John234 Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 I have been married for more than two years. Whenever I tried to have sex with my wife she felt extreme pain and the marraige could not be consummated as yet. We consulted the Doctors and followed the advice. But even after about 8 months of the treatment the problem persists. She has not confided whether it is due to some incident like sexual attempt in her earlier life or any fear. I am not finding it posible to continue like this and feel that the marriage cannot last for ever like this. Should I go in for divorce in such a case. What is the best possible course of action. Any suggestions!!
chadnickole Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 I have been married for more than two years. Whenever I tried to have sex with my wife she felt extreme pain and the marraige could not be consummated as yet. We consulted the Doctors and followed the advice. But even after about 8 months of the treatment the problem persists. She has not confided whether it is due to some incident like sexual attempt in her earlier life or any fear. I am not finding it posible to continue like this and feel that the marriage cannot last for ever like this. Should I go in for divorce in such a case. What is the best possible course of action. Any suggestions!! Are you putting it in the right place?? obviously you didn't have sex before marriage, Are you seeking a sex counseler? Maybe stick too Oral, This may be something she can't help. If you love her enough and she loves you, You two will figure something Out!!! I don't know, Good Luck!!!
Antha Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 I think you need to give it every effort with your wife. Consult a sex therapist as suggested above; have the doctors found any medical reason why it would be painful to her. I agree with Chad...if you guys love each other, you'll figure it out. Sex is important to a marriage; it's only 10% important when you are having it, and 90% important when you are not (from a guy's Point of View, anyway). You both recognize the problem, now work together to find a solution. Honestly, it's a crappy reason to divorce her...but you know what you can live with and what you can't. If you try every avenue and still find the problem existing, then it's time to ask yourself how important the sex is to you. Antha
norajane Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Is it vaginismus? And you've been doing all the exercises together? She may be afraid to confide her fear in you - for fear of hurting you or disappointing you in some way, maybe. Perhaps she could confide in her doctor? Or a therapist, as others have suggested. In the meantime, keep trying the exercises and explore your sexual relationship in other ways. Oral sex, manual clit stimulation, vibrators, tell each other a fantasy or two, play in the shower together, have her bring you off with her hands - have fun with each other and try to make it stress-free.
Dad_of_3 Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Sex isnt about the straigh forwardness. there are always different ways for intimacy. At this point in time, you arent feeling like your needs are being met. Confide in her, and seek other avenues for treatment or therapy. I'm sure when you put it in perspective its but a drop in a small ocean of what you see in your relationship.
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