persistant Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Typical I see you in the same or very similiar type distress I have been in. Its taken me about a year to get where I'm at and I have made choices that have complicated my situation because of my lack of understanding. I've had LOTS of people tell me point blank the truth and I knew it but I emotionally wouldn't accept it. Our heads and our hearts don't always follow the same path at the same speed. You will figure it all out. I know you will just by how you are posting. I see myself in your words and in your posts. I also see the same type of men as you are dealing with. Your obsession with guy 1 maybe fogging your vision of guy 2. or as you said guy 2 was to fill in the void guy 1 was leaving in you and he can't fullfill your total needs to feel at peace in a man. this is my view. (to bad we both didn't have PMs available ...)
Art_Critic Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 I see you in the same or very similiar type distress I have been in. Some might call it dysfunction and not distress..
persistant Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Some might call it dysfunction and not distress.. Dysfunction is such a negative word. I hear that word and it makes me feel even more squashed then I already feel. Distress is the feeling.
Art_Critic Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Dysfunction is such a negative word. Maybe it is negative because it is the correct word to describe the situation and calling it something else makes everything feel like nothing is really wrong.. Hence the word Denial would then apply
persistant Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Maybe it is negative because it is the correct word to describe the situation and calling it something else makes everything feel like nothing is really wrong.. Hence the word Denial would then apply being involved with a man like #1 already lowers a persons feelings of self worth with all the questions of why? and the feeling of not having.. It happens in a way that what you call denial I call blindness. I think deep down we know the dysfunction and we know the denial yet its hard to swallow and using softer words don't eliminate what it is, it only softens it as in 'handleing with kid gloves'.. I didn't do too well with direct approaches from people. I was already beaten down enough and I beat on myself more then anyone so any harsh reality stabbed me deep and caused more drama then I needed... Therefore I am using softer words here because it is what I prefer for myself. (do undo others as you would want done unto you.) Being in the place that typical and I have been and others is already confusing enough. Having such harsh reality so bluntly put in your face can make a person crumble to the floor with no strength to keep oneself together. She will find her way out of this confusion, agony, and discomfort. I can see it in her words with her questions.. She is seeking information and not wanting someone to give her the answers. She wants data so she can deceide for herself. Giving her examples and experiences helps with seeing and developing her own conclusions as to what is best for her.. I don't want to attack her or tell her what is wrong with her. That only compounds her emotions. She wants ideas, opinions, suggestions not orders. Harsh words are for harsh measures. I don't think this is a time for a harsh measure but a time for understanding and soul searching. She is a woman also not a man. An emotional creature.
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