yeah, I would probably take a few steps back if a guy I only knew for 3 weeks asked me to go a wedding....I'd be thinking, are you hinting something here, buddy?? Eeek. I reckon get to know her really well first. If you don't know much about her then ASK. Girls love it when a guy is actually interested in what they have to say...and even if they put on a pretty good genuine act, then we're still impressed...
Author loveinlife Posted December 13, 2006 Author Posted December 13, 2006 Thanks My Fair Katie and Loves, You girls have really good points. I kinda thought about it and was kinda blurry. What brought this idea was my cousins girlfriend, she asked if i was going to bring a date. So i thought, is that a good idea? Yeah, its definitely true that she might not know anyone at the wedding. Perhaps not a good date. Btw Loves, girls like it when guys ask them questions? I do that most of the times esp if i am interested in a girl. Does it come to a point of a person being annoying? Not sure, want to know your opion. =)
lovestruck234 Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Btw Loves, girls like it when guys ask them questions? I do that most of the times esp if i am interested in a girl. Does it come to a point of a person being annoying? No, I don't find it annoying. That's my whole point. If a guy seems genuinely interested in my views, interests, whatever...then I'm thinking "Hey, this guy is actually paying attention to what I have to say" and therefore, you gain respect for that person. Of couse, there IS a line. If you start asking, like 100,000 quesions it's like "what, are you a detective??!!??"
Author loveinlife Posted December 13, 2006 Author Posted December 13, 2006 Haha... I definitely agree w you. I am the type of person who does listen well and picks on the points when i am talking to a girl. I believe what they say has a point and i should pay detail to it. Indeed being a detective will make a person look bad. Thanks for the head up!
lovestruck234 Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Haha... I definitely agree w you. I am the type of person who does listen well and picks on the points when i am talking to a girl. I believe what they say has a point and i should pay detail to it. Indeed being a detective will make a person look bad. Thanks for the head up! It's cool. It's great you have that attitude towards it. There are alot of guys who couldn't care less what I'm saying when I'm talking to them. *Shrugs* but then you find the genuine ones...they're the keepers! She's probably a very lucky girl to have you in her life. Good luck with her! Oh, and with the wedding....you could always just invite a really good female friend. Not necessarily a "date" but someone to hang out with for the night...
Author loveinlife Posted December 14, 2006 Author Posted December 14, 2006 Good to hear from you again. I love your attitude too. Its also people like you men like me can learn from. It seems like you have a whole lot of experience under your belt. Like they say, it takes one to know one and im definitely not a woman to understand their essence. I appreciate every word you put in here. It's no-ones choice, but you chose to help me.
lovestruck234 Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Good to hear from you again. I love your attitude too. Its also people like you men like me can learn from. It seems like you have a whole lot of experience under your belt. Like they say, it takes one to know one and im definitely not a woman to understand their essence. I appreciate every word you put in here. It's no-ones choice, but you chose to help me. Me? Experience? Ohhhh no no no no no...I have minimum experience...I'm not even life-experienced enough yet. Lol. But...yeah, no worries. I like giving advice to you so...it works both ways! Once again, good luck with her...and if you have any more questions, then I'm more than happy to help wherever I can!!
pureinheart Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 I know I'm going again the grain here....although if you want to ask her, go for it....she mostlikely will hear you talk about the wedding and wonder why she wasn't invited....I would.... Too many rules in dating, I hate rules, though do live by most rules in society and the workplace because I'm forced. Some rules are good some take my air away (I can't spell sofficating).... Lol....you be you
Dad_of_3 Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 I see both sides of the arguement here. both have there pro's and con's. I like pureinheart's philosophy about being you. You are who you are. You dont need to change that for someone else. Unless of course you are a total pr*ck. From the sounds of things, you've got your head on right and are genuinely just asking for advice. Lovestruck234 also has good points as well. A wedding is pretty confronting, its really not a 'traditional' place to take a date. Really at the end of the day, you know in yourself what you are going to do. Whether she takes it the right way or not, its still going to be your decision to ask her. Go with what feels right, either way, no matter what happens you made the best choice under the circumstances. I dont know if it helped but best of luck to ya !
Author loveinlife Posted December 14, 2006 Author Posted December 14, 2006 I understand where both of you guys are coming from, pure and dad. Its definitely true, its always better to listen to oneself. I believe i was a little confused and wanted to ask the people on LS if that was a good idea. I do see the pros and cons now. But also because I don't know her that well, I don't want to freak her out by asking her. I might just lay low for that question and if I do figure that she might be comfortable and alright to go, I will do my best to ask her at the right moment. Thanks a lots guys/girls. Any responses are more than welcomed.
lovestruck234 Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 But also because I don't know her that well, I don't want to freak her out by asking her. I think that's the best bet. Although other points were good, IMO, if a guy I knew for about a month asked me to go to a wedding with him....EEEK. *Running, waving hands in the air and screaming out the door* It WOULD DEFINITELY freak me out, no doubt...I know there are some girls who are approachable on things such as this, and there are some that would be more than happy to go, but I'm not liking the chances. You'd be better off playing it safe and keep going on the casual dates for now until you build a bit of depth with this girl.
crazy_grl Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 I once went on one date with a guy and he asked me to go to a wedding with him. My thoughts were along the lines of "Errr... What? I barely know you." I didn't go out with him again... not just because of that. There were a lot of major turn-offs with this guy (one of them coincidentally being that he didn't seem to hear a word I said. Heh.) Maybe (big maybe) if there hadn't been so many other negatives I wouldn't have minded going with him to the wedding though. Who knows. My opinion is that it's best not to ask her. If you ask, you risk scaring her off by asking her on such a 'serious' date too soon. Since it's your cousin, your family is going to be there, right? She'll be meeting your family before you've even been on a real date. That's fairly intimidating. If you don't ask, you risk having her wonder why you didn't invite her and hurting her feelings, BUT if she's a reasonable girl worth having a relationship with, she ought to understand why you wouldn't want to take someone you just met to a wedding with a bunch of your family. Just my opinion. Feel free to do whatever you feel is best for your situation.
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