crazy_grl Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 There are 2 related topics I want to discuss. First: I was having a conversation about the diamond industry and I told my guy I don't want diamonds. He asked what I'd do if someone gave them to me. I know I'd want him to take it back, but I'd feel bad about not accepting the gift. Then again, I shouldn't feel that bad, because he shouldn't get me something he knows I don't want. For example, if he gave me a fur coat, I'd not only tell him to take it back, I'd be super pissed. But many guys might have a hard time believing that a woman really doesn't want diamonds when she says she doesn't since we've all been conditioned to think women want diamonds and jewelry. If your bf/gf gave you a gift that you're against, would you accept it or tell them to take it back? Second: The reason we were talking about this was because a guy was on the radio talking about giving women diamonds. He said that women always say they don't want them and always pretend to get mad when they get them because it costs too much, yet they never actually return them to the store. So women, if your guy spent an excessive amount on jewelry for you, would you have him take it back? Or do you just complain about the cost and keep it anyway? Guys, would you want her to have you return it or would you prefer she accept it? If she's going to keep it, would you prefer your girl to complain about the cost or just say "thank you"?
Woggle Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 If my gift went against her personal beliefs and her principles I would want her to say so because I don't want a woman that would sell out what she believes in. I knew about the blood diamonds way before I even met my wife and I told her I refuse to support it and it turns she feels the same way so that worked out. If she were to just complain about the gift because I couldn't magically red her mind then yes I would take issue.
Art_Critic Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 So women, if your guy spent an excessive amount on jewelry for you, would you have him take it back? Or do you just complain about the cost and keep it anyway? How much is excessive ? 1k 2k 3k ? I for one never look at price when I give a gift.. I get the gift and give it for it's meaning..
CaliGuy Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 In all my relationships I've always asked what they liked and got them that sort of gift. I'd never buy someone a diamond knowing they wouldn't want it.... All it takes is a little communication.
VandGsMom Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 If someone spent an excessive amount on ANYTHING for me, I think I would keel over... As for whether or not the nature of the gift were highly offensive, I already used my remaining allotment of brain cells for the day to wrap my mind around the possibility that SOMEONE , ONE DAY , MIGHT give me an excessive gift..... the possibilities of that are slim to none, tho, so in that vein of logic, I will never get one.... I mean, they don't sell blood diamonds at the Dollar Only store, do they?
bab Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 It depends on why I don't want the gift. If it's just money, then I'd probably accept it, unless I felt it was truely inappropriate (like if we weren't very serious). If it's for moral reasons, than that's another thing altogether. Because this has come up a couple times, I would also like to add that while the diamond trade still has significant human rights problems, steps have been taken to ensure that diamond that fund civil wars as in the movie, "Blood Diamond" are not sold in the international trade anymore, it's called the Kimberley Process.
Author crazy_grl Posted December 13, 2006 Author Posted December 13, 2006 How much is excessive ? 1k 2k 3k ? Excessive meaning reaching the limit of or beyond what you could comfortably afford. That would be different numerically for every person.
Author crazy_grl Posted December 13, 2006 Author Posted December 13, 2006 If someone spent an excessive amount on ANYTHING for me, I think I would keel over... As for whether or not the nature of the gift were highly offensive, I already used my remaining allotment of brain cells for the day to wrap my mind around the possibility that SOMEONE , ONE DAY , MIGHT give me an excessive gift..... the possibilities of that are slim to none, tho, so in that vein of logic, I will never get one.... Awww... that's so sad. Here I'll give you a vitual (non-blood) diamond. It's not much... well, it's not anything at all actually, but it's the best I can do. Actually, I don't think anyone's ever given me anything very expensive either, so don't feel too bad. The most expensive thing I've ever gotten was a printer/copier/fax machine from my ex... which is actually much more useful than jewelry.
Author crazy_grl Posted December 13, 2006 Author Posted December 13, 2006 Thanks for the answers all. Guys you're answering the first question, but from the perspective you giving the gift. The question was about what you would do if your gf gave you something you were against, maybe not even knowing you were against it. I think the best thing to do would be to tell her to take it back, but could you actually do it knowing you might hurt her feelings?
CaliGuy Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Thanks for the answers all. Guys you're answering the first question, but from the perspective you giving the gift. The question was about what you would do if your gf gave you something you were against, maybe not even knowing you were against it. I think the best thing to do would be to tell her to take it back, but could you actually do it knowing you might hurt her feelings? I'd tell her that it's something I am against and that it's nothing personal. I have to imagine she'd get over feeling hurt pretty easily. I'd reiterate how appreciative I am of the gift and offer an alternative. If she respected my stance on something then I am sure she'd understand. If not then I've have to question if I'm with the right person....
Mz. Pixie Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 I'd tell her that it's something I am against and that it's nothing personal. I have to imagine she'd get over feeling hurt pretty easily. I'd reiterate how appreciative I am of the gift and offer an alternative. If she respected my stance on something then I am sure she'd understand. If not then I've have to question if I'm with the right person.... Welcome back CaliGuy, long time no see!
CaliGuy Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Welcome back CaliGuy, long time no see! Hey sexy, what's happening?
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