Davis100 Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 What is the deal with some people (depending on the situation), who are very adament about NOT wanting something, all of a sudden does a complete turn around and wants to do what they orginally didn't want to do? Not only that, but seem very happy about it. Maybe the key word is "seems." My sister, who has been married for 7 years, has NOT wanted a child with her mentally/verbally abusive husband before, and has always been very adament about not wanting one with him and has made it known to people she doesn't, all of sudden wants a baby with him out of the blue. It could be that maybe she has secretly always wanted one with him and just made others beleive she didnt' since he treats her pretty poorly. Or maybe she has done this complete turn around, thinking it will make things better between them? I'm sure only she knows the real reason, but its just odd to me. I have asked her why all of a sudden she wants a child after for so long she said she didn't. I also asked her if he has tried to convince her to have one. She says no, it wasn't his idea, it was hers. That he did want one and always has, but it was her choice to decide she wanted one as well. I have told her, I hope shes not doing it for the wrong reasons, as in trying to make things better between them. She has assured me thats not the case, but yet she doesn't give me a reason for her complete turn around. No she doesn't have to give me a reason, it just concerns me thats all. She went from not wanting one, to wanting one, overnight it seems. Or it appears that way anyway. Just 2 weeks ago she talked of how crappy he talks to her calling her names, and how she doesn't want to bring a child into a situation as that, but now she wants a child? I understand people have the right to change their minds don't get me wrong, but going from one extreme to another is just weird to me. I know it matters not what I think, and I want her to be happy, but I simply do not see this as a good thing. And I think she is trying to convince herself it is. I don't see her husband changing, nor do I see the marriage changing even if she were to have a child. It would be great if I were wrong and hopefully I am. But this guy has alot of issues that need to be delt with. He needs to get himself right first before bringing a child into it. It saddens me to see my sister in denial and I think thats what it is. Do you think thats why some people do a complete turn around?
PandorasBox Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 You're right, it depends on the situation I guess. In your sisters case though, it seems that maybe she's looking for or hoping a child will make her relationship with her husband better. It wont. If anything it will make it worse. She obviously is aware of this or she wouldn't have just said how bad her husband talks to her and not wanting to bring a child into the situation, so she knows its probably not good, but maybe wants to try to convince herself it is. Do you think the complete turn around might be that she is already pregnant and just hasn't told anyone? Maybe she feels, she should put on a happy face, and accept the fact she is already pregnant, and try to make good out of a not so good situation?
Guest Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 You're right, it depends on the situation I guess. In your sisters case though, it seems that maybe she's looking for or hoping a child will make her relationship with her husband better. It wont. If anything it will make it worse. She obviously is aware of this or she wouldn't have just said how bad her husband talks to her and not wanting to bring a child into the situation, so she knows its probably not good, but maybe wants to try to convince herself it is. Do you think the complete turn around might be that she is already pregnant and just hasn't told anyone? Maybe she feels, she should put on a happy face, and accept the fact she is already pregnant, and try to make good out of a not so good situation? I thought of that, but her mother in law asked her if she was pregnant already and she said no not yet. Had a friend at work tell me, I should just wish her well, if she wants a child with him, because chances are shes going to do it reguardless of what others say or how they feel. If shes going to continue to stay in an unhealthy situation with name calling and verbal/mental abuse what would make me think she wouldn't want a child too.
JadeStar Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Had a friend at work tell me, I should just wish her well, if she wants a child with him, because chances are shes going to do it reguardless of what others say or how they feel. If shes going to continue to stay in an unhealthy situation with name calling and verbal/mental abuse what would make me think she wouldn't want a child too. IMO, I agree with your friend. I understand she is your sister, and you want whats best for her and for her to not be in this situation, BUT its her choice if she wants to live like that. She knows she's in a bad situation, and its hard to say why she wants to bring a child into something that is obviously unhealthy. She also knows you don't think this is a good idea.I'm sure you don't want to stand by and watch something happen you feel is not good, but sometimes, thats what you gotta do.
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